Chapter 16
brIE
I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Gia. How someone makes you feel is really important.
It makes sense, like something that should be true. But I felt good about Christopher in the beginning, and look where that landed me.
“Landed me in this podunk town with a serious lack of parking,” I mutter to myself as I turn back onto Main.
At least the Christopher situation left me wiser. Does it really matter if Sawyer was decent at Angelica’s? One night?
No.
None of it matters, I remind myself. I’m gone at the end of the semester anyway, and all this is temporary. At least one of my applications to a school in a real city is sure to pan out, and I’ll be gone by the start of summer.
Finally, I spot a car leaving from in front of the library, and turn my blinker on.
I’m meeting Tess at Jolly Jalapeno. She was different at lunch today. Lighter and more buoyant. It made me realize she’d slowly been deflating since I first met her. So when she suggested we go out, I thought, Why not?
As I step onto the sidewalk the windchill cuts straight through my coat and whips my hair around wildly. It’s not dark yet, but the old fashioned street lamps are on. If I forget where I am completely, I can admit they give downtown a certain charm.
I lower my head against the wind as I pass the library, followed by a handful of colorful houses that have mostly been converted into shops.
An antique store in a purple craftsman, the window basement sporting a neon sign advertising tarot reading, a green bungalow with a sign that reads COFFEE + PLANTS, and a shockingly pink two-story used as a coworking space, which is itself shocking in a town like this.
I lift my head to sniff the air as I get closer to the sweet doughy smells hovering around Maddy’s Bakery, even after it’s long been closed for the day.
On the corner is the stately blue Victorian that houses Book Nook on its bottom floor, a staple of Blue Ridge owned by the Strongs.
Although it was usually Sawyer’s older brother Will at the register, any chance of seeing Sawyer when I didn’t have to made my insides crawl.
I never went in there if I could help it.
Now, I stop to look at the eye-catching display in the window.
My gaze falls on a book with an illustrated cover similar to the ones I’ve seen Gia reading.
Lavender with little gold stars in the background, an outline of a small town not unlike Blue Ridge, and two characters in the foreground with folded arms glaring at each other.
I’ve never heard of the author, Jackie Pine, but there’s a good chance Gia has based on the books I’ve seen her reading. I glance at the sign over the display: Local New Releases. She probably doesn’t have this one yet.
Mind made up, I step onto the wooden staircase, sure that whatever teenager working tonight won’t recognize me. I’m halfway up when the internal lights flick off and a shadow approaches the glass front door.
My insides turn to ice as Sawyer comes into view through the glass. I freeze, like maybe if I stand perfectly still he won’t notice I’m here. He reaches for the Open sign.
Our eyes lock.
Busted.
My heart picks up speed. I turn stiffly back to the sidewalk and walk as rapidly as I can without looking unbalanced.
Behind me, I hear the door open and keys jangle. Then thumping footsteps down the stairs.
Don’t come this way, don’t come thi—
“Why’re you running away?”
I pretend I don’t hear him.
“I can open back up for you if you need a book.”
I peek at him. “No, thanks.”
“Then why were you coming up the stairs?”
“I wasn’t. I was stretching my legs.”
“Ah, right right right. Makes sense.” When I don’t say anything, he says, “Where’re we going now?”
We? I look at him sidelong. If he were anyone else, I’d think he was flirting. Or, maybe, if I were anyone else.
“Nowhere,” I say.
For an entire block, we walk in tense silence.
I take him in through the corner of my eye.
Again with the open jacket and collar. His flannel is a dark green this time, and his jeans are snug enough that when he turns to push the pedestrian call button on the lamppost, my gaze has no choice but to drop to his ass.
I tear my eyes away and jaywalk across the empty intersection.
He follows me.
When we reach the other side of the street, I pause, waiting for him to go on his way.
He stops, too.
I finally face him and flap my arms. “Well?! Which way are you going?”
He mimics my arm-flap, looking like an overgrown child. “It’s a secret.”
He didn’t do anything to hurt me that night at dinner, I remind myself.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I look past him, wishing traffic was worse so I could push him into it.
“You wish it were rush hour right now, don’t you.”
I’m stunned into honesty. “Yes.”
It’s his grin that does it, has me laughing incredulously.
His eyes shine when I do. It brightens his whole face.
He’s always handsome, but the pleasure in his expression takes it to another level, makes him almost too beautiful to look at.
His full lips, glimmering kind eyes, and ticklish-looking beard are almost too much.
The wind blows, and my hair flies everywhere, but I’m not cold.
“You know how insufferable you’re being,” I say without heat.
His eyes dim a fraction. “What do you want?”
“Just leave me alone,” I say on a shrug.
The mischief fades from his expression. “Okay, Brie. I’ll leave you alone.”
There’s a tug on my heart I can’t explain, a pull at the gentle way he says my name.
He reaches out, and tucks my windswept hair behind my ear. The nerves there light up, then trail a path down my body, sparking every inch to life along the way.
I’m in suspended animation, waiting for something.
Suddenly, he blinks. He pulls his hand back, and stuffs it into his pocket.
He says, “Have a good night,” not bothering to meet my gaze.
Why do I feel like I just lost something? Confusion swirls through me as I grope for mental purchase. Is this his game? To act decent, get me worked up just for the fun of it, before turning icy?
Wait, no! The denial echoes through me.
I was not worked up.
The lingering heat between my legs whispers otherwise, but I ignore it. Sawyer Strong will not get to me. The game has changed, but the player is the same, and I refuse to be duped this time.
When he starts walking in the direction I’m going, I can only follow. I catch up when he stops at the next intersection.
“Are you following me?” His tone is teasing, but there’s a dolor to it.
“Not intentionally . . . Where are you going?” The question is futile. There’s only one place he could be headed, unless he’s going on a tour of the fire department.
The Walk sign illuminates and we cross together.
“Jolly’s. I’m meeting Ethan and Rich.”
Dread swirls in my gut. It’s just my luck he’s going where I’m headed. And meeting up with his minions.
“I guess I am following you,” I say tersely. “I’m meeting Tess.”
His eyebrows shoot up, his iciness forgotten. “Good for her. I don’t think she gets out a lot.”
I bite my lip. That’s the feeling I had, too. Even though she’s from here, I’ve never heard Tess talk about friends. It’s hard reconciling that with the easy friendship she’s offered me.
As we approach the restaurant, the din inside becomes more audible.
Sawyer exhales raggedly, like he’s dreading what he’s about to do.
Then he reaches for the door.
“Tess and I were just coming for the tacos,” I say dumbly as I stare across the restaurant.
Apparently, Blue Ridge does not mess around for Taco and Trivia Tursday.
It’s a madhouse, it looks nothing like when I met Dev here my first week in town.
The restaurant is absolutely crammed. Tables are pushed together, more seats than they can accommodate shoved into the mix, and they’re all filled by trivia-goers who might as well be holding pitchforks for all the viciousness with which they jeer at one another.
As I stare, a hand appears beneath the sea of tables and grips my thigh. I shriek as a woman’s face appears at my knees. She thanks me as she uses me for leverage to crawl out before heading toward the bathrooms.
People I recognize wave or nod at Sawyer, throwing uncertain glances at me. My insides crawl with anxiety as he acknowledges them all like it’s just another Tursday.
This is not what I had in mind when I agreed to meet Tess out.
If this were literally any city, there’d be another place for tacos around the corner, one across the street, maybe another a few blocks down.
In any other city, I could text Tess to meet me somewhere—anywhere—else.
But we’re in Blue Ridge, and I don’t want to let her down, so here I am, sitting at the last available table next to Sawyer.
Then my eyes widen and my pulse quickens as I notice Ethan Darvish walking over from the bar. Even though Sawyer was very clear about meeting his friends here, I feel like I’m in an episode of The Twilight Zone.
Be a fucking grownup, the voice in my head urges. It’s been fourteen years for shit’s sake. But something about being back in this town, with the same people who made my life a living hell, has me relapsing to the same emotional state I was in last time I was here, like I never left.
When Ethan sees me with Sawyer, there isn’t even a fleeting look of surprise on his face. Instead, a giant grin breaks through his features.
“Brie,” he says, leaning over and . . . hugging me?
My arms remain glued to my sides.
“Um, hi?” It comes out as a question.
Ethan looks at me—I mean really looks at me—with eyes full of intense meaning. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Thanks,” I say, heart inflating a fraction.
See? the smug voice says.