Chapter 32
Reign
“Goodnight, Princess.”
Ryder slips into his room just as I’m getting to my door. I wait until I’m inside and the door is shut before I exhale the weighted breath I had been holding since we were back at the glittering waterfall.
As I watch my dress fall to the floor, I’m transported back to the moment the two of us stood underneath the falling stream of stars.
For a second there, I thought he might kiss me.
I’m not even sure why I thought that. I mean, it’s not like he sees me as one of those girls he shares a bed with outside of the realms. If anything, he probably sees me as a charity case.
Just another one of his father’s victims he needs to save.
Would I even have let him kiss me if he had tried? I can think of worse ways to spend my time, but I couldn’t do that. The man is insufferable. He always thinks he knows best and is cocky and completely emotionally unavailable. Damaged goods that might be too far beyond repair thanks to his father.
Besides, there’s Damien. I love him. Despite everything we’ve been through, I know I do.
What does any of it matter, anyway? It’s not like I’m a prize at the moment.
I’m a complete mess myself. I just found out my father is gone, I came back from the dead all of five minutes ago, I’m an immortal being no one seems to know anything about, I just found out my parents weren’t even my real parents, and we’re on the cusp of a war.
The last thing I should even be thinking about is boys.
There are far more important things that need my attention.
Ryder’s love life is none of my concern.
And as for Damien, the two of us have no business getting back together right now.
Both of us just died and came back to life.
That’s not normal. I mean, he doesn’t even know I’m a phoenix.
And what does that even mean? That I’ll always be reborn again?
The thought of immortality is too much to even wrap my head around.
For now, I just need to focus on getting my own life in order.
That means finding out more about what I am, learning how to use these wings of mine, finding a way to get Kane to the Shadow Lands, and helping the rebellion any way I can.
Plus, swearing off dangerously attractive men who will only complicate my life further.
By the time morning rolls around, I feel refreshed.
I have a game plan, and I’m sticking with it.
Amaya may not agree, but it’s not her life.
“Live a little, Reign. Taste them both,” she had said to me earlier this morning when she slipped into my bed.
Maybe being away from Zane for too long has made her feel the need to live vicariously through me.
Either way, the carefree, don’t-think-just-do person is her, not me.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take my advice? I mean, just look at the two of them,” she whispers when the rest join us at breakfast.
“Shush. They’re going to hear you,” I warn with a glare.
“Just sayin. I thought the new Reign wanted to do things differently.” She throws up her hands and grabs her plate to go refill it as the others sit down around the table we ate at last night.
“How’d everyone sleep?” Danielle asks in a much too energetic tone for the morning.
“Like a baby,” Damien answers with a sweet smile that shows his dimple.
I wonder what the two of them talked about last night.
Does she know that we aren’t together? What did he even say about me in his letters to her?
Did he leave out the part about him practically handing me over to the king to be tortured?
The feeling of resentment rises, and with it, I no longer see the man I love sitting across from me.
Instead, I see the corrupted version of him who stood by the king’s side while I was dragged from my cell to be whipped and worse.
Without a thought, I get up and walk out onto the balcony, needing some fresh air.
The view from up here is the perfect distraction.
At night it was hard to see anything but the moonlit sea, but in the morning sun, it’s a whole new world.
The white, dome-shaped buildings contrast against the dark blue water in the distance.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
I didn’t hear Ryder approach, and my heart jumps a little at the sound of his voice.
“It’s amazing,” I answer, looking out to avoid eye contact. “I can’t wait to see it from the ship’s point of view.” He leans up against the railing so that he’s facing me instead of the breathtaking view. “What?” I finally ask when he doesn’t stop staring at me.
He lowers his head a bit closer to me and says, “I don’t want anyone knowing what you are.
” My eyes dart to him. “I may trust them to join our fight, but I don’t trust them enough to know about you.
People are unpredictable when it comes to the unknown.
They may see a lack of information as a threat. Do you understand?”
I nod. It’s something I’ve thought about myself.
There’s a risk in people knowing. I’m sure there are whispers around the Shadow Lands, but these aren’t our people, and although dinner went well last night, we still don’t know enough about them.
For all we know, they could turn around and sell my secret to King Cimmerian in exchange for something else they want.
I mean, they don’t seem like the type, especially with all that King Cimmerian has done to them, but you just never know.
Besides, the days of me blindly trusting men are over.
“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Nio says next to me.
“She’s magnificent.”
Everything about the ship in front of us is beyond anything I’ve read about in books. To have just one is impressive, and yet they have fifteen. An entire fleet of polished black ships carved with the face of a sea creature in front to let everyone know who is coming their way.
“Ladies first.” Ion offers his hand for support as I follow Danielle onto the wooden platform leading up to the ship’s interior.
“I can’t believe we actually get to do this today!” Amaya squeals from behind me. “We’ve certainly come a long way from The House of Waif.”
We certainly have. It feels like a lifetime ago that we were sharing the small room with the rickety table.
I suppose for me it really was a lifetime ago.
So much has changed since then. It’s hard to believe it’s been less than three years since we left.
I never could’ve imagined this is where I would’ve ended up.
Once we’ve reached the main deck of the ship, I’m able to see just how massive it really is. The black sails above that don their insignia, puff out with the wind, and the back of the ship separates into three higher levels.
“Why black?” I ask Nio when he joins me at the front.
“So that we blend in with the night. Black is less visible to our enemies. We don’t want them to know we’re coming until it’s too late.”
“Makes sense. I guess I don’t know much about your territories’ history.”
“We’ve had to fight for our peace and independence, but as you can see, we don’t often lose.” His words and the cocky smirk spreading across his face remind me of another leader I know.
“Tell me more about the islands,” I insist.
The ship starts to creak as it parts with the port we just came from. The slight swaying motion is not enough to make me lose my balance, and I’m thankful for it. I guess that’s due to its enormous size, or maybe just because we haven’t really got going yet.
“We have two main islands and several smaller surrounding ones. This one of course,” he points to the land, “is Zentria. It’s the central island and is by far the biggest. Then we have Illarium, and uninhabited smaller ones scattered about for protection.
My brothers and I rule them together, but we have designated ourselves each to a territory, so that nothing slips through the cracks.
Vessar is the mainland, which is mine, Ion has Zentria, and Zaro is with Illarium.
They’re all equally important, but this allows us to keep order.
Over in Vessar, we do a lot of the fishing, and it’s also home to the Caves of Kandor.
Illarium is mostly military and weaponry, and Zentria is the heart of it all. ”
Hearing him mention the caves sends a shockwave of guilt straight through my core.
I didn’t put two and two together — that the caves belonged to them.
Now I feel like I’ve stolen what was theirs.
Do they even know the piece of the Verenite Stone is missing?
Is that what their wards were meant to protect?
If I tell him we have it, they will never align themselves with us, but keeping it from him feels like something King Cimmerian would do.
That thought alone makes me want to hurl my breakfast over the edge of the ship.
The only thing comforting me is that it felt like the stone chose me.
Maybe that’s just me trying to convince myself I’m nothing like the king, but even before, it felt like it had shown itself to me.
Almost as if it wanted me to have it. Saying that out loud would sound ridiculous to anyone, but in my heart of hearts, it feels undeniably true.
“Very impressive. What’s it like ruling with your brothers?” It’s all I can say to keep myself from blurting out my secret betrayal.
“Oh, it has its challenges for sure.” He lets out a laugh. “But I can’t imagine it any other way. Family is everything to us.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I reply with a genuine smile that he mirrors.
“And what about you, Miss Reign? Ryder brought you along for a reason. Your opinion must matter to him.”
“I think this is just his way of trying to make something up to me,” I answer honestly. “He did something that he can’t take back, and I think bringing me with him is his way of showing me he wants to be better.”
“Oh.” He takes a small step back, turning his body to face me. “You two were together?”