Chapter 35
Ryder
“Come in.”
I don’t bother lifting my head to see who’s disrupting my alone time. Instead, I remain focused on the sprawled maps in front of me.
“What are all these?” I recognize Damien’s voice as his body casts a shadow over the lands I’m trying to examine.
“What do you want, Delecroix?” He seems on edge from my harsh tone, but his feelings aren’t a priority of mine and he’s interrupting my peace.
“There’s something I wanted to run by you. I’ve thought about it for weeks now, and I want to go extract Kane.” My head snaps up to find him standing like a soldier waiting for my order.
“The realms are on lockdown. No one is getting in or out.”
“I can,” he quickly insists, pulling his shoulders back slightly. “I’ll convince those at the border that I was taken as a prisoner but escaped. They won’t know any better.”
“It’s too risky.” I shake my head dismissively and turn my attention back to the faded maps.
“Please!” His hands slap against the table and a breath later, I have him pinned against the wall with my forearm.
“Watch yourself,” I warn with a low growl that makes him lean his head back.
“I have to do this! For her.” Pain flashes across his face and I release him, taking a step back.
“There will be no one to save you from my father this time.”
“I know that. I’ll go alone and if the worst happens then I accept my fate. But I have to at least try. I owe her that much.”
I could deny his request. I could stop him from risking his life, but it’s his choice to make.
I know what it feels like to carry the weight of disappointing her.
She’ll hate him for going and she’ll hate me for allowing it.
But I promised her I would be better and allowing him to make this decision for himself is the start of that.
Maybe now she’ll understand why I didn’t want her in the Throne Room the day of the attack.
“You can go in two days. Once you cross the threshold into the realms, I won’t be able to help you.”
“Thank you,” he nods before rushing out of the room like he’s worried I’ll change my mind if he stays any longer.
“You’re really sending him to Strellesia?” Artemus asks in his judgmental tone that I loathe.
“It was his decision.”
“You don’t really think he’ll make it back here alive, though. Do you?”
I turn to him and immediately see the invisible wheels turning in his head. “Are you asking me if I agreed to it as a way of getting rid of him?”
Artemus shrugs before turning around to look out the window. “It wouldn’t be the most inconvenient thing for you.”
“What exactly are you getting at?”
He turns back around, waving his hands in the air as he speaks. “I’m just saying that a certain someone might look at you differently if her ex-dragon lover was no longer in the picture.”
“If you’re insinuating that I’ve simply agreed to this rescue mission as a way of clearing the board, you’re wrong.”
“Perhaps. Though, I suppose it would just be a bonus if he didn’t come back.”
“If he doesn’t come back, then neither does Kane, and that outcome will only destroy her.”
“I know,” Artemus admits, lowering his head. “She’s lost too much already.”
“She has. Which is why he has to come back. Whether or not I want him here doesn’t matter. And for your information, I don’t need to clear the board because I’m not playing.”
“We’ll see how long that last,” he mumbles under his breath before slipping out of the room.
First Amaya and now him? I’ve kept my distance and so has she.
It’s clear that whatever feelings I may have for her are one sided.
She’s barely even looked at me since returning from the Infinite Sea Territories.
Whatever is going on between her and Damien has nothing to do with me and I plan on keeping it that way.
A knock on the door pulls my attention, and it’s as if the universe is laughing at me.
“Hey,” she says softly, pushing the door open.
I attempt to speak but have to clear my throat first. “What can I do for you?”
Her hair is pulled into a high, messy ponytail that shows off her neck in a way that brings inappropriate thoughts rushing to the surface. I have to draw my gaze out the window in order to silence the thoughts threatening to plague my mind.
“I wanted to see if you would help me learn how to fly.” I can tell by her soft-spoken words that she’s swallowing her pride.
“Emeric not cutting it?” I tease, turning back around so I can see her annoyed expression.
“Turns out that dragon wings are a lot different from phoenix wings,” she admits as she idly straightens a stack of papers on the desk between us.
“The building-sized wings attached to a monstrous beast didn’t give it away for ya?”
She throws her hands into the air. “What do you want me to do? Beg?”
“Now there’s an idea,” I hiss with a sinister grin I know she wants to send a fireball at.
This is the most we’ve talked in two months, and it feels good to return to our usual playful banter. Despite the daggers she’s glaring at me, I know she misses this, too. It’s who we are. No matter how much we try to fight it.
“Fine,” I exhale. “I guess I’ll settle for a ‘pretty please, King Ryder?’”
“You’re joking…”
I shake my head obnoxiously. “Nope. So, what’s it gonna be?”
She picks up the thick stack of papers and taps them on the desk, lining them all up. “Pretty please, King Ryder?”
Her tone seeps with disdain and mockery—just how I like it.
I’m just about to boast about it when she tosses the bundle of papers into the air, letting them fall like snow behind her as she walks out of the room.
Her wicked smirk flashes in my mind as I watch the hundred or so sheets of parchment rain down around me.
And just like that, I’m following after the girl who has no idea the power she holds over me.
“Don’t laugh!” she lectures as she brushes the charcoal dirt off her knees.
“I’m sorry,” I offer with a raised hand. “I just—I didn’t realize someone could flail around so much in such a short fall.”
She glowers at me as she shakes out her body like a cub determined to land its first kill. Her resolve to perfect everything she does is both endearing and inspiring. No matter how much life knocks her down, she stands back up every time. Figuratively and literally.
“Are you done?” Her hand is on her hip as her impatience with me grows.
“Alright,” I start as I close the distance between us. “Right now, you’re focused on the mechanics of flying.”
“Yeah, isn’t that kind of the point?”
“Maybe it was before when you were learning how to connect with your wings, but now it’s just making you overthink everything.” I reach for her hand and flip it over. “Form your Elemental Sphere.”
“Why?”
“Just do it. I’m making a point.” She huffs but a second later she’s holding her perfectly formed ball of swirling flames. “How did you do it?”
“What do you mean? I don’t know. I just did it.”
“Exactly. You didn’t think about how to do it, you just let your body and your power take over.
” I take a step back, letting my own wings flare behind me.
“Don’t think about the invisible string connecting your wings to your wrists, or how the wind feels pressed against them in the air.
Instead, think about your fire. Think about how you feel the most alive when you’re free from the restraints you’ve grown so used to keeping on your power.
Just focus on being the trustiest version of yourself and the rest will come naturally. ”
She takes a deep breath and releases it, closing her eyes. I know better than to stand too close, so I retreat several steps, giving her the space she needs.
“Say something,” she tells me with her eyes still shut. “Anything.”
“Feel the heat of your wings radiating behind you. Feel the prickle of power underneath your skin. Focus on the flickering flame in your heart, wild yet tamed.”
Her body levitates a few feet off the ground as her enormous wings fold around her like a built-in shield meant to protect her.
Flames lick the edges of the glowing hot feathers almost putting me in a trance.
It’s like looking at a fire dancing in the dark.
You want to look away, but you can’t help getting lost in its dangerous beauty.
A harsh gust of intense heat has me throwing up my shadows.
When I draw them back, I see her. In her truest form.
A fury of undeniable power. Her wings pulse, keeping her in place as her fiery hair floats around her, no longer held captive by a hair tie.
It’s only the second time I’ve seen her in her full phoenix and she’s just as mesmerizing as the first time.
When her sun-like eyes fly open, they immediately fall to her body. She holds her arms out in front of her, twisting them as she examines her new appearance. Her eyes dart from one place to the other, eventually landing on me.
“I’m—”
“A phoenix.”
The image of her smiling as she moves her wings back and forth is one that will forever be imprinted on my heart.
Childlike giggles escape her as she begins moving through the sky.
A trail of fire lingers behind her as she climbs higher and higher.
There’s no fear or hesitation as she spins and dips, commanding her wings effortlessly.
In this moment, she’s everything she was always meant to be. Free and unyielding.
A bird without a cage.
A girl without shackles.
I’m not sure how long I watch her soar through the empty grey sky, painting it with streaks of fire.
It feels like forever and yet not long enough.
When she lands, the ground quakes with her power and it’s as if the earth is her pedestal.
The fiery armor she wears as her skin, fades, leaving only the girl with deep crimson curls standing in front of me.
Both versions of her beautiful. Both versions of her dangerous.
And both versions of her I will spend my life memorizing by heart.
“That was amazing!” She covers her mouth with both hands to suppress the squeals trying to escape.
“I mean,” she says breathlessly out of exhilaration.
“I had no idea it would feel that good! It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced!
I just did it. I didn’t think about it like you said! It felt so natural.”
“You were incredible.”
Her giddiness suddenly falls away and the wind almost stills as if waiting for her to speak.
“I want to see the Oracle again.” Out of all of the things I thought she might say in this moment, that wasn’t even on the list. “I need answers about who I am or what I am. We’ve scoured the library and asked the masses, but there’s been nothing.
The only information I’ve gotten is from the Oracle, so I want to go back. ”
“It’s not that simple,” I begin cautiously. “The Oracle has a price for such information. We have no idea what kind of payment will be expected.”
“I know but I’m willing to at least find out what that price is.” She steps closer to me, looking up at me with pleading eyes that make me want to give her the world. “Please, Ryder. I need to know.”
“Portals can be unpredictable. When we entered last time, we had the blood tie. This time will be different.”
“Then just take me to the portal and I’ll go alone.”
I shake my head at her absurdness. “Where you go, I go. Just give me a couple of days to pinpoint the exact location of the portal so we aren’t wandering through the Dread Woods again, okay?”
“Thank you!” She wraps her arms around my neck but quickly removes them before I have the chance to embrace her.