Chapter Twelve
SUNNY
The Bachelorette plays on the TV while Sam and I sit on the couch with bowls of pasta in our laps—compliments of her brother.
Our uncontrollable laughter overcomes what's being said on the screen. A closing shift at the public library explains Macey’s absence, but we have a bowl of pasta waiting for her in the microwave.
With how impressed I am at the public library here, Mace promised me a job if the nursing gig changes. The good thing with nursing is I’m too busy keeping my patients alive to spiral down the dark hole that has become my own mind.
“We should apply to be on the bachelor,” Sam says while she plays with a pink strand of hair, watching the TV.
“That’s not very keep a low profile and run from your abusive ex, of me to do.”
She barks out a laugh. “See, this is why we are friends. We can bring humor into our traumas.”
That’s practically the foundation of our friendship.
I clear my throat. “Speaking of traumas, when the hell are you going to tell me the dynamic between you, Cole, and Anthony?”
I’m hoping it’ll be something as comical as a threesome between the three gone wrong. Unfortunately, the look in Sam’s eyes tells me it’s something much deeper.
She smiles at the screen. “I was waiting for you to ask. I’m surprised it took you this long.”
I shrug. “I know what it’s like to not want to unleash your traumas. No obligation to tell me if you aren’t comfortable. But the obvious is pretty blaring between the three of you.”
“Cole and I… we hooked up one night. I could go on about the things Cole has done for me and why I feel the way I do.” She toys with a thread on the couch.
“While I’m not proud of it, considering I knew Anthony’s feelings for me, we slept together too.
But that’s a story for another time,” she sighs.
“One night after Martha’s, Cole gave me a ride home.
Tyler normally would have, but he called it early since he had a big meeting at work the next morning.
Anyways, when he got to my place, I asked him to come in and he did.
” She shrugs. “It was one of the best nights I’ve ever experienced.
It made it even better knowing we both made that decision soberly.
Nothing influenced us except for genuine feelings.
” She smiles. “Or so I thought. It made me fall more in love with him, even though it probably didn’t mean the same to him.
He acted so odd after that night, and still does to this day.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he knew. ”
“Knew what?” I ask.
“That I got pregnant.” She looks at me.
I blink, trying to stifle my reaction.
“Let me just pick your jaw up off the floor,” she teases. “One second.” She places her glass of wine on the coffee table and runs upstairs.
Sam got pregnant with Cole’s baby.
This is a lot more complex than I anticipated. I figured it was a drunken mess of a one-night stand, not this.
I sit anxiously on the couch as I wait for Sam’s return. Soon after her departure, she comes back downstairs holding a small pink box. Placing it in her lap, she opens the lid and pulls out a single sonogram. There in the middle is a tiny little baby. An actual baby.
“This was her. I was nine weeks.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Isn’t she?” She looks at the picture with admiration that has my eyes glistening. The love and pain in her eyes speaks volumes. I examine the picture, leaving the silence for her to take reins on how she wants the rest of the conversation to go.
“It was a cliché. My period was late. I took a test, and it was clear as day positive. I was waiting to tell Cole because I wanted it to be special. I wanted him to be excited.” She smiles sadly.
“I know he didn’t love me the way I love him, but I hoped that maybe this would make him fall in love with me the way I always hoped he would.
And I know that’s awful to think but regardless, we still love one another, even if just as friends.
We still share love. That baby would’ve been loved no matter what.
With our family, they wouldn’t know anything else, even if their parents weren’t together.
I was actually excited, but then I started bleeding. ”
I’ve held one too many mothers crying in my arms as their baby, slowly and painfully, was taken from their body in a bloody mess. To think Sam had to go through that. I’m so sorry Sam.
“Macey took me to the emergency room where I learned I was miscarrying. I already knew before they even confirmed it. I mean, why else would I be bleeding so much? Anyways, she is the only one who knows. I never told Cole because I felt like it would be too painful for him to know. Why tell him anyways since she no longer existed?” Sam traces a finger along the outline of her baby in the sonogram.
“Sam… I’m so sorry.” In my experience, I learned there was absolutely nothing more you could say. I never felt I had a maternal instinct and I certainly never pegged Sam to, either. But the way she looks at the picture tells me everything I need to know about the love of a mother.
“It’s okay. I sometimes wonder if he knew. Because ever since then, he’s been so off towards me. Or maybe it’s because he regrets hooking up. Who knows.”
“Do you ever think you’ll tell him?”
“No. There’s no point. This was a year ago, anyway. If I could do it over, I would’ve told him as soon as I found out. It would’ve been nice to experience that with him even if it was for a brief moment. I know he would’ve wanted it. Even if as friends, even if as more, he would’ve wanted it.”
I nod in understanding. “You’d make such a good mom, Sam. I can’t wait to see that day come for you.”
“Does that mean you’re going to stay here?” She raises an eyebrow.
“Slow down there,” I laugh.
“Can I use this to guilt trip you now?” She laughs.
I just roll my eyes. “Again, that’s not very, stay low key, running from your abusive ex of me, now is it?”
“I’ll kick his ass, don’t worry.” She places the sonogram back into the box where the pregnancy test lays, along with a little onesie inside. My heart cracks.
I wrap my arms around her. “I’m so thankful for you.”
“You too, Sunny.” She hugs me back.
Tying my hair into a curly mess atop my head, I look in the mirror at a girl who has no clue how to fight.
I found my way out of a situation where luck somehow had my hand.
Luck won’t be my reliance anymore, and skill will be in my back pocket if the situation arises again.
Now that I know Ryan is alive, the chances of that are so much greater.
That’s why I took up Tyler’s offer to train at his gym with him and the guys. It’ll be nice knowing I can have some type of leverage if needed.
My phone buzzes on the bathroom counter, drawing my attention from the stranger in the mirror to my screen with Tyler’s name on it.
I’m so sorry, I’ll be running a bit late due to work. Cole and Anthony will be there. Cole is on his way to pick you up. You are not walking. Please don’t fight me on this, Sunny.
I blink, and before I can type out an argument, a knock on my door halts me.
Gathering my things, I shoot a text to Tyler.
Fine. But only for tonight. I’m expecting something to make up for your lack of presence.
And what might that be, little fire?
A smirk pulls my lips.
I’ll come up with something.
If you can’t think of anything, I have a whole list of ways I can make it up to you.
I bite the inside of my cheek.
A whole list, huh? What might those things be?
Oh no, I’d rather show you than tell you. Besides, I’d like to see your suggestions first. Mine may be a bit too….much.
My heart beats a little harder in my chest.
It’s a deal. See you soon.
Friends. That's all.
I open the door to find Cole leaning against the frame. “Ready?”
“I have no choice at this point, right?” I shut the door and lock it behind me.
He chuckles, but the smile fades fast. “I hope that it’s okay, but Tyler told us your story to prepare us for training you. The fact you knocked him out in one blow is really impressive.”
“You think so? I just called it beginner’s luck.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I can’t wait to see you get your ass kicked.” He playfully bumps into me. “You’re brave and what you’re doing is brave. You put on such a good front, and I want you to know I’m here if you ever need a friend.”
“That’s why it’s called a front, because I’m hiding a lot behind it,” I admit.
“We all are, Sunny. Just know you don’t have to carry it alone.”
“Same to you, Cole.” I grab his hand. He slings an arm around my shoulders and plants a kiss on my head. As we approach the truck, he opens the door for me.
“No motorcycle today?” I ask.
“Tyler would have my head if I put you on a motorcycle.” He shuts the door.
Of course he would.
“You guys share the truck?”
He leans into the door frame. “Absolutely. We built her together when we were in college.” He taps the metal.
“That’s incredible. She reminds me of my truck back home,” I say, gazing around it. It’s a beater for sure, just like how mine was. But it’s their beater. It means something to them.
“Oh yeah?” He leans against the truck and crosses his arms. “What kind?”
“Just an old teal Chevy nineteen ninety-five truck. It used to be my dad’s.”
“Why does that not surprise me,” he chuckles and closes the door.
Hopping in the driver’s seat he says, “Okay, now let’s go kick Anthony and Tyler’s ass.”
I like that idea.
TYLER
I feel guilty not being there at the start of Sunny’s first training session.
Coming from abuse, my first training session was emotional in many ways.
It was such a conflicting feeling—training to protect yourself because someone is actively trying to hurt you, while simultaneously knowing the power has been in your hands the whole time.
It was just a matter of learning about it.