26. Elora
26
ELORA
I spend days in bed.
The day I came home I was picked up by a passing merchant who had recognized me right away and had delivered me to the castle safely.
Of course, the entire place had been in an uproar at my sudden return.
I was questioned endlessly by Olam and my father, among numerous other people. Then, of course, I had been scolded for my stupidity.
All of it fell on deaf ears.
I was beside myself with grief.
Most days after my return I roamed the castle like a zombie.
Courtiers shot me sorrowful glances, and whispers followed me through the corridors.
I didn’t care.
At one point I had even tried to sneak back out to the crossroads, but with the increased guard presence by the doors I was escorted back to my chamber where I cried the rest of the night.
It wasn’t anything new. All my nights were spent crying.
After Granuail lit my fire and brushed my hair, and I knew I was alone, tears fell silently. When my mind conjured images of Amon, tears fell silently.
And always, when I dreamt, amber eyes haunted me.
I could still feel him with me, and it hurt.
God did it hurt.
A lot of days I couldn’t even get out of bed and would spend the entirety buried under my covers.
If Granuial tried to force me up I would scream and cry at her to leave me. She would leave with wide worried eyes and pursed lips.
Life just wasn’t worth living to me anymore.
Today was one such day.
I had already crawled back into my bed after picking at my breakfast for over an hour.
I prayed the bed would swallow me up. That I could just cease to exist, and the pain would go away.
Of course that was too much to ask.
I was just beginning to doze off when my chamber door opened.
I glance up to see Olam standing just past the threshold wearing his riding gear.
I pull the blanket back over my head again.
“Ok, let’s go, up up up.” His gear clanks as he walks towards my bed, and the smell of leather permeates my senses.
The scent reminds me of Amon…
“Come on.” He starts again, rounding the side of my bed.
“I’ve got a surprise for you, and you need to come see it.”
I glance up at my brother over the edge of the covers, and his eyes fill with sorrow as he looks at me. I’m sure I look terrible.
I just can’t bring myself to care.
“I don’t want to.” I say flatly.
Olam pauses only for a second before jumping on top of me, poking and prodding at me through the covers.
“Are you going to get up?” he asks, poking at me again. “I can do this all day.”
I jump out of bed finally, throwing the covers off of me before spinning around to point a finger at him.
“Stop it! I’m up.”
I glare at him as he pulls himself off the bed with a grin on his face.
“Good, now get yourself pulled together. You’ve got five minutes.” He holds up a hand, fingers splayed, his eyebrows raised as he walks towards the door.
“Five.”
He closes the door with a flourish, and I’m left standing there in a rumpled nightgown.
I look down at myself, groaning.
Olam wasn’t joking. Five minutes was all I got before he was already threatening me from the other side of the door.
I donned a dark green gown, simple and comfortable.
I felt like I should’ve been wearing black.
Isn’t that what people wore when someone died?
Something inside me certainly died the day Amon sent me back.
Cringing in the mirror at the dark circles under my eyes, I tried my best to pull myself together.
I smooth my wild silver waves into a braid that hung over my shoulder, pinching my cheeks to bring some life back into them.
Sighing, I open the door to glare at my brother.
He regards me quietly, his eyes pausing on the dark circles before taking in my thin frame.
I hadn’t been eating much.
“Well?” I snap, gesturing that he take me wherever it was he was trying to take me. Olam grins and starts walking. I fall into step beside him.
“So…” he starts, “I was thinking. Since you were such an apt rider the day you left Delyra, I’ve decided to teach you how to ride.” He looks at me expectantly, but I don’t react.
My eyes don’t budge from our onward movement. “Ok.”
The response is simple, and there’s zero inflection in my voice.
I see my brother slump out of the corner of my eye, and I feel bad. I wish I could feign excitement for him, but I just can’t bring myself to care.
“Ok but wait until you see your surprise.” He says, perking back up.
He leads me through the castle and out near the stables. One of the stable boys I recognize right away holds onto the reigns of a sleek black gelding.
He’s already saddled, and I sigh as I behold the creature, grief forgotten.
“Oh Olam,” I breath, walking up to the beast. “Is he mine?”
I run my hands down the sleek neck of the horse, leaning in to rest my cheek against his coat.
“All yours.” Olam says a wide smile on his face.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes as I leave the gelding to throw my arms around my brother’s neck. He lifts me easily, laying a cheek against the top of my head.
“Thank you.” I whisper.
He holds me for a moment before patting my back and setting me back on my feet. I turn to walk back to the gelding, running my hands over its velvety coat. I coo at him, and he sticks his nose into my hair, inhaling and blowing hot air into my face.
I giggle, leaning back to kiss his nose, and he lifts his head into the air, curling his top lip upward. Olam chuckles. “Looks like you’re already friends.”
He takes a few steps backwards as another castle servant walks up with a wrapped box. I watch as he takes it, smiling gratefully. He walks up to me, pulling back the linen. I watch him open the lid, tilting the box for me to see inside.
Another sigh escapes me as I’m met with a brand-new pair of riding boots. The leather is embossed with roses, and I reach out, running my fingertips over them, my thoughts going to Amon.
Grief lances through my heart briefly, but I dash it away.
I refused to allow it to ruin this.
“Thank you, Olam.” I say with a soft smile.
The following days are filled with riding lessons. Olam is a little befuddled at my willingness to learn, and when I get thrown not one but twice, the doctors are called to look at me.
I insisted I was fine, brushing off their hands and tools.
They left, of course, scratching their heads in confusion.
I had long since chalked it up to the bond between Amon and me. His blood coursed through my veins now. It had… healed me, somehow.
I obviously chose not to tell them that, and instead took advantage of my newfound ability to do the things I couldn’t before.
All I knew was that I was healthy and able for the first time in my life.
By the end of the month Olam told me I was ready to ride on my own. His next offer was to teach me how to use a bow.
I had worried at my lower lip, wondering if I should tell him that Amon had been teaching me. That probably wasn’t a good idea, so I chose to keep my mouth shut about it.
He, of course, frowned when I was able to nock an arrow, and hit the bullseye.
All I could do was smile sheepishly.
A new bow had been fit to my specific height and weight, and I had requested that roses be engraved into the wood and embossed into the quiver.
I continued to practice every day and started getting better quickly.
Slowly, things started to feel somewhat normal again.