13. Sophie
Sophie
“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” — Halley Reed, “Crimes and Misdemeanors”
“ C lover? Your middle name is Clover?” My voice sounds strangled as I try to hold in my excitement slash laugh at the pure gold I’m reading on the paper that the receptionist, Anne, handed us to fill out.
His middle name is Clover ! Callum Clover Lovinski.
My soon-to-be husband slowly turns his head my way, running his tongue over his teeth. “How much for you to forget it?”
My grin grows in both size and challenge. “I don’t know, Clover ,” I say, twirling my short hair around my finger. “I think a good wife knows everything about her husband.”
“Fuck.” He sighs. “You’ll never forget it now.”
I let out that laugh. “You bet. In fact, I like it so much, I think I'll just use that from now on.”
“A hundred bucks.”
“Nope.”
“Five hundred.”
“Nope.”
“A thousand.”
“Save your breath, Clover,” I wave him off.
“Remind me why I thought this was a good idea?”
“Because you fell in love with me from that first moment when you broke down my front door and have been secretly pining after me ever since. Up until today, when you finally got the courage to admit your feelings to me and I jumped into your arms, kissing you passionately—”
“Yeah, that doesn’t ring a bell,” he rudely interrupts my fantasy.
I send him a mock-scowl. “Party pooper. Oh, oh, I got another version.” I stick my finger out.
“For thirty years, you’ve lived in the world filled with gray clouds.
Just surviving without any joy or happiness.
Until one night, you got a fateful call that led you to the door of the one that would change it all.
You had no idea that breaking down my door and ripping the cord from my TV would lead you to the love of your life.
All you wanted from that point on is to wrap me into your arms and kiss me sensel—”
“Jesus Christ.” Callum slaps a hand over his face. “Where did you work before coming here?”
“Software engineer.” I rock on my heels, the rubber soles of my Converse making a squeaky sound on the floor.
He gives me a look. “Well, that’s a talent wasted. Better put that imagination to a better use.”
“Aww,” I coo, batting my lashes. “You think I have a talent.”
“Mm-hmm. Many of them.”
Before I can ask which kind—because I’m curious myself—the receptionist comes back .
“Okay, this all looks great.” She scans the paperwork we just filled out. “Oh, one thing’s missing, dear.” She looks over to me. “Are you keeping your last name or taking your husband’s?”
I open my mouth to tell her I’ll be keeping my name Levidis, because what’s the point in changing it for just a year, when Callum growls out, “She’ll be Lovinski.”
A shiver runs down my spine from his tone. A delicious shiver that went straight down to a place it shouldn’t.
Seeing my questioning eyes and a hanging mouth out of the corner of his eye, he mutters, “It’ll be more believable that way.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod, still trying to get the goose bumps his words woke up under control.
Damn it , that was hot and I’m trying very hard not to find my husband hot. Why is he making it that much more difficult?
Get your fantasies under control, Soph! Callum just wants everyone to really buy this whole we are madly in love scheme. But did he have to growl those words like that? Like he’d go ballistic if I didn’t have his last name?
I eye the man beside me. Who are you, Callum Clover Lovinski, and what lives inside that head of yours?
“Lovinski it is, then.” The receptionist nods and leaves to process the paperwork, snapping me from my daydreaming and back into reality. And not a bad one.
“Oh my gosh! I’ll be Sophie Lovinski! That. Sounds. Epic,” I say with a grin just as a strangled sound leaves Clover’s lips.
“This is for the greater good. Repeat that ten times, Callum. This is for the greater good.”
“Are you talking to yourself? And here I thought being married to you would be boring.”
“Okay, do you lovebirds want a ceremony as well or just the paperwork?” the receptionist asks, and I look down at myself. A ceremony in my Outlaws jersey, sweatpants—is that an ice cream stain on them?—my trusty old Converse, and hangover hair and makeup.
So not how I imagined my wedding day to go. But heck if I’m going to miss it. Who knows when’s the next time going to be. So, before my Shrek can poop on my parade some more, I squeak out, “Ceremony too, please.”
Callum slowly turns his death glare my way. “I thought we were going to have one under the cave. You know, like you wanted?” he grits out, placing special emphasis on each word to get his point across.
Oh, I understand he doesn’t want to do it, but sucks to be him. You’re married now, buddy. Well, almost.
I grin wide. “The more the merrier! We’ll have two.” I link my arm with his stiff one.
“I like the sound of that,” Anne agrees and motions for us to go into the chapel-looking room lined with a few colorful benches for guest seating and a beautiful mural of the Loverly Cave painted on the wall where we are to stand.
“What are you doing?” Clover asks through gritted teeth.
“Getting married to the love of my life, you?”
“This wasn’t the plan.”
“You don’t say?”
“Sophie.”
“Excuse me, it’s Mrs. Callum Clover Lovinski to you now.”
“Sophie! This is serious! These are vows we’re talking about,” he whisper-shouts.
“I didn’t peg you for someone who believes in them.”
“Me? No, I don’t. But you do.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll cross my fingers behind my back.”
“You’re nuts.”
“And yet you still asked me to marry you.”
“Are you two ready?” Our receptionist asks, entering after us and goes to light up the incense stationed all over the place.
I tug on Callum’s hand to go stand at the altar while he mutters, “This is ridiculous. We are about to burn in this hell.”
“Clover, have you ever heard the phrase ‘Happy wife, happy life?’”
“Maybe,” he grunts out.
“Time to practice it.” I bat my eyelashes at his narrowed eyes and go to stand opposite him .
Gosh, I had no idea agreeing to his ridiculous idea would be so fun, because I’m having a blast over here. Who else can say they experienced a practice wedding before they’re even engaged? Or have a boyfriend for that matter.
Anne stands before us wearing a bright beaming smile that is such a contradiction to my future husband’s scowl, I want to laugh, but instead I mouth, Smile, and plaster one of my own as light smoke fills the space around us. The herbal scent relaxing me further.
He rolls his eyes at me but at least tries to look a little less miserable. I bite on the inside of my cheek to hide my amusement. I’m marrying the grumpiest man ever known.
“Take a deep breath, lovebirds,” Anne says, closing her eyes and taking one herself. “Take in this moment as your two souls about to merge onto one road,” she says in that serene voice and my eyes catch Clover’s twitching.
I mouth, Take a deep breath, Shrek , and proceed to take mine, knowing he’s sending me to hell ten times over right now while I’m having a blast messing with him.
“Close your eyes and open up your hearts. Do you feel how they are reaching for one another? Oh, sweet heavens, I can feel your energies all the way from here,” Anne says, her eyes still closed as both arms reach for Callum and me.
I barely manage to hold in my chuckle because Clover is looking at me, completely unamused, and shaking his head as he points to our receptionist who seems to have entered into some kind of trance, swaying on her feet and murmuring something unintelligible.
“What the fuck,” he mouths to me.
I roll my lips to suppress some more chuckles and take a deep breath, motioning for him to do the same. “Breathe.”
This is completely nuts and I love it.
To his credit—and my surprise—Clover tsks but does exactly that.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
I follow, breathing deep and slow, the aroma and the smoke wrapping around my body and mind in the strangest way.
It’s as if I’m really floating but not falling.
As if there is someone else holding me. I lose all track of time, getting submerged in that warm feeling until I hear Anne murmur softly, “Yes, it’s time now. ”
Slowly, as if waking up from a long sleep, I open my eyes and find Callum’s already trained on mine and I suck in another—this time, greedy—breath. All of a sudden, this is no longer funny or silly.
It feels monumental.
At least to me.
Does he feel it, too?
“Callum Clover Lovinski, do you take Sophia Levidis to be your lawfully wedded wife from this day forward and onto every next life - to have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health; will you love, honor, respect, and cherish her? Will you support her inner peace and follow her heart’s desires?
Will you follow her footsteps until the end of days and in every life thereafter? ”
His eyes never leave mine as Anne speaks. They don’t stray for a second as he whispers, “Yes.” And a shudder runs over my body, shaking me to my very core.
“Sophia Levidis, do you take Callum Clover Lovinski to be your lawfully wedded husband from this day forward and into every next life—to have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. Will you love, honor, respect and cherish him? Will you support his inner peace and follow his heart’s desires?
Will you follow his footsteps until the end of days and in every life thereafter? ”
“Yes,” I whisper back.
Anne claps, the sound breaking us out of whatever state we were in, and I nearly jump, startling. “Callum, Sophia”—she takes our hands—“I now pronounce you husband and wife. May you always share this road called life. You may now kiss your bride, Callum.” She giggles, placing my hand into his.
Kiss? Um, we never discussed a kiss. My panicked eyes lock on his matching ones. I can’t kiss him. Nope.
We have to kiss , his say.
We do? mine respond.
That’s what married couples do .
Right.
Let’s make it quick and be done with it.
Yeah, okay. I nod.
Okay, a quick, short peck will do. Clover closes the space between us, my hand still clasped in his. His skin feels rough and hard on mine, but not in a bad way. Quite opposite, actually, it feels safe. Like he’s got me.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that before and the fact that it now comes from my fake husband is quite unnerving.
It’s just this ceremony. It got to me, that’s all.
I pucker my lips, in preparation of that peck…but instead he steals my air and…and so much more.