33. Oran
M y omega chose me.
With so much information to process, she chose me to comfort her in her nest. Given their new bond, I assumed Sloan would be here in my place. Maybe even Cillian after sharing his misfortunes with her.
But me? I thought I’d fade into the background when up against my packmates who have much more to offer her than I do.
Sloan is so solid—such a good foundation for our mate. He will tend to all her hurts, do things to make her smile. And Cillian is charming—handsome. He can give her everything this kingdom has to offer. I’m still not sure where I fit in, or why she would even want me, beyond Fate making my scent appealing to her.
Ivy leads me into the nest, stepping down to crawl into the large bed. She’s yet to let go of my hand, and when she plops down, she nearly drags me on top of her. I land with a soft “oof,” which makes her giggle.
Such a sweet sound coming from her sinful lips. Goddess, the things I would do to her if she would have me. Our night in the study doesn’t begin to cover all the ways I’ve wanted to worship her.
I’m no angel, unlike Cillian. I didn’t have the foresight to wait. But what I can offer her is dedication. I’ll learn every single thing she likes, every fucking thing , so as to bring her pleasure.
Ivy shuffles closer, so we’re almost nose to nose, her delicate hand wrapped in mine as she stares into my eyes. There’s sadness lingering there, but no more tears for me to dry. I hate that she’s had to shed so many these last few days.
“How are you feeling, love?” I ask, trying not to focus too much on her mouth. If I keep staring, I’ll do something stupid like kiss her, when what she needs is a compassionate ear.
Sloan would be so much better at this than me.
“A bit shocked, if I’m honest.”
“Understandably so. It’s a lot to take in. When Cillian first told me, I wondered how so many people could be so ignorant to this.”
She offers me a half-smile—I’ll take it. Any way to connect with her is a way I’ll gladly accept.
“It breaks my heart. I always thought my mother died because my father was a terrible, philandering liar, and it killed her to know she’d never have his love or his loyalty. But to learn this?”
Ah, I see now her sensitivity to lying. If it’s what she’s come to expect from alphas, it probably hurt her to be proven right.
“Appears as though I’m not the one with an arsehole for a father,” I chuckle, though there’s not much humor there. I would never want Ivy to have to go through what I did. Or anyone, for that matter.
She hums, letting go of my hand to trace the freckles along the bridge of my nose. My skin tingles where she touches, sparks flying with each sweet caress. “My father was too busy doing anything other than raising us. The only ones he cared for in any capacity were Hawthorn and Sage. His heir and his spare.”
I nod, understanding too well. “And your mother?”
She shrugs. “Resentful. Indifferent. My sister Rose was more of a mother to me than she was.”
I stop her tracing, grabbing her by the wrist to place a kiss on her open palm. My poor sweet girl. Growing up without the love she deserves.
“My mother too,” I offer. “My father...well, my father only ever found me good for one thing.”
Her brow furrows. “What’s that?”
“Making alpha heirs. Marrying whoever he says, even if it’s a short and loveless life.”
Ivy’s scent sours, and I want to kick myself. Of course, she doesn’t want to hear about the possibility of her alpha being with someone else.
“I refused, love. Told him I’d never marry anyone he chose for me. I always wanted more than that sad, empty life our station demands.”
Her frown lifts, relief on her pretty face instantaneous, and I’m more than a little prideful that she feels so territorial over me.
“Do you think people will accept us?” she asks. “Our...pack?”
That is the question, isn’t it?
“I wish I could say yes. But, I’m certain it won’t be a popular choice with everyone.”
Ivy’s silent. Her soft breaths fan across my face, her big, blue eyes still transfixed on me. She’s so open, like this—offering me insight into her heart.
“Do you care what everyone thinks?” she asks.
“I don’t give a shite what anyone thinks. Only you.”
My omega’s cheeks are so very telling of her feelings, always blushing pretty pink when she’s flustered. “Why?”
“Why what?” I respond, smiling.
“Why does my opinion matter so much?”
I laugh. What a silly thing to ask. Doesn’t she understand? Can’t she see we’re all mad over her? As much as I protest in my own mind, I know what’s true in my heart. I may be scared, but I want her more than words could ever express.
“You’re my omega, Ivy. Every second is spent thinking of you. You have power over me like no one else does.”
“ Oh, Oran. ” Her eyes light up, her scent now sweet and sugary and so fucking fresh. Before I can even think, she surges towards me, her lips on mine, kissing me like I’m her life source.
Fuck. I’d forgotten. Or rather, I hadn’t remembered just how transcendent her kisses were—how her soft mouth slants so perfectly against mine.
Everything is brighter with her touch, her hands in my hair, tugging me closer. I groan into our kiss, letting my tongue slip inside her mouth. How did I live without this? How could I have gone on without her soft whimpers and frenzied touches?
Her skin is so warm, my Ivy. Her body is so pliant as I reach down, grabbing her by the arse, and hauling her against me. My cock is aching something fierce, and she’s more than eager to rub herself along the length of me.
I break our kiss, panting, my teeth aching to bite her.
She doesn’t like that I’ve stopped, and slips her hand between us, squeezing my cock.
“Fuck’s sake, love.” I moan, my eyes rolling back. Pleasure shoots down my spine as she runs her delicate hand over me through my trousers.
I could come apart right here. Like a lad who’s never been touched. I could— will —if she doesn’t quit.
“Oran,” she whines, her voice silky and full of need. “ Your scent. Your scent. I want?—”
My scent.
The heat growing inside me extinguishes all at once. I grab her wrist, gently as I move to break free from her scorching touch.
Ivy’s heat is near and I’ve spent the least amount of time with her. She needs my scent in her nest. I’m not here because she wants me, but rather because her omega nature demands it.
It’s the only explanation for why she could ever invite me in. I’m not as handsome or selfless as Cillian. Nor funny and confident as Sloan. I’m just some fucking fool who smells good to the most incredible woman in the world. But once the lust clears, she’ll see I’m not good for her or this pack.
She’ll reject me. Just as she should.
“Oran?” she asks, confusion taking over her pretty features.
I sigh, pulling back and sitting up. Ivy follows swiftly, reaching out to me but I halt her hands. It’s best she doesn’t fill my head with false hope. It’ll hurt even worse when she takes it away.
“I’ll send Sloan down,” is all I manage. He’s the one she wants. She bonded with him, after all.
I can’t look at her, can’t let her see how much I want her when I know it can never be.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
“What’s there to understand, Your Majesty? You’ve got my scent now, so I’ll retrieve the alpha you really want and be on my way.”
Ivy scoffs. She reaches out, and grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“I want you , Oran. I asked you to be here.”
Regret washes over me, but I’m no fool. I want to believe her, but I can’t. I need to be on my own where it’s safe for my heart.
“You don’t know what you want,” I say flatly.
The sound that leaves her lips is broken, her blue eyes filling up with tears, and I want to die for how badly I’m fucking this all up.
It’s better we both accept this now.
I don’t say anything else. Simply retreat from her grip and roll off the bed. I linger for just a moment, stupidly hoping she’ll tell me I’m wrong, that she does want me, that she’ll ask me to stay.
But she doesn’t.
And as I close the door on the nest, I build another wall around my heart.