CHAPTER TEN
CORA
Back in LA, I drifted onward, listless and blank. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Axel about the encounter with my parents. I didn’t want him to worry—or maybe I just didn’t want him to probe. There were too many big unanswered questions, and all I knew how to do for now was look away. I had no emotional bandwidth left to dive into the quagmire.
Because it wasn’t just about Axel. It was about Chris’s hopes, too. He’d wanted me to take over the family business, a position that had been designated for him. He’d wanted nothing more than to make our father proud, up to and including denying his own sexuality. And if there was anything I wanted in life, it was to honor my brother’s truth. The truth he sought to squash and mute. The guilt that I carried from his suicide was a poison that had been dissolving my insides for years. Joining the family business was a way to atone. I could still live the life that Chris had always dreamt for us.
But I couldn’t turn away from Axel.
There had to be a way to blend the two paths. I just didn’t know what it was.
Monday morning, after a day and a half of tense expectation waiting for the other shoe to drop, they called.
“Cora, we’re both here,” my mother announced after I’d picked up, her voice bland and hollow. “Are you available to chat?”
“Of course,” I said, setting my purse down in the front hallway of my condo. I’d just gotten back from seminar and an immaculate home greeted me. The housekeeper had come and gone during the morning, leaving everything exactly as I liked it—including a bowl of mints near the door for guests.
“Good. We need to get some things clear moving forward,” my father said brusquely.
“About what?” I asked unnecessarily. Like this conversation could be about anything other than the engagement ring still encircling my finger.
“About your involvement with the family,” he said.
Ouch. Emotion clamped my throat straight away this time. At least they weren’t there to see the hurt that had begun stretching itself through my limbs.
“Oh. I didn’t realize my status as a family member was up for debate.”
“Everything is up for debate, at all times,” my father said. “Another thing I thought you’d learned by now.”
“Well, let’s hear it.” I clutched the phone so tightly my knuckles ached. “Let’s hear the new rules.”
“There are no new rules,” he went on. “There is simply a choice. By now I think it is apparent that your mother and I want the best for you. We’ve worked tirelessly our entire lives to offer you the best of the best of everything. You have a personal driver on each coast. You have residences on each coast. Housekeepers, paid schooling, private chefs, personal trainers, a limitless allowance for whatever your heart desires. We are prepared to finance your lifestyle for as long as you require. But that financing only happens if certain conditions are met.”
The knot that had been tightening in my stomach now cinched into a sickening stone.
“I think it’s also clear how we feel about this boy you insist on calling your boyfriend,” my father added. “But in case there was any doubt, I’ll reiterate: he is a neanderthal. We refuse to be associated with someone whose name sounds better suited for the car mechanic he should have become. We would never do business with him, and we certainly will not allow someone like him to become part of our family.”
I made a small noise, but my mother interjected. “Whatever you’re feeling now for him, I promise, it will pass. You will survive without him. I swear it.”
“The key words being without him,” my father said gruffly. “Because we will not allow him to become part of this empire. Your future does not include him, if you wish to continue in this family.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I held back the sobs threatening to escape.
“Continue in this family?” I echoed. “So if I stay with Axel I’ll no longer be your daughter?” I laughed bitterly. “That’s insane.”
“Empire and family are one and the same.”
“So why don’t you invite the board members to our birthdays?” I shot back.
“Don’t start splitting hairs,” my mother warned.
“If you continue with this boy, you’ll have none of the conveniences you’ve come to expect at your disposal,” my father said with the air of someone discussing an upcoming business trip. “You’ll be on your own. All credit cards, drivers, housekeepers, trainers, allowances, and air travel will be revoked.”
Silence pounded the air around me. My father had more; I could feel it in the tense stretch of miles between us, tugging tight like the promise of a bungee cord at the bottom of the ravine.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered. “What does it matter? I’ll step up for the company. I’ll work with Eli. Just let me be with Axel.”
“Absolutely not.”
“We’ll keep it a secret,” I said, the emotion making my voice come out strained and swollen. “Nobody has to know.”
“Oh, Cora, don’t be so daft,” my mother chided. “You’re in business school. Act like it.”
“You cannot have it both ways,” my father went on. “Because if you choose him, you are choosing failure. I will not permit that boy to be associated with my brand. With my livelihood. With everything I have fought my entire life to create, maintain, and uphold. If he is in any way associated with the Margulis name, I will make sure that he sinks.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, forcing my voice to be steady when everything inside me was crumbling.
“It means whatever it needs to mean. You stay away from him, and he is free to pursue his bad ideas with his own agenda in his own ways. But if he dares comes near my empire? I’m prepared to do whatever is necessary to ensure he doesn’t even touch the ground I spit on. Do you understand?”
I swiped at some tears that had fallen. “If I choose him and you ruin him, then you’re ruining me too.”
“So you do understand.” An eternal pause. “But if this man is so important to you, I’m sure that will be a small sacrifice,” my father said, the sarcasm dripping through the cell connection.
“I don’t understand why he’s so incompatible,” I finally forced out. “I know he doesn’t come from money.” I swallowed the hiccup of a sob that threatened to out my careening emotions. “But he’s driven. Just like you were.”
“His drive is laughable. Besides, this role requires you have an appropriate partner at your side,” my father said. “And the joke of a man you’re currently choosing is definitely not appropriate.”
“He’s not a joke,” I forced out, moving down the hallway on leaden legs. “Just because he’s adopted doesn’t mean he’s worse.”
“He’s utterly inferior in every conceivable way.” My father’s voice came out a menacing hiss. “You don’t know what you’re getting into. I can share the police reports if you’re interested. The adoption records. The bankruptcy filings from his adoptive parents. Which documents would you like to peruse first?”
The weight of this conversation had forced me to sink down the side of the wall. I brought my knees to my chest, crying into my knees.
“You just have to make a choice.” My mother’s voice cracked, the first ounce of emotion I’d heard from her since the start of this conversation. “Choose your future.”
“You don’t have to answer now,” my father added. “Take your time to think about it, because once you choose, there is no turning back. This is an irrevocable decision. Life is full of hard choices, Cora. But choosing correctly is what separates the winners from the losers. We’ve groomed you to be a winner. To be the best of the best. There’s a reason you are where you are right now. And I don’t think you want to skydive from your golden perch right now, because you will hit the ground hard. You’re not ready to confront the reality of what awaits you at the bottom.”
“Think about it,” my mother repeated. “Please.”
“We’ll need an answer by Friday,” my father said. And then the line went dead.
My cell phone clattered to the floor, and I covered my face with my hands while the sobs rolled out of me. I hadn’t ever felt so profoundly trampled or betrayed by my family. Being with Axel had always been risky, but I’d never imagined they’d threaten my status as a family member. This felt like royal exile, worse than when Prince Harry stepped down.
It wasn’t the potential loss of the creature comforts that worried me. While I sat in the front hallway, crying and imagining the future without my driver or chef or trainer, I was confident I could hack it. My father might not believe in me, but who did he really believe in except himself? Sure, it would take some getting used to. I had never even really looked at my monthly budget before, but I could start, see what I could whittle down.
With Axel at my side, we could take it on. We could start our new reality. We would start our new business and be fine, just like Axel had always said.
But if I chose him, then I’d be ruining Axel’s future too. Axel was set on Fairchild Enterprises becoming a premier investment firm. He and his brothers could move to Mongolia, and my father would still be able to block them at every turn. My father’s reach, and network, was incredibly far-reaching.
And there wasn’t anything Axel wanted more than to make something of himself. To shoot for the stars and hit the next galaxy over, as he’d always said. If I took that away from him, the guilt would eat me alive.
Chris’s letter lingered unpleasantly in my thoughts.
This was my chance to honor him. To give him what he wanted for our family, that sparkling best-case scenario that he’d seen as the ultimate goal, even in his darkest moments.
I hadn’t helped Chris enough while he was alive. The only way I could redeem myself was to give him what he wanted for the Margulis family.
Choosing for Chris created my personal worst-case scenario.
Choosing for Axel created his personal worst-case scenario.
There was no winning here. Not for me. Not for anyone.