23. Ivy
S loan has undoubtedly become my favorite alpha. I don’t know if that’s allowed with scent matches. I never dreamed I’d have one, let alone three to contend with. But if this were a race, Sloan would be winning.
Hopefully whatever he has to say doesn’t place him in the same deceitful alpha category as the others. With so much to process, I’d prefer at least one of my mates to help guide me through it all.
I’m still at war with my feelings over Oran’s unintentional admission. I could hear how nervous he was to confront me with the information. The pain in his voice was obvious, as was his anxiety for how tightly he held me. But how was I meant to behave when I’ve been stewing in shame for the past year? I’ve dreamt of him every night, wishing my situation were different, that I could have him, Cillian, and the massive alpha whose lap I’m currently resting on. And all the while, I’ve made myself sick with guilt over such greedy thoughts.
Knowing the truth, I understand why I was drawn to each of them after so few interactions. They are mine—alphas given to me by Fate herself. One doesn’t need to examine my intense attraction too closely when our destinies were arranged in the stars.
Such a gift is beyond comprehension. Truly, I count myself lucky for being given all I’ve ever wanted: a pack of alphas to call my own. But I can’t help feeling robbed of the romance of it all.
Had they only spoken to me, my heart would not feel as though a mallet had been taken to it.
With how badly my alphas bungled this situation, I wonder if they have ever met an omega in their entire lives? We crave attention, stability, and affection. How could they think making me feel unwanted was the best course of action? And more importantly, how can I forgive them for it?
I gaze up at Sloan, my only safe mate for now. His dark russet-brown hair is tied atop his head in the same knot from earlier. I rather like it and his thick beard. Some strands have fallen loose, and I very much want to push them from his face—kiss him until he’s desperate to have me on this glorious...bed? I don’t recognize this room.
“Where are we?” I finally ask.
I’m certain I’ve never been here. It’s much smaller than the bedchamber Cillian and I share. Still, it’s spacious, fitting a rather massive four-poster bed—the likes of which I’ve never seen. Emerald silks with golden tassels make for a stunning canopy, cocooning us in some semblance of privacy. Mountains of pillows are scattered about—I can’t wait to arrange them just so. Then there’s the soft, lovely things my mate brought in just minutes ago. The divine scents clinging to the pile of fabrics let me know my alphas likely slept with those blankets recently.
Not my alphas.
Just two liars and their potential accomplice, who happen to smell delicious.
“It’s your nest, omega. We’ve been preparing for your return for a long time. Of course, you can change whatever you wish. There’s a bathing room as well. It’s equipped with a bath grand enough to fit— ah . Well, your whole pack, should you want.”
I scrunch my nose at such a thought. Surely they don’t deserve to bathe with me after their behavior. Sloan simply laughs, muttering something that sounds like “precious” under his breath.
“You made this for me?” I ask, tentative. A nest is such an intimate thing. That these alphas thought to prepare one for me—I’m not ready to address the swell of ardor rising inside me.
He nods. “Cillian, Oran, and I all contributed. Does it suit you?”
I don’t want to answer or give him praise when I haven’t assessed his culpability quite yet. Instead, I pick at the fabric of his tunic where it hangs loose to reveal his very impressive chest and the dark hair there.
Gods , this alpha is my every sensual fantasy come to life. A powerhouse of a man built to cage me in as he does wicked things to my body. My uncontrollable perfuming makes him groan, but he’s very good, keeping his hands still where they rest on my hips. I can tell by how his fingers flex he’d like to move them elsewhere. So would I, if he weren’t a suspect.
“It’s tolerable.” I do my best to school my features, offering him nothing more than a shrug.
Sloan throws his head back, giving me a full view of his thick neck as he laughs. “Your smart mouth is going to get you in trouble.”
A desirous ache settles deep in my bones. Even his threats are laced with lust. “What kind of trouble?”
My alpha regards me with serious eyes, shifting me and flexing his hips to press the hard length of his cock against my sex. “Always the good kind. You’ll love it.”
I shiver, slick and supple at the heated promise in his hazel eyes. It would be all too easy to forget the woes of the evening and let this gorgeous alpha fuck me in the beautiful nest he made for me. He is a good alpha. One who should be rewarded. And don’t I deserve to be pampered after such an ordeal?
If my heat is truly coming, I’ll need his knot to help sustain me.
I roll my hips against Sloan’s generous offering, and his eyes light up with feral wonder. I want nothing more than to see what comes from unleashing this man from his loosely held restraints.
“Easy now, omega,” he groans. “We have some things to discuss before you let me fuck that slick cunt of yours.”
I gasp. Be it from the shock of his licentious tongue or the pleasure shooting down my spine because of it, I can’t be certain.
“Who says I’ll let you?”
My protest is flimsy at best—we both know it. His easy smirk says it all.
“You will.”
I huff. It’s unfair how thoroughly Sloan’s confidence affects me when I haven’t decided if I’m mad at him or not. I hardly know him—I only spoke to him for the first time today. But his draw is unlike the one I feel with Cillian and Oran. Not better, just different. Unique. As though even among alphas, he’s the authority.
“Tell me why you’re so upset, Ivy.”
I quite enjoy the way he says my name. His accent is much less formal than what I’m accustomed to. His turns of phrase and directness speak to an intimacy I crave.
“Waking up in a strange place, settled between my husband and another man, is not reason enough?” My cutting tone brings a devious smile to his lips. I’ll need to remember this alpha likes my irritation a bit too much.
“Aye, but I’ve seen you pressed between them before. Do you mean to tell me you didn’t like it?”
“I—” I can’t admit it. Not when my heart and head are presently so at odds.
Sloan tsks, cupping my cheek in his massive palm. He leans closer, letting his mouth settle a breath from mine. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m not some pampered noble. I know what omegas need. Queens are not exempt from the call of nature.”
I whimper, wanting so desperately for him to kiss me. He speaks openly about things I’ve only ever thought in private. He sees inside me, wants to appeal to these secret desires I hold close to my heart.
“I heard them speaking. They knew I was their mate and didn’t tell me,” I whisper.
Humming, my mate rests his forehead against mine. “And that upset you, did it?”
Closing my eyes, I nod as much as I’m able. “They lied. Made me feel unwelcome— unwanted . If my Fate-blessed mates could treat me so coldly…”
My lip quivers, the agony overwhelming. I’ve never experienced emotion so intensely—so sharp and cutting like the edge of a blade.
Threading a hand into my hair, Sloan cradles the back of my head as he rocks me. “Your alphas didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe they had good reasons to keep their distance.”
Fresh tears stream down my cheeks. “What reason could they have to reject me? To lie ?”
“ No, Ivy . They would never reject you. You are so very wanted. I swear it.”
His conviction almost has me convinced. Almost.
“Then why?”
Sloan sighs, hugging me tighter. “They need to tell you themselves. They’ve been out of sorts ever since they learned about you. It’s not every day you find your perfect match.”
“And what about my feelings?” I sniffle, perhaps too pathetically.
“I’m not telling you to put your emotions aside. All I’m asking is for you to let them explain their choices. You might feel different afterward.”
A reasonable request, but I would rather be angry right now.
“And what about you ?” I’m lashing out, I know it. But I deserve answers.
“ Me ?” he asks, in that same light teasing tone from earlier.
He’s too handsome, too charming for the purposes of my prying.
“Yes, you, alpha. Did you know?”
Sloan hesitates, and my heart sinks. Of course he knew. I shouldn’t have hoped for one mate who didn’t hide the truth from me. Attempting to extract myself from his arms, Sloan’s strong hold keeps me still. He pulls back only slightly, so he can better look me in the eye.
“ Please ,” he begs. “Please hear what I have to say.”
The warmth in his hazel eyes and the genuine pleading gives me pause. Enough that he launches into an explanation.
“I didn’t know at first. When Cillian told us you were his mate, I was happy for him. We’d always spoken about the possibility of being a pack. But it was talk—dreams. When Oran scented you next, I let myself hope it could be more than a fantasy. That day, I followed you into the gardens, watched you for hours until I was brave enough to try to scent you.”
My alpha pauses, breathing deeply as though he is reliving the moment—taking me into his lungs as his whole world changed.
“When I realized you were mine, I knew nothing had ever made me feel so right and so out of control all at once. I wanted to take you in my arms, kiss you everywhere until you were begging for my bite. Can you understand how that would have looked—the Lucernian princess being swept away by the gardener on her betrothal visit?”
My heart pounds, thinking of my mate being so near, having such an epiphany without me ever sensing his presence. How painful was it for him, knowing we belonged together and he couldn’t act on it?
“I don’t care if you’re a gardener,” is all I can manage in the face of such an awe-inspiring admission.
Chuckling, Sloan tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. It’s a tender gesture for such a large alpha. “I know that. But there were the opinions of others to consider at the time.”
“Cillian?” That doesn’t sound right, given the king was cradling me in my nest with Oran. But I can’t be sure.
“No, not Cillian. You were a princess—now a queen. You royals have your rules, and I wasn’t in a position to break them at the time.”
I don’t know why I trust him, why I believe every word he says without question. I can’t explain why it feels as though I’ve known this alpha all my life.
“And now?” I ask. “Are you in a position to break them?”
Sloan’s warm gaze anchors me in the seriousness of this next bit. “That’s up to you, Ivy. I’ll do anything you want me to, but you need to decide. Are you ready for what breaking the rules will bring? For the changes and the criticisms that could come?”
The enormity of his questions steals the breath from my lungs. That he, Cillian, and Oran would think to turn their whole lives upside down to be with me—I’m speechless and a little ashamed my answer doesn’t come readily.
Perhaps I was too harsh with Oran, maybe Cillian as well. But I felt betrayed, too reminded of my father and how I never wanted to live like him, in the shadows, carrying on in a manner that hurt people I loved.
I don’t want to hurt my alphas. But I also don’t want my happiness to come at the expense of my siblings. It doesn’t feel as simple as saying yes to my deepest-held dream when it could affect their futures as well. Other kingdoms could disapprove—even break betrothals if they found my behavior dishonorable.
All this to consider, and I’ve yet to have a conversation with the king and his most loyal advisor about their feelings on the matter. My fault, I know, for kicking them out of the nest. But I’m not ready to face them when I’m so confused.
“Tell you what,” Sloan cuts in, giving me grace despite my silence. “Why don’t you spend the night with me? No expectations, no prying eyes. Just an alpha wanting to woo the omega of his dreams.”
I blush, wet between my thighs over such a tempting offer. Being alone with this walking mountain of carnality is a dangerous thing. I could end up sitting on something other than his lap.
That said, I want to know him better beyond the sexual tension and innate comfort he brings me.
Perhaps I’ll even allow him to know me in return.
“Just us?”
Sloan smiles, likely realizing I’ve already agreed. “That’s right.”
I nod. Maybe I’m na?ve, given who he’s in cahoots with. But if I don’t try, I’ll never know what could come from our Fate-blessed connection. What if it’s even better than all my fantasies?
“Woo at will, alpha.”