CHAPTER TEN #3
The command did not belong to an active scene. It remained a request shaped by their shared rules. Dana wrote: Yes. A moment later: Yes, what? Dana stared at the screen, then smiled. Yes, Brynn. The reply came quickly. Acceptable. Dana placed the phone facedown. The day suddenly felt easier.
* * *
Brynn arrived at eight fourteen carrying a small overnight bag.
Dana met her inside the private sitting room rather than in the central hall.
The residence staff had already logged her arrival.
Agents knew she was present as a personal guest. No one knew why she would remain after midnight.
Brynn wore dark trousers and a burgundy sweater.
Her hair was tied loosely back. Fatigue showed faintly beneath her eyes. Dana closed the door. "Your pain?"
"Two."
"Fatigue?"
"Moderate."
"Do you want to postpone?"
"No. I am capable of having a conversation. I am not capable of another physically demanding scene."
"I did not ask for one."
"Your expression did."
Dana almost smiled. "I was assessing possibilities."
"Presidentially?"
"Personally."
Brynn removed her sweater, revealing a fitted black shirt beneath it. Dana's attention lingered. Brynn noticed. "You said we would discuss last night. Before you attempt to distract both of us."
"I have not attempted anything."
"You are looking at my mouth."
Dana returned her gaze to Brynn's eyes. "That is not an attempt."
"It is effective."
The admission warmed her. They sat on the sofa facing each other. The presidential pin remained on Dana's blouse. No transition occurred. Brynn took a bottle of water from the side table and drank. Dana waited until she finished.
"What did you like?" Brynn asked.
The direct question bypassed every easier beginning. Dana folded one leg beneath herself. "Kneeling. It made the difference between our roles physical. Being watched. I expected it to feel humiliating. It did not."
"What did it feel like?"
"Honest."
Brynn's expression softened. "The restraint?"
"I liked not being able to reach for you because it prevented me from attempting to direct the pace."
"You could still direct the scene through your words."
"Yes."
"Did you believe that at the time?"
Dana considered it. "Mostly."
"What part did not?"
"The part that worried asking for a change would disappoint you."
Brynn nodded. "That is important. You used yellow, but only when the physical sensation became impossible to ignore. We need to know whether you would use it earlier for an emotional concern." Dana looked down. "I do not know."
"Then we practice outside scenes. I ask questions when nothing sexual is happening. You answer with a color according to how the conversation feels."
"That sounds artificial."
"It will become natural."
Dana nodded slowly.
"What did you dislike?"
"The distance afterward. Before the bath. After I came, I felt as though I had fallen somewhere very far inside myself. You were in front of me, but I could not reach you."
"Did untying your hands help?"
"Immediately."
"Then restraints come off sooner after an orgasm. Anything physical?"
"The carpet was harder than I expected."
Brynn's mouth curved. "That explains the cushions in my bag."
"You brought cushions?"
"Yes."
Dana looked toward the overnight bag. Brynn caught her wrist before she could reach for it. "We are talking." The touch sent an immediate pulse through her. Dana looked down at Brynn's hand. "We are not inside the dynamic."
"No. I asked for your attention with touch. You may remove my hand."
Dana considered it. She left the hand where it was.
"Continue." Brynn released her. "What did you want that did not happen?
" Dana's pulse increased. "To touch you.
Remove your clothes. See the scar on your side.
Kiss it again. Then touch you until you stopped watching me as though you could predict everything I would do.
" Brynn remained very still. Dana continued, encouraged by the visible effect.
"I wanted to learn what sounds you make when you are not controlling them. "
"Dana."
The warning contained desire. Dana smiled slightly. "You requested honesty. I am being thorough." Brynn looked away for one brief second. The loss of control was tiny. Dana enjoyed it immensely. When Brynn returned her gaze, authority had settled into it despite the absence of a formal transition.
"Color?"
Dana understood the practice immediately. "Green." Brynn nodded. "What do you fear about touching me?" Dana's smile faded. "That you will not be able to surrender any control."
"Why does that frighten you?"
"Because I do not want intimacy to become something done only to me. I worry you will care for me but never allow me to care for you unless you are injured or grieving."
The truth made the room quiet. Brynn looked down at her hands. "Yellow." Dana stopped. The word was not a rejection. It was the exact practice Brynn had proposed.
"What needs to change?"
"The pace of the conversation."
Dana waited. Brynn drew a slow breath. "That fear is not irrational. I am more comfortable providing care than receiving it. I also associate yielding control with failing to remain alert."
"Because of your profession?"
"And earlier experiences."
Dana wanted to ask what experiences. She did not. Brynn saw the restraint. "Thank you." Dana nodded. "Green?" Brynn considered it. "Green."
"What would receiving care from me look like?"