Love #2
“And he was not angry when he did it.” The words thinner now, like they were scraping against something raw on the way out.
“That was the worst part.” Her throat tightened hard enough that she had to force the next breath in.
“The only time I ever saw him happy… truly happy… was when he thought she was alive again. When he was violating me.”
Declan’s expression changed instantly. Something horrified flashed across his face before he forced it back down. His hand curled hard against the table, tendons pulling tight beneath the skin like he was physically restraining himself from reacting too quickly, too violently.
Riley kept looking at him because she had already crossed the point of retreat. There was nowhere softer to place the truth now.
“That is what made it so difficult to understand,” she continued, her voice fraying slightly at the edges. “Love. Wanting people. The idea that someone could care for you without eventually turning that closeness into something harmful.”
Her breath broke unevenly. Riley’s eyes burned, her vision beginning to blur again, but she didn’t look away from him. Couldn’t.
“I left on my eighteenth birthday,” she said, quieter now. “I packed a bag the night before and waited until midnight because I needed it to be legal first.”
Declan looked wrecked by the time she finished, devastated in a way that looked almost unbearable to hold. Anger sat underneath it too, dense and dangerous, directed entirely at the man who had taught her to associate love with fear before she had ever been given the chance to learn otherwise.
“When I met Dee,” Riley said softly, “she was the first person who kept choosing me without having to.” A small, disbelieving breath left her. “And I never really understood why.”
Her gaze dropped briefly before lifting back to his.
“So when I met you, I didn’t let myself believe it could last.” Her throat tightened slightly. “The contract made sense to me because it had an ending. That felt safer than believing you might actually want me after it was over.”
She swallowed hard. “I think part of me already believed people could only love me temporarily.” Her voice grew thinner around the edges now, more exposed. “And when things between us became real, I panicked, because I didn’t know how to trust something I was already convinced I’d lose.”
A tear slipped free before she could stop it.
“I’m only just starting to understand that maybe I’m allowed to be loved at all,” she admitted quietly. “That someone can know everything about me and still stay.”
Her breathing shook slightly. “And I’m sorry,” she whispered. “For deciding for you, for leaving before you had the chance to.”
The silence afterwards felt enormous. Declan looked at her like she had just handed him something fragile enough to break in his hands.
His jaw tightened sharply. One hand dragged over the back of his neck, slower this time, his composure visibly slipping around the edges as he tried to breathe through the weight of it.
“I…” The word caught and collapsed before it could become anything usable.
Riley felt the shift instantly. Her shoulders drew inward on instinct, fingers curling faintly against her lap as something old and automatic tried to take hold. Retreat, distance. Fix it before it became harmful.
Declan swore quietly under his breath, the sound rough with frustration. Not at her. At himself. He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, eyes dropping briefly as if he was trying to get control of something that had already gone too far to contain. Then, abruptly, he pushed back from the chair.
Riley’s breath caught. He crossed the space between them in two quick steps and lowered himself in front of her before she could fully process it, dropping to his knees, like the idea of standing any further away from her had become impossible.
“Declan—”
His hands settled carefully over hers, warm and steady despite the tension still visible through him. Up close, she could see it fully now: the tightness in his jaw, the emotion sitting raw behind his eyes, the shine of tears he wasn’t even trying to hide anymore.
He looked devastated for her. “Riles.”
The nickname shattered something open inside her.
Tears spilled over immediately, fast enough that she couldn’t stop them even if she wanted to. Because it wasn’t just the word, it was him. The way he said it like she was still his, like she hadn’t ruined this beyond repair.
Declan’s thumbs brushed shakily across her knuckles. “Hey,” he said softly, voice rough but steady. “I’m not angry at you.”
The words made Riley’s breath catch all over again.
“Jesus, Riley…” he exhaled, sounding wrecked by it. “I’m fucking gutted for you.”
His eyes shone suddenly, emotion breaking visibly through the restraint he’d been trying so hard to hold onto. Riley watched his throat work hard once before he looked back at her fully.
“The way you grew up, what he did to you…” His jaw tightened sharply. “That should never have happened. Not once. Not ever.” Anger flickered briefly across his face before softening back into hurt. “Someone should’ve stepped in.”
A tear slipped free down Riley’s cheek. Declan saw it. His hand lifted instinctively, slow enough to give her time to pull away if she wanted to. When she didn’t, his thumb brushed gently beneath her eye, wiping the tear from her skin with a tenderness that nearly undid her completely.
“But I get it now,” he said more quietly, his hand lingering lightly against her face. “Why you left. Why you ran.” A small shake of his head. “You weren’t weak, Riles. You were surviving.”
Something in her chest cracked wider at that.
“And the fact you just told me all of this…” His voice roughened again. “I know what that cost you.” His eyes burned slightly now too, tears gathering there without him trying to hide them. “I’m not taking that lightly.”
Riley’s tears kept falling unchecked.
“Of course I forgive you,” he said immediately, almost frustrated she’d thought otherwise. His fingers curled more tightly around hers. “You were a kid trying to survive something horrific. I’m never going to hold that against you.”
The words landed somewhere deep enough to leave her almost dizzy. Declan exhaled shakily, emotion sitting openly across his face now.
“But I won’t lie and say losing you didn’t hurt like hell.”
Riley stayed perfectly still.
“I didn’t chase you because I knew you needed space,” he admitted. “And I knew if I pushed too hard, you’d disappear completely.” His gaze held hers. “But not knowing if you were ever coming back…”
He stopped briefly, swallowing hard. “I’ve never cared about someone enough for it to hurt like that before.”
A faint, tired smile touched the corner of his mouth. “And I know I’m not exactly built for this kind of speech.” Another small pause. “You’re definitely not built for dramatic declarations either.”
Under any other circumstance, Riley thought she might have smiled. Declan looked at her like nothing else in the room existed.
“But I don’t think I get to avoid saying something just because it scares me.” The room felt impossibly still.
“I’m in love with you, Riley Lorrent.”
The words weren’t grand or polished, but they were the most beautiful words Riley Lorrent had and would ever hear.
“I was falling in love with you long before any of this got messy. Before you left.” His thumb moved slowly across her knuckles. “And I’m not saying it because I expect you to say it back. I just think you deserve to know what it is I’m choosing.”
His gaze never left hers. “I love the way your brain works, even when you drive me insane with it.” A soft breath of amusement escaped him. “I love the way you notice things no one else does. The way you mean every single thing you say.”
Riley’s throat tightened painfully. “And when you trust someone…” He shook his head slightly. “You give them your entire heart and soul, which I know is hard for you.”
His fingers threaded more firmly through hers. “I love that you challenge me. That you don’t just tell people what they want to hear because it’s easier.” His expression softened. “Most people back down from me eventually, you never do.”
Emotion caught unevenly in his throat before he pushed through it. “And I love that you keep trying,” he said quietly. “Even when everything overwhelms you, even when disappearing would probably feel easier.”
Riley felt herself beginning to come apart at the edges. “I don’t need the polished version of you,” he continued softly. “I don’t need you calm all the time or perfectly put together. I want you when it’s hard too.”
Every word felt deliberately chosen.