Chapter Forty Three
Ria's POV;
I was preparing for the upcoming Holi, my hands mechanically arranging marigold garlands even as my mind drifted elsewhere.
I was helping Avantika transform the haveli into something magical-vibrant colors, fragrant flowers, the promise of celebration hanging in the air like the spring breeze itself.
"Ria," Avantika's voice cut through my thoughts as she steadied herself on the ladder, adjusting a string of lights.
"Yes, bhabhi." I moved to her side quickly, holding the ladder steady even though she was already climbing down.
"All the preparations are almost done. Why don't you get some rest? It's quite late." Her eyes held that gentle concern I'd come to cherish since i married into this family-the kind of sisterly warmth that made the ache in my chest both better and worse.
I forced a smile, the same smile I'd perfected since day one. "Bhabhi, I'm not tired."
But I was. God, I was exhausted-just not in the way she thought.
"Ria," she said softly, reaching out to cup my cheek with her paint-stained hand. The tenderness of the gesture nearly undid me. "Tomorrow is a big day for you. You're meeting your husband after a whole month. You should get rest so that tomorrow you'll be well-rested."
Husband.
The word landed like a stone in my stomach, sending ripples of something painful and complicated through my entire body. At the mere mention of Aansh, everything inside me twisted-a violent, awful combination of longing and dread, hope and despair.
He'd booked my ticket to Delhi a month ago, sent me away like I was something he needed to discard, and then disappeared to the UK for "business deals."
As if I didn't matter. As if that kiss-that earth-shattering, soul-destroying kiss-had meant nothing.
"Okay, goodnight bhabhi," I whispered, my voice barely steady.
She pulled me into a hug, and for a moment, I let myself be held. Let myself pretend that everything was fine, that my world hadn't been tilted off its axis by a man who looked at me like I was both his salvation and his ruin.
When I pulled away, I kept that smile plastered on my face until I reached my room.
The door clicked shut behind me, and only then did I let it fall.
I leaned against the solid wood, my forehead pressing against its cool surface as my legs threatened to give out beneath me. The darkness of my room felt safer somehow-like I could finally stop pretending, stop holding myself together with nothing but willpower and stubborn pride.
But the memories... came flooding back.
FLASHBACK;
I was done packing.
My hands had moved with mechanical efficiency. The suitcase sat open on the bed like a mouth waiting to swallow the brief, painful chapter of my life in that villa.
He's sending you back.
The thought circled in my mind like a vulture, picking at the raw wounds in my heart.
Why? Does he regret kissing you?
I'd stared at my reflection in the ornate mirror-really looked at myself-and seen someone I barely recognized.
When had I become this girl? This woman who waited for scraps of affection from a man who'd destroyed her life? Who jumped every time he entered a room, whose heart raced at the mere sound of his voice.
No, Ria. You're not the problem. It's him.
I'd said the words out loud, needing to hear them, needing to believe them.
You want to go back, and this time you won't let Aansh decide how he treats you. You're done. Really done.
The mantra had given me strength as I'd grabbed the handle of my suitcase. One of the stuff___had taken my luggage to the car.
I'd walked through those long, opulent corridors one last time, each step an act of defiance against the part of me that wanted to run back, to find him, to demand answers to questions I was too afraid to ask.
Why did you kiss me?
Why are you sending me away?
Why do you look at me like I'm breaking your heart when you're the one who shattered mine?
But I hadn't asked. I'd just walked.
The villa's grand entrance had loomed before me, and that's when I'd seen him.
Aansh.
Standing there like a dark prince in his perfectly tailored suit, hands shoved deep in his pockets, jaw clenched so tight I could see the muscle jumping beneath his skin. Our eyes had met across the expanse of marble floor, and for one breathless, agonizing moment, the world had stopped spinning.
My stupid, traitorous heart had fluttered-at the sight of him. Even now, even after everything, my body betrayed me with its desperate, pathetic need for him.
He'd looked conflicted, his dark eyes storming with emotions I couldn't name. I'd wondered what he was thinking. Was he going to stop me? Was he going to say something-anything?
No, Ria. You don't need him.
So I'd lifted my chin, squared my shoulders, and walked past him.
I hadn't looked back. I couldn't look back, because if I did, if I saw any hint of regret or longing in his eyes, I would've crumbled.
I would've run back to him, and I couldn't afford that kind of weakness anymore.
As the car had pulled away from the villa, I'd caught one last glimpse of him through the tinted window. He was still standing there, frozen in the same position, watching me leave. His silhouette had grown smaller and smaller until the villa disappeared around a bend in the road.
And I'd promised myself-sworn to myself-that I wouldn't bend to my feelings again. That Aansh had taught me everything I learnt that much from him, even if he'd done it in the cruelest way possible.
FLASHBACK ENDS;
A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it, hot and bitter against my skin. I wiped it away angrily, but another one followed, and then another, until I was sliding down the door to crumple on the floor, my carefully constructed walls finally crumbling.
He won't come back to the same Ria, I told myself, the words a desperate prayer in the darkness. You're stronger now. You have to be stronger now.
But even as I thought it, I felt the fear coiling in my stomach like a snake. What if I wasn't? What if one look from him, one touch, one word spoken in that deep, commanding voice of his, and I fell apart all over again?
"Please," I whispered to no one, to the universe, to whatever gods might be listening. "Please don't let my heart betray me when I see him."
Because the truth-the awful, devastating truth that I could barely admit even to myself-was that despite everything he'd done, despite the pain and confusion and anger, I had fallen hopelessly in love with him.
With Aansh. The monster who'd destroyed my life. The man who held my broken heart in his hands and didn't even seem to know it.
I closed my eyes, letting exhaustion finally pull me under, i stood up and sat on the couch as i cleaned my eyes.
Tomorrow, I would have to face him. Tomorrow, I would have to pretend that he doesn't affect me, that I don't care about him.
Tomorrow, I would have to survive seeing Aansh again.
And I had no idea if I was strong enough for that.
As sleep finally claimed me there on the couch, my last conscious thought was a plea.
Please let him be worth all this pain. Or please... please help me stop loving him.
But deep down, I already knew the answer.
It was too late for either.