Chapter Eighty-Six
SUNNY
I sit on Sam’s couch, knowing the times left for moments like these are dwindling down to practically nothing. It’s our last bach night, and honestly, I still don’t feel ready to leave.
I thought as the time reduced and I got closer to my departure, I’d feel ready the way I did before coming to Boston.
But I just don’t. If anything, I can’t shake that sense of impending doom.
That string between me and Tyler seems to protest anytime I think about leaving.
Like it’s tugging at me, and he whispers but just stay, along it.
“It’s not going to be the same without you, Sunny.” Macey plops down next to me, handing me a bowl of pasta.
“Seriously. I know you said we could facetime but who is going to help us finish off the wine? My ass has gone lightweight having to share.” Sam sits on the other side of me.
“Please Sam, we both know you can finish a bottle and not feel a thing.” Macey takes a bite of her pasta.
Sam shoots Macey a look without her seeing. There is a hardness in her amber eyes that didn’t exist there before New Years Eve. An unspoken tension that lingers between the two despite the make-up they had that night.
Trying to brush off the tension, I just chuckle and look at my sisters. But with the way both their eyes turn wide, I know they see what I wished they didn’t in my face.
“Spill it.” Sam places her bowl on the coffee table.
Macey pauses the TV. The two wait patiently for me to admit the truth I’ve kept locked for a while now.
“I don’t know…I just…I don’t feel ready.”
“I fucking knew it!” Sam jumps up giddily.
“Calm down, princess.”
“Have you told Tyler?” Macey asks wide eyed.
“Of course not. You guys know he wouldn’t even hear the words I say. His brain would just translate it to Sunny stays. Ugh, I just, I guess I started to question…”
“Question what? Question what?” Sam says too excitedly.
“Just, what if? You know? What if I could have normal? What if I could stay here? What if he never tries to find me? What if it worked out between me and Tyler? What if it all just worked out? But that’s the reckless part of me,” I counter.
“The rational part tells me how I did that once upon a time. I let myself get too comfortable. How can I stray from this plan I’ve held strong to for this long?
Do I just get attached too easily? I have to stick to my plan, right?
I have to stick to my plan. Not just because of the promise Ryan made to me, but to myself too. ”
The two look at me with stupid fucking grins on their faces.
“Stop,” I warn.
“You know we can help…” Sam starts.
I shake my head. “I know you can, but at what cost? Tyler already takes enough heat from Mitchell. This is nobody’s job but mine to handle. And I can’t trust myself, not after what happened. My judgment has clearly not been good in the past, why should I trust it now?”
“You were a different person then, Sunny. You are not who you were even just six months ago. You’re stronger. You’re better. You’re even happier,” Macey says.
“Sunny, involving a lawyer won’t cross any boundaries. It won’t have Tyler doing anything illegal. It’s just some options and different avenues on how you can navigate this. You can navigate it instead of running like hell from it,” Sam offers.
“This can be handled however you want it to be handled. We’ve all got your back. No matter what you end up choosing, we will all support you. We always have, we always will.” Macey gives me a weak smile.
“Fuck that shit, Sunny stay! Just stay! Talk to Tyler about it. See what our lawyers can do. Weigh out all the options before you fucking run. We need you here. We want you here. If you leave, I’m gonna be so mad.” Sam grabs my hands.
“I love you both so much.”
“Okay, so then stay.” Sam smiles.
A weak smile pulls my lips. I know what I’m going to say is going to cause more chaos than the last six months. And I can’t even believe I’m considering this.
“I’ll talk to him,” I finally say.
Squeals that I didn’t know could exist ring through my two sisters. They jump up and down and pull me up with them.
“Okay, okay calm down. It doesn’t mean I’m staying. It’s simply weighing all my options and seeing which is the best,” I clarify, even though I know it didn’t go through their happy ridden heads.
“Bach nights don’t end here!” Sam hugs me.
“Maybe, maybe they won’t.”
“It doesn’t matter. Even if you leave, even if you stay, we will always be sisters. No matter when, no matter where, no matter what,” Macey says.
“Oh my god we need to get that tattooed,” Sam says.
“What?” Both Macey and I question.
“On our wrists. Friendship tattoos.”
That’s exactly what we end up doing.
Written across each right wrist of ours, we get the words inked into our skin.
Macey with No Matter When.
Sam with No Matter What.
And mine with No Matter Where.
Because that’s how it is. No matter all those things, they will always be my sisters.