37. Chapter 33
Chapter 33
Raven
I had no way to tell Lusa Kassimi that I would be alone in Caelan’s tent after the Hunt began, but I didn’t have to. She had a way of knowing things. It was a necessary skill for a woman who held onto her territory by convincing an emperor that she was not a rebel like her mother, when in fact she was a leader in the Coterie organizing the Revival.
After a negotiation with the emperor that was still gossiped about, Lusa had retained possession of The Pass. Ten cycles later, she bought me from Eymen and brought me secretly to her castle in the cold north. She taught me history and geography and courtly manners. She told me everything she’d ever heard about my father, information that I devoured with an endless hunger. She taught me to seduce men and women to my bed, and please them once there. She taught me to listen. She taught me that I was a tool fashioned by the gods for the purposes of rebellion. She was my first glimpse of a world outside the Emperor's Dungeon and my first opportunity to understand the dark desires inside myself.
“They come from your mother, Cassandra Cythera,” she’d taught me. “Do you know her house words?”
“Unbroken.”
“That’s right.” Her fingers had drifted along the naked skin of my stomach in reward, making me shiver. “That which bends does not easily break, and what looks like weakness to some may in fact be strength. Your mother knelt for your father, but they say it was his devotion to her that drove his direction. You will find, little bird, that power such as you have inside you—the power to endure— will make you a match for even the strongest foes. For so long as you can endure, you cannot be defeated.”
When Caelan left me for the Hunt, I knew she would come. I was dressed and ready when the tent flap pulled back and she sauntered in with Katjuk a reliable step behind.
Instantly I was on my feet, turning to face her, armoring up my mind. Every conversation with Lusa was a sparring session, too.
“The guard,” I said. There must be one at the door, though I wasn’t sure if it was Baris or another man. Caelan had only just left me moments before and I hadn’t peeked out yet to assess whether escape was viable. At least he hadn’t chained me.
“The one at the door supports our cause,” Lusa said. She was not a whisperer by nature, but she lowered her voice now. “Take off that dress.”
Surely she couldn’t mean Baris. He would’ve gone with Caelan on the Hunt. I’d have to steal a glimpse at the guard before he changed.
“Why?” I asked, though my fingers moved immediately to obey. Was it habit or only wisdom that made me obey her without question, even after all this time? “How many cycles since we’ve seen each other? Would you pick up right where we left off?”
“There is never any going back,” said Lady Kassimi, though she was stripping off her outer layers, too. She was dressed to hunt, with a short skirt over pants and a thick tunic that would not allow the razor grasses of the prairie to scratch her. Her hair was braided and tucked beneath a hat. “If anyone comes in, it must look as if I’ve come to sample the prince’s new little whore.”
“That’s treason,” I reminded her. “You would use an offense they might behead you for to hide your true motives?”
“Is there any better one to use? Nobody ever thinks to look beneath a small treason for the larger one.” She stood with her breasts revealed and her legs fully covered. Katjuk did not have the restraint to avoid looking at her, though he must’ve seen her small, compact body a thousand times. His eyes devoured her and then circled the tent, a constant rotation that ensured Lusa was protected even as he drank in the sight of her.
I was naked entirely, except for my collar. The little bit Caelan had given me to wear hadn’t taken much to come off.
Lusa smirked at the marks that were fading to pinks and yellows. “A step closer,” she said.
I closed the gap between us until I could smell the scent of her perfume. It was made of lavender plants that grew only in the cold of the north. She smelled fresh as a waterfall.
“Good girl,” she said softly. “Now, tell me. And hurry. I’m expected to hunt.”
I took a deep breath. Being with Lusa had always made me feel as though I were spinning. The effect was even stronger today, after so long an absence from her. I kept imagining Caelan’s face and wondering what he’d do if he came in.
“Asherah hatched in the Firecaps. She moves this direction, but slowly. A group of Losians has joined her, but the emperor sent men of his own to intercept them and kill her.”
“Has she Bonded?”
“No. She seems to seek Tanead Tajawl, who is currently being held in the Emperor’s Dungeon.”
“Perfect timing for his capture, then,” Lusa said.
I didn’t comment on my own role in that timing. “You don’t wish to see the dragons reborn?”
“Does any loyal citizen of Vaharilar?” I didn’t think the outrage in her voice was faked. That she considered herself loyal to Vaharilar was one of the complexities of Lusa’s character. She’d rather have the Havards on the throne than any demon. But better than the Havards—herself.
“Prince Caelan. He’s yours?”
I hesitated. “Not yet,” I admitted. “He doesn't trust me.”
“Why not?”
Because I tried to kill him when we met. Because I spat my hatred of Slayers at him. I could not say this to Lusa. She would only be disappointed in me. She’d trained me better in the art of subterfuge than that, she’d say sourly. If I were still a girl in her household, a hidden secret who came out only at night to be trained, she would punish me. But we stood in the prince’s tent now, in broad daylight, with guards only steps away. Times had changed.
“He’s seen my tattoo,” I said instead, the accusation lingering unspoken between us. She had been the one to secure the artist who inked it. “He knows what it means.”
“He knows who you are?” This question came fevered, almost rushed.
“No. Only that I’m loyal to the Revival."
She scoffed. “Then why claim you?”
I met her eyes and saw her jolt for just a moment as my electric gaze touched her. She’d forgotten the eerie power of my emerald eyes in our cycles apart. “You know why.”
A cocky smile crept up her face as she remembered. “Yes. So it’s true then that he’s a Slayer, through and through? There are rumors he’s practically a eunuch.”
I considered my answer carefully. I’d thought at first that I understood Caelan, but there was more hiding in his depths than he showed. Slowly we removed each other’s layers like clothes. “He enjoys causing pain. Humiliating me. Making me service him. It arouses him very much. But he doesn’t enjoy cruelty, especially in battle. It doesn’t bring him pleasure to slaughter innocent women and children. He treats people with respect. In some ways I think he’s very different from the rest of them.”
“Raven Rosa,” Lusa said sharply, “where is the hatred that has consumed you since your father was executed? I hear nothing of it now. Has your time amongst the demons made you weak? Or is it your time with the Slayer prince that has softened your resolve?”
Fury flared up in me. “My resolve is fine,” I said, slightly louder than I intended. “My hatred burns with as bright a flame as ever.”
Lusa leaned in, reminding me to lower my voice by lowering hers even more. Her nipple brushed me and I was surrounded by the scent of waterfalls. “Then tell me something that will split the Slayers asunder. Tell me something we can use.”
I didn’t hesitate this time, my old hatred brought to the surface. My blood boiled with it. My collar suddenly felt too tight around my neck.
“He’s an altayr,” I told Lusa.
Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Excitedly, she glanced at Katjuk, whose delight mirrored her own. “Truly? How has he hidden it?”
“I don’t know. I believe he’s close with the Imperial Falconer. The man may have trained him. But so far as I can tell, no others know. Not even his closest friends and guards.”
Lusa’s smile exposed all her white teeth. “Oh, Raven,” she cooed. “This is very good news. You’re sure? You’re quite sure?”
“I saw him call his eagle down to scratch out Tanead’s eyes, just as Calathan the Conqueror's bird did to Archeon.”
“You saw this and he let you live?”
“Yes. As I told you, he’s…well, he’s no killer. Not really. He could’ve killed me and didn’t.”
Lusa searched me as if the answer to Caelan’s strange behavior was printed on my skin. “No. Instead he claimed you. They say it was to keep you from his brother. They say Caelan and his brother quarreled at Archeon.”
I nodded. “Over me. To keep me, Caelan swore his brother a life debt.”
Her thick, dark eyebrows nearly rose off her face. “Oh, Raven,” she purred. “He may not trust you, but you’ve sunk your teeth deep into his neck, haven’t you?” Her fingertips brushed her lips; she always did that when she was thinking. “I heard Tanead’s capture was credited to Amon.”
“It was. But it was Caelan who captured him in the Broken Realm. At the Fortress of Archeon’s Last Breath, Tanead almost escaped and Amon found him first.”
“Now Amon gets all the credit for Caelan’s work.”
“Yes.”
Voices drifted towards us from outside the tent. A pair of men, walking close.
Lusa tugged me close to her. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, burying her face in my neck. She planted a wet kiss there, then said, in the quietest whisper of all, “A prince pledged his life to a dangerous man to keep you, Raven. Don’t underestimate your power. Use it. Strengthen it. You know his greatest secret. Don’t waste the opportunity you’ve been given.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “I want to kill the emperor. I’m so close to him. Perfectly positioned. I’m looking for an opportunity—”
Lusa laughed, though she kept it low. She pulled away and began to gather up her clothes and slip them on. “Oh Raven, you always were so naive. Do you think we don't have whores in the palace underworld? Do you think I haven’t kissed the emperor’s hand myself? I’ve had private audiences with the man. You’re no closer to the emperor than many have been before.”
My heart dropped to my feet, hope draining from me as her words collided with my childish dream and shattered it. I’d come all the way to Havard hoping to kill the emperor, but I should have known when I held that dagger to Caelan’s throat that my plan was no plan at all.
"Then why haven't you?" I demanded.
Lusa caught sight of my crestfallen face. She dipped close again and touched her small palm to my burning cheek. “Don’t fret, little bird. The time is not yet right. Too soon and we only create a vacuum that Amon would fill. That's where you can be useful. You have already delivered secrets that no other agent before you has found out. There will be more, I’m sure of it. Just get Caelan to trust you. In any way you can…”
Her eyes dropped to my collar, then caressed my naked body in a reminder of the sessions she’d once called ‘training.’
“I won’t let you down,” I promised.
Lusa slipped from the tent and Katjuk behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Had I overlooked the significance of Caelan’s vow to his brother? I hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but Lusa was right. Caelan hated his brother, and yet he’d made a vow he must abhor to keep me safe. It said a lot. But was he motivated only by his cock?
I dressed and went to the flap to peer out. A man I didn’t know guarded the door. I memorized his features as I casually announced I would like to go for a walk. He put his hand on his sword and glowered, denying me. I sighed. He might be loyal to the Revival, but he wasn't going to disobey Caelan. I glanced around camp. There were only servants and ladies left anyway. A whole day with nothing to do stretched before me.
I had to fill it with something.
I brushed my thigh with gentle fingers and my body came to life, desire pulsing urgently in my core. I’d had no time alone since I'd played with Caelan. I was too embarrassed to pleasure myself on the floor while he slept. Now I snuck to his bed, feeling naughty as I sank into the soft feather mattress.
I told myself it was Lusa I thought of. But I was a liar.