Chapter 34
Katie bounds through the door with a brown paper bag and a cup. “Good morning. Your delivery is here.”
I quirk my brow. “Did I order?”
“Apparently. Smells good.” She sets it on my desk, taking a stack of files with her.
I open the bag to hot oatmeal, fresh fruit, and milk. A smaller bag is marked Snack and filled with cheese, apple slices and grapes. My belly growls and I dig in. I usually hate breakfast but not today. By noon, my stomach rumbles when my phone rings and I meet with a client.
I get back to the office around one thirty and to my surprise, I have lunch waiting. But I didn’t order any, did I? I take a step back into the hall. “Katie?”
“Yes?” She looks up, wide-eyed.
“Did I order lunch?”
“I’m not sure but there was some delivered about thirty minutes ago.” She shrugs.
I shake my head. “All right, it doesn’t matter. I’m starving. Thank you.” I round my desk and open the box. Glazed roasted chicken with sweet potatoes. It smells divine. I eat until full and still have leftovers. I need this place in my life on the daily.
I climb into my Jeep, ready to go home, but It won’t start again. “Why have you decided to start this again? It’s been a year. Be nice.” After several tries, it finally starts. By the time I get home, I’m ready to eat my chicken and fall into bed. I open my door to Alden filling my fridge.
My mouth drops. “You bought groceries?”
He eyes me. “Sure.”
“Good. Thank you,” I say, setting my food box on the table. “I’m gonna shower, eat and fall into bed. I’m exhausted. I ordered food today and didn’t remember I did it.”
“You need rest. I’ll let myself out, Reesie Cup.” Alden leans over the refrigerator door, kissing me on the cheek.
“Wow.” I pull the door open wide. “You bought the store out, huh? You should try my food. It was to die for.”
“That’s good to know.” He kisses me again, heading toward the door. “Reese, are you ever going to tell me why you can’t let yourself be with Walker?”
His question brings me up short. I want to tell him. I need to say it but not yet. “Soon. When he knows, everyone will understand.”
“All right, babe. Love you.” Alden kisses me and heads out the door.
I’m showered and in bed by nine. Although I’m tired, I can’t sleep.
My phone buzzes around ten. I hate to look at it.
Makes life easier when I tell Mom I didn’t get her text.
When it does it again, I rise up out of bed.
By the third text, I begin to worry. I flip on the light on my nightstand, reaching for my phone.
Walker. I can’t lie. It brings a smile to my face. His words are perfect for a weary soul.
I miss you.
My side of the bed isn’t the same.
I prayed today that she’d look like you.
I read his text over and over. His words mean so much. Soon, that’ll all change. Walker won’t be able to look at me and I won’t blame him. How will I ever live without him?
I have files scattered across the table, much like I did at Walker’s so many weeks ago. The door opens, and a cold chill runs over me. It’s time. I turn on wobbly legs, staring at the bailiff. “Would you like to speak to the prisoner?”
I take a deep breath. “No, we’re good.”
“He’s on his way if you’d like to go in.”
I grit my teeth and nod my head. I gather my files, shoving them in my briefcase. A wave of nausea hits me, and I grab the table, steadying myself. “You can do this, Reese. And then, you owe nothing to them.”
I yank my bag from the table, walking with determination toward the courtroom.
As the door opens, my eyes immediately find him.
My heart pounds like a bass drum in my ears.
I scan the room, focusing on the front row.
I wrap my arm around my stomach as it lurches, bile rising fast. His eyes find me, stunning me to the point where I stop mid-stride.
“Reese?” Walker’s brows pull low over his eyes.
“Walker.” I nod, continuing past him and his family as they sit in the front row. I feel him approach me, but my heart won’t allow me to look at him. I drop my things on the table, laying the file down.
“What are you doing here?” His words burn in my ears, shattering me.
I lick my lips, swallowing past the knot in my throat. I can’t look at him. “Go away, Walker.” My body vibrates as he steps closer.
“Tell me.” His words are a plea. I wipe away a stray tear. “You’re kidding me? Please tell me this is a sick joke.”
“I’m sorry.” My last words to him as my life spirals out of control are inadequate at best but my heart won’t allow more.
The bailiff enters the room, bringing our conversation to an end. “State of North Carolina, Johnston Correctional Institution Parole Board is now in session. Commissioner Mary Hillard presiding.”
“This is a parole hearing for Randall Corbin Easley. Mr. Easley is serving a sentence of ten to life for the conviction of first-degree murder of Sallie Christina Pennington.
“As many of you know, we ask each inmate seeking release to undergo evaluations. We take into consideration their conduct while serving and with such cases, we also hear from the victims and their families. My understanding, Miss Pennington’s brother, Walker will serve as family spokesman.
And Mr. Easley’s sister, Reese Morgan, will be representing his interests.
” She scans the room but all I can feel is Walker’s eyes, burning into me.
“Commissioner Hilliard, Mr. Easley is a stepbrother.” Because that makes a difference, Reese.
“Duly noted,” Commissioner Hillard says. “Have both sides read and reviewed parole content and material?”
“Yes,” Walker and I answer in unison.
“After careful deliberation, we find Mr. Easley is not a candidate for parole at this time and will remain in the Johnston Correctional Institute until March 2028. At such time, we will consider a petition for parole. Miss Morgan, we will send you a copy for future hearings. We are adjourned. Thank you.”
I jerk my bag from the table, hurrying to the nearest door. “Reese.” I punch the button again as Walker’s voice grows closer. “Reese.”
I can see him approach from the corner of my eye.
I hit the elevator button a few hundred times, praying it opens.
The doors part. I step inside, pushing them to close as quickly as I can.
Just when I think I’m not going to have to face him, his hand stops the doors.
He stands, holding it open. His eyes dark blue, teaming with anger.
“Reese, I want to talk to you.”
I avert my eyes. No way in hell am I talking to him right now. I shake my head. “No. I need to go.”
The doors start to close, but he pries them open. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?” I press my lips into a thin line, staring at the ceiling. “Didn’t I deserve to know?”
As tears pool in my eyes, my sight becomes blurry. The hurt etched on his face is evident with the deep V between his eyes. I release the breath I’ve been holding.
“Don’t. It’s done.” My words are sharp and final, jarring Walker back.
The doors close as our eyes meet for the last time. I fall against the wall when the elevator starts moving. I’m done now.
The three-and-a-half-hour drive home is miserable at best. I expelled every ounce of water from my body through my eyes. To make matters worse, Alden is waiting for me when I get home. My ass beat, I drag it from my Jeep.
“What the fuck was that, Reese?” Alden’s nostrils flare.
I hold my hand up, too battered to take his shit. “Stop, please. I love him, but I made a fucking promise I can’t go back on.” I step around him, fighting with the lock on my door.
“A promise? Like the one you made to Walker? To love him, to marry him.” His rage is palpable by his biting words.
I turn on him, barreling into him. I shove my finger in his face, ready to for the fight.
“Don’t you fucking dare tell me what I’ve lost. You don’t get to do that.
I told you. I fucking warned you all it was bad.
Reading his damn files, finding out what a monster my dad picked over me.
It was the worst of my life, knowing I had to leave Walker,” I scream, my chest breaking open.
“You had a fucking choice, dammit. You did this.” He steps away from me. “I refuse to bear witness to another minute of you ripping yourself apart for someone’s approval you’re never going to fucking get! Do you understand? Never.”
“No, I don’t understand.” My body quakes. “I’ll never make sense of why it was important to me. My father asked. Why did I do it knowing it would cost me everything? I. Don’t. Fucking. Know. But I had to.” I collapse on the ground. I have nothing left.
He throws his hands in the air. “That’s great, Reese. When your daughter asks why her father resents you, tell her it’s something you learned as a child.”
“Alden, please don’t leave me,” I beseech him as I sit in the ashes of what was once my life.
He swipes his face with the back of his hand. “I can’t watch another minute, Reese. I’ve stood by for years as you’ve destroyed everything good in your life because you decided you didn’t deserve it. But this,” he shakes his head, looking to the heavens, “it’s beyond what I can deal with.”
“I know.” I cry, my body involuntarily shaking as bile rises, choking me.
“All of this and it’s not even the worst thing you’ve done here.
” My eyes dart to his. “You’ve left your child without a father.
A good man, Reese. One that loves you and accepts you.
For the love of a man who never gave a fuck about you.
He used you to try and help his family, his son.
” Alden turns his back on me, walking away.
I try to stand but the weight of my actions holds me down. I sit on the ground, demolished. I struggle to see inches in front of me, to find my balance. My knees buckling, and I hit the ground again. The hole in my chest is something I’ve created on my own.
Please, help me out of this hell. I fist my hair, screaming. Praying I can rid myself of the pure, unadulterated hatred I feel. In my darkest moment, his arms are around me, carrying me to higher ground. His whispers, comforting me, helping me to breathe.
“Baby, it’s okay. Calm down.”
I nuzzle into him, finding peace in the ruins of my soul. “I’m so sorry.” I peek from under my swollen eyes, not capable of seeing his face.
“No, baby. You’re all right.” I feel the bed shift, laying me down with care. Love.
I wake early the next morning, drenched in sweat. My hair is stuck to my face, and tissues are everywhere. My head feels as though I’ve butted it against a wall a thousand times. It’s so bad, my hair hurts. I scoot to the edge of the bed, easing from it. The need to pee is forever present.
I wander through my apartment, flipping lights on as I go. Stopping by the bathroom, I find a wet washcloth on the sink. I don’t even remember getting it. I walk into the kitchen, opening the fridge for something cold. It’s full. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice before.
Walker.
He’s taken care of me all these weeks. I’ve been running from him, but he’s been right here. I step back, falling into the chair when I realize he was here last night. After the pain I caused him, he was here. Wiping my tears and taking care of me.
I can’t live without him. I’ve pushed him away so many ways, but he stands strong. He was right. He said he wouldn’t leave me. I wrecked my life, hoping to find the love I’ve searched for so long, only to find it where I left it.
“Will he forgive me?”
I grab my phone, checking the time. Six in the morning. I hesitate for a second but type the text anyway.
I need to talk.
Come on over.
I wash my face and I’m out the door. I have to fix the mess I’ve made. But first, I need to figure me out. I can’t think of a better person to talk to about it. Twenty minutes later, I pull up to the front door. It opens, and my heart strikes a simple beat. Of one I don’t deserve. Hope.
“Come in.” The smile warms my heart.
“Thank you, Ava.” I step through the door.
Riley plods down the stairs. “Good morning, Reese.” He nods at me with a smile. I’m stunned.
“How?” They turn to me, brows raised. “How can you be so civil to me?”
“Walker loves you.” Riley shrugs. “We love you.”
“You’re family,” Ava replies, wrapping her arm around Riley’s waist.
He inclines his head toward Ava. “That, too.” He turns, kissing her. “I’ll call you later. Love you.”
“I love you.” She holds him a little longer before releasing him.
He stops at my side, taking my hand. “Trust his love for you and your love for him.” He squeezes it and roams away.
I’m already crying by the time I turn back to Ava. I tremble. The air rushes from my lungs. “Why?”
“I should ask you the same thing, but I think I know why you did what you did. As for us, this family fights hard but by God, we love so much harder. We had to fight for this, Reese. It wasn’t given to any of us.
We’ve made mistakes, had trials and the mountains we’ve climbed made us who we are as a family.
” She leans against the counter, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I can’t comprehend why he would come to me yesterday. After the hurt I’ve caused.”
She shrugs. “For the same reason you went yesterday. A promise.”
I sit on the stool across from her. “I’m not following.”
“He promised you he’d take care of you, that he would love you.” I nod. “You promised your dad you’d represent your stepbrother. A promise is just that, Reese.”
“I’m not even sure why I did it.” I dry my face. “He never acknowledged me my entire life and the minute he asked me to do something, I did it.”
“I didn’t know my parents. I was young when they died.” She comes around the island to sit beside me. “I spent years trying to find love and acceptance in all of the wrong places.”
I snort. “Maybe we are sisters after all.”
“Reese, it’s okay if you want your dad’s love and approval. We all understand that, even Walker.” She runs her hand up and down my back.
“There are things Walker shared with me and I’m not sure he’ll be as understanding. Ava, I didn’t help him. I was there to sit in for my dad. That’s it. I would never help that monster.” The sharp pang in my stomach makes me nauseous.
“You really need to talk to Walker.” I narrow my eyes. “He told us you encouraged him to talk about things. He said you helped him with Sallie’s death.”
My mouth hangs. “He told you about it?”
“Talk to him. We had a horrible time getting him to leave you last night. His heart hurt so badly for you.” She knocks a tear away.
I gasp. “I knew in my heart, Walker was there with me.” I jump from my seat. “I’ve got to fix this.”
She stands, her smile growing wider. “You do.”
I hug her before making a mad dash to the door, sending a silent prayer that he’ll have me.