CHAPTER 35
STORM
I heard Dimples’ door close earlier, but she didn’t stop by my room like she always does. I’m worried about her. Since Saturday night, she’s been off. I know this shit with Frost has her edgy, but it feels like something deeper.
Last night, I was in the clubhouse drinking a beer when she came home late from work. When I asked where she’d been, she said she’d stopped by Black Briar because her tires needed air. Seemed strange since we have our own pump in the garage out back, but I didn’t question her.
Typical Dimples, she smiled and joked around with everyone, but I knew better. When I’d cornered her, she brushed me off, telling me the thing with Frost had me on edge. Since she needed me to, I’d let her think I believed her. But I won’t let her get away with it again tonight.
I glance at the clock. Shadow won’t be home from work for another hour, so that’ll give me plenty of time to check on Dimples.
I slip from my room and knock on her door.
“Yeah,” I hear her say.
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
There’s a long silence, and I’m thinking she won’t answer. Have I done something wrong?
Yeah, I’ve done plenty wrong. At every turn, I’m fucking up the club, but Dimples is my anchor, and if I’ve lost her, I’ve lost everything.
The door opens a crack. Her eyes are red and puffy.
Without thinking, I push inside and place my hand against her head. “Jesus, what happened? Who did this to you?”
Anger builds inside me. If Frost did anything to Dimples, I’ll end her.
She shakes her head. “Just having a rough night.”
“Hey, it’s me. Talk to me.”
She walks to her mini-fridge and pulls out two beers. “Have a drink with me?”
“Of course.”
She twists the cap off one and hands it to me before opening the second. We sit at the tiny table in the corner of her room. It’s just big enough for two people, and our knees will bump if we put our legs under the table, so we usually sit sideways.
Tonight, I turn so I’m facing her. I want to see her entire face while we talk. She hesitates for a moment before she swings around. Her knees bump mine, and we both laugh.
“I suppose we should’ve met in your luxury penthouse,” she teases.
“I’ve got my underwear hanging up to dry, but you’re always welcome.” It’s not true, but I wanted to make her laugh.
“Eww. Cozy is fine.” She smiles and pokes her knee into my thigh.
I take a swig of my beer. “What’s going on with you?”
She shrugs.
“Something felt off last night, but I left you be. Now I find you with raccoon eyes. Talk to me.”
“I don’t have raccoon eyes.” She glowers. “I didn’t wear any makeup today.”
“You’re stalling.”
I take another drink of my beer. She still hasn’t touched hers. She looks into my eyes and picks up her bottle. Her hand is shaking hard enough I’m afraid she’ll spill her beer.
She sets it down without taking a drink. “Any more questions?”
I know what she’s trying to tell me, so I choose my words carefully. I want to put my hand over hers to stop the trembling, but something tells me to give her space.
“You haven’t been like this in a long time,” I say.
She nods and begins rubbing her hands together. Usually, it’ll do the trick, but I doubt it will tonight.
“What needs to happen here?” I’m no counselor, but over the years, I’ve learned when she’s like this, asking her this way works best. It’s my way of asking what she needs from me, but it’s too much for her if I ask directly.
“I don’t know.” Her eyes are full of sadness.
Fucking Frost. We’re still mourning the loss of Aces, and now she’s threatening the stability of the club. And I know beyond anything, Dimples craves stability. She’d never had it in her life until she patched in.
Seeing Dimples like this causes the fire inside me to burn. Nearly five fucking months since Aces passed, and I’m letting cracks form. I might not muster what I need for myself, but I should for Dimples. I will for Dimples.
I put my hand over hers. “I love this club. And I love you. And Frost ain’t gonna fucking destroy any of this.”
“It’s been good, hasn’t it?” she says in a quiet voice.
“It’s been the fucking best.” As I gaze into Dimples’ eyes, something inside me stirs. Who the fuck is Frost to tear it down?
She smiles. It doesn’t quite bring out a dimple, but it’s a start. I squeeze her hand.
“Do you still believe in me?” I’m not sure why I ask, but it seems important to hear that she does.
“You’re one of the few things I do believe in.” A twinkle plays in her eyes. “You and Santa Claus.”
I grin, knowing she needs to lighten the mood. “Then I’d say I’m in damned good company.”
“The best.” She puts her other hand on top of our hands.
“I’m sorry I’ve been letting you down.”
Her eyes narrow. “Jesus, you think you’re letting me down?”
“I know I am.”
“Bullshit.”
“You’re pretty feisty for someone who looked like a raccoon ten minutes ago.”
She smiles, and this time, her dimples show. Removing her hand from the top of mine, she grabs her bottle and raises it to her lips. Her hand is still trembling but not like before.
Knowing Dimples as I do, I say, “Careful, you don’t wanna chip a tooth.”
She laughs. “Asshole,” she says before she takes a drink.
I return to my room in time for Shadow’s call. If Dimples had needed me, I would’ve stayed with her and missed it, but she kicked me outta her room. She knows Shadow’s been tentative—guarded—and it’s driving me crazy.
I wish she’d get on with it because her acting all weird with me is killing me. But I won’t tell her that. One thing I’ve learned from Dimples is patience. I can’t go in like a raging bull, expecting her to open up. As Dimples says, I gotta meet her where she’s at.
My phone rings. “Hey, you,” I say.
“Hey, back at you.”
Just hearing her voice makes my insides stir, while it also brings me peace. I lie back on my bed and cross my legs at the ankles.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Better now.”
“Uh-oh, rough one?”
“If you call having a bedpan thrown at you a bad day, then yes.”
“Eww.” I laugh.
She chuckles. “You can laugh, but you’re not the one with urine in your hair.”
“Didn’t you take a shower?” I try to keep the repulsion out of my voice.
“I had to call you.”
The thought of her lying in her bed with piss in her hair leaves me speechless.
She laughs. “Jesus, you’re gullible. Of course I took a shower. Plus, they let me wash my hair at work. Did you think I’d go all day like that?”
“I didn’t know. If I stepped out of my bulldozer and fell in the mud, they wouldn’t let me clean up.”
“Then it looks like I have the better job.”
I laugh.
“You sound like you’re in a good mood,” Shadow says.
“I am. Dimples had a meltdown tonight.”
“That put you in a good mood?” Her tone is questioning, not accusatory.
“Shit. That came out wrong. I hate that Dimples was struggling, but I just got back from her room. She’s doing better, and it lit a fire under my ass. Fucking Frost isn’t going to destroy everything I’ve worked for—everything that’s important to me.”
“That’s the spirit.” Shadow’s silence fills the space, but something tells me she has more to say. “Um, I’ve been thinking a lot about Saturday.”
Uh-oh. This can’t be good. “What about it?”
I brace myself for her answer.
“It rattled me,” she says.
I roll out of bed and pace across my room. This is my biggest fear come true. What was I thinking? A Steel Grace could never be comfortable in my world.
I hear her breathing on the other end of the line. I need to respond, but how?
“Are you still there?” she asks.
“Uh, yeah.” I’m scared and feel myself wanting to withdraw, but I told Dimples earlier it was time for me to be courageous and not back down. But this will take more courage than dealing with Frost. “I’m not sure what to say. I’m scared.”
“You are?” There’s surprise in her voice.
“Yeah. I’m afraid that you’re going to decide this is too much. That I’m too much. And I don’t know how to stop it.”
“You’re really afraid?”
“Geesh, it was hard enough saying it the first two times. Ya want me to say it again?”
She chuckles, which is what I hoped for.
“I suppose twice was enough.” Her tone is much less guarded. “You just surprised me.”
“Why?” I’m still pacing my room, but I slow, feeling a slight sense of hope.
“The you I’m getting to know. The you who admitted being scared doesn’t match what I saw Saturday night.”
“You saw a bad night. That’s not who I am.” I flop onto my bed, tiring of walking in a circle. “I’ve spent the last few days hating myself.” And hating Frost. “If only I’d said no and not taken you that night. I—”
“Stop beating yourself up. I’ve done a lot of thinking—soul searching—and I keep coming back to the same thing.”
“Which is?” I’m both nervous and hopeful as I await her answer.
“I like you. You make me feel safe and protected. You make me laugh. And I look forward to talking to you every night when I get home. It wasn’t like you went out searching for trouble. The night was fun. The gamblers were great. I can’t hold it against you what one loose cannon does.”
“Thank you.” I finally feel like I can breathe.
“You said earlier that you had a fire lit under your ass. Well, I’ve had something lit inside me, too. I want to see where this leads.”
“Me too. More than you may ever understand.”
“Trust me, I’m pretty sure I do.”