23. Oh No
OH NO
How did I fuck up this badly? Zenith felt like one of his book characters, when they’d done something so completely stupid that they could only watch as the train wreck unfolded. “I... How did it rip apart like that?”
He reached into the nightstand and found the box of condoms under the pile of books and lube.
They had expired two years ago.
Zenith gaped, going cold with horror. How did I even miss this?
When he turned, he found Emre with his eyes glazed over. “Sweetheart?”
Emre blinked himself back, but it took a couple of tries. “What?”
“Are you—How are you feeling?”
“You came inside me,” Emre said.
Zenith felt terrible.
“It’s so fucking hot,” Emre added.
“What?” Zenith frowned, trying to make sense of this. “Sweetheart, I might’ve just given you a third baby.”
“Well.” Emre shrugged a little. “When you’ve already got two, what’s one more? The thing is, when wolf alphas and wolf omegas mate, they get a litter of pups. I’ve been getting them one at a time because these pups are mixed species.”
Zenith gaped again. “You’re... taking this much better than I am.”
Emre frowned and cupped his belly. “You don’t want this baby?”
“No, of course I want this baby too! It’s just...
Sweetheart, you never got a chance to recover fully from Bean’s birth.
” Gods, Zenith felt awful. He had promised to be responsible for Emre’s health and safety, and he’d gone and fucked up at the first opportunity.
He should’ve checked the damn box of condoms before using any.
And yet, in his secret heart of hearts, he felt a kernel of pride. If Emre had conceived two pups so easily, then it meant that this heat would likely lead to a third child.
Zenith’s own baby, planted inside Emre.
He hung his head. “I’m a terrible alpha.”
Emre frowned. “Why do you say that?”
Zenith bit his lip, burning with shame. He didn’t want to admit the truth, but he had to, to even the scales somehow. “Part of me likes that I... that I might have just knocked you up. I’m sorry.”
Emre continued to stare. Then his confusion cleared up, and he reached over to pull Zenith into a hug. “This is already way more than what the other alphas have given me.”
“I don’t want to be another bad example!”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying!” Emre scowled and bopped Zenith on the nose. “You care. You’re providing for me, and you like having the pups around. In my opinion, that’s a good example.”
Zenith relaxed slightly.
“The way I see it, you never got to experience most of my pregnancy with Bean,” Emre said. “Now you’ll get to help me with the rest of it.”
That... was a better way of thinking about it. Zenith sighed. “Okay.”
“Especially the morning sickness,” Emre added.
Zenith sagged. “Fuck. And you were looking forward to not being bloated, too.”
“Well, you can make it up to me,” Emre said.
“I will.”
It was different, watching Emre carry his child.
Sure, Zenith had promised to provide for Emre and protect him no matter what. But there was an extra sense of responsibility now that hadn’t been there before.
He had gotten Emre into this situation; he would get Emre out of it too.
It was maybe starting to stress him out a little.
“Are you sure you’re allowed to eat that much raw meat?” Zenith said worriedly.
“I’ll be fine,” Emre said.
“But—”
“Zenith.” Emre took Zenith’s hand, looking him in the eye. “I grew up in a wolf pack. I’ve been pregnant twice. I think I know enough to avoid making mistakes.”
Zenith’s face grew warm. “Sorry. It’s just... I’m nervous.”
Emre’s gaze softened. He slid off his chair and climbed onto Zenith’s lap. “Trust me to tell you if something’s really wrong, or if I need help.”
“Okay,” Zenith said, pulling Emre into a hug. “Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d still be writing your books,” Emre said with a grin. “How are Ulgon and Burnzinger?”
“I was thinking... Ulgon’s a mage, right? What if he accidentally... casts a spell on himself, and suddenly he has the ability to become pregnant?”
Emre’s eyes bugged out. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, before croaking, “Wow. That’s... That’s a really unique idea.”
Zenith squinted. “You don’t seem surprised. Or pleased.”
“I’m...” Emre fumbled for something to say. It was the first time Zenith had seen him at such a loss for words, that even his foot-in-mouth syndrome did not kick in.
“Is something wrong with the idea?” Zenith said.
“No! No, that sounds... That makes sense, actually,” Emre said, but he still had that wide-eyed look about him.
Zenith held his gaze.
“It’s...” Emre cringed. “It’snotmysecret.”
“Secret? What secret?”
“Oh fuck.” Emre looked up at Zenith, horrified. He clapped his hands over his mouth. “Nothing!”
If it wasn’t Emre’s secret, then... It could only be Uriel’s.
Had Uriel changed his body so he could bear a child?
This was heading into territory that Zenith had no business in.
“Okay, no magical body modifications for Ulgon,” Zenith said. “But what if he finds a baby on his doorstep?”
Emre heaved a sigh, his entire body going loose.
“Yeah, that... that could work. Anyone could find a mystery child on their doorstep. It’s not specific to certain people in the real world.
” Then his head snapped up. “Wait. What if that baby was Burnzinger’s?
Say he had a one-night stand with an omega, and the omega carried it to term but abandoned it?
And Uri—Uh, Ulgon finds and adopts the baby? ”
“I like that idea,” Zenith said. “It’s actually similar to one of my friends’ stories—Telos, that alpha shapeshifter who loves pterodactyls? He found out that he had a baby from a one-night stand, except his baby was already kidnapped when he received that information.”
Emre cringed. “Wow, that really sucks.”
Zenith nodded. “My friends staged a rescue and got several other victims out of that situation. You might’ve heard of them? Walren and Ivo, my brothers’ mates. Along with Nat and Killian.”
Emre blinked, then nodded. “Yeah. Uriel added me to a chat group with all the omegas.”
It was interesting that the omegas hung out with Uriel so often. Zenith had no idea that Uriel was in the omega chat, and before today, he would’ve thought it was just because Uriel was a single dad. But with the revelation of a possible secret... Maybe there was more to it.
It still wasn’t Zenith’s business.
“Are you making friends with them?” he asked warmly.
“Uh-huh!” Emre beamed. “It’s been good. I was all alone when I came to Cartfalls, but then I met you, and now I have a bunch of omega friends too. Some of them said I could borrow their books. I think we might even start a book club.”
“That’s great!” Zenith said.
“Did you ever resolve the situation with the bad guy and the cart?” Emre asked. “In your book. You had Cheeserton try to make the cart kidnap a baby, but I haven’t read the latest chapters.”
“I’ll wrap up that plot arc soon,” Zenith promised. “Then you can read it.”
Emre beamed.
“Hey, before I forget.” Zenith said, pulling out his wallet. He retrieved a black card from its slim pockets. “This is for you.”
Emre took the card, his forehead wrinkling. “A credit card with my name on it?”
“It has your name on it, but it’s connected to my account,” Zenith said. “It has a spending cap of a thousand dollars every month. Sorry it’s not more.”
He ducked his head, feeling less worthy next to his older brothers’ accumulated wealth.
“A thousand dollars every month?!” Emre squeaked.
“That doesn’t include your food or healthcare,” Zenith said. “I’m paying for those already.”
Emre gaped and whispered, “But that’s so much money.”
“It’s really not,” Zenith said. “Like I told you before, I was hoping to have a much bigger hoard before I began a courtship. Then I found you. So... this isn’t the fancy gift I was hoping to court you with.”
Emre’s cheeks turned pink. “This is way more than what I need. You didn’t have to.”
“I want to,” Zenith growled. “I want to be a good alpha.”
“You’re plenty good even without this.” Emre shuffled closer. “I won’t spend it all. I’m not here to suck your money dry.”
“Just my cock?” Zenith gave him a crooked smile.
Emre coughed, growing redder. “Well...”
“Face it, you’re here because of my stunning good looks,” Zenith said.
Emre burst out laughing. “Is that what you really think?”
“Naw.” Zenith wrapped an arm around Emre and tugged him close. “You’re here for my embarrassing childhood stories.”
Emre rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “You still owe me one.”
“I’m sure Hux will be delighted to tell you ten,” Zenith said dryly, dropping a kiss on Emre’s nose. Emre kissed his chin.
“Thank you,” Emre said quietly. “No one’s ever done this for me before, either.”
Zenith wanted to tear apart the alphas Emre had met; he wanted to rage that he hadn’t gotten to Emre before all that crap happened to him. But there was no way to change the past.
He sighed and nuzzled Emre. “Their loss. Have you decided on a name for Bean?”
“Yes! I was waiting for a good time to tell you,” Emre said, his eyes sparkling. He scooped Bean off the kitchen floor and kissed his furry snout. “Hey, Bean. This is Zenith. You’ve met him before.” He turned the pup to face Zenith. “Zen, meet Sherwin, named for his swiftness in water.”
Zenith’s heart could’ve burst. He scritched Bean behind the ears, smiling when Bean leaned into his hand. “That’s perfect. Hey, Bean. Sherwin. You’ve got a nice name.”
Bean licked his chops and strained toward Emre’s chest for another round of milk.
Emre huffed. “Sure, go ahead and ignore us.”
Bean wagged his tail.
Zenith laughed. “He’s amazing. Abbie too. And...”
He reached down, carefully rubbing Emre’s belly. For all the assumptions they had made that Emre was pregnant again, they hadn’t seen any proof yet. Zenith was torn between wanting it, and not wanting to put Emre through more months of discomfort.
Emre’s face twitched, as though he was thinking about the pregnancy too.
Bean belched.
Emre froze. And his face turned green. “I gotta puke.”