36. Callum
Callum
“I was still searching for someone to blame for my suffering. I really wanted someone to transfer my hate to, so that I could stop hating myself.” — Glenn Beck
I t takes a nanosecond for my feet to move and push a screaming Vassar away from my fuming Sophie. I knew things were spiraling fast when they switched from English to Greek to yell at each other.
“Do not raise your voice at my wife,” I growl.
“Not now, not ever. She’s a grown woman and can make her own choices.
Or, are you trying to tell me that you never make mistakes and lead a perfect life?
” Vassar clenches his teeth, so I continue.
“Thought so. But know one thing. This”—I wave a finger between Sophie and me—“is not a mistake, and I won’t have you attack her for it.
Now, can we all be adults over here, sit at the table and talk? ”
“Who do you think you are to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do?”
“I don’t care who you think I am, but know that I’ll be your death if you hurt my wife in any way.”
Sophie might’ve smoothed out my ragged corners over these weeks and added a whole lot of color into my life, but the darkness is still there, and I’ll gladly unleash it to protect what’s mine.
Vassar doesn’t say anything back but turns and takes a seat at the dining table. Kira quickly follows him with a shit-eating grin on her face as if she was thoroughly enjoying her husband’s outburst.
I will never admit that out loud, but she’s the most terrifying person I’ve ever met in my life and those smiles are not fooling me in the slightest.
Sophie told me all about her being a big shot chef and owning a million restaurants, but she never mentioned the demons lurking behind those green eyes.
“I’ll go make that coffee now,” I say, kissing Sophie’s parted lips.
“Okay, I really need to use a restroom. Do you think you could stay in the same room and not kill each other while I pee?”
Vassar gives his sister a too-much-information look while I kiss her again, telling her it will be okay. She nods and quickly scurries into the bathroom as I take out mugs for that coffee.
“How old are you?” he starts the questionnaire before Sophie’s out of earshot.
“Thirty-four.”
“At least I’m older,” he mutters, making my lips tip up. “Been married before?” And just like that the atmosphere in here changes.
I swallow hard and shake my head. “No.”
“Do you have kids?”
The mug I was holding thumps hard against the wooden countertop. “No.”
“Do you love my sister?” I take a deep breath, my back stiffens as I bring my gaze to his, but no words come out. “It’s a very easy question that you’re taking way too long to answer, Callum. ”
My eyes never waver from Vassar’s intense stare. He’s protective of his little sister, that much is obvious—and to that much I can relate.
But I—
“Oh, he loves her all right,” Kira coos from the side, drawing both out attentions her way as she tilts her head, studying me with her no-less intense gaze. “It’s as clear as day, Vassar.”
My heart gallops out of my chest, beating wildly and recklessly against its confinement.
Kira’s wrong.
I don’t love her.
No, I can’t love her.
I can’t love anyone. Because loving means losing, and I can’t lose Sophie.
Vassar frowns at his wife but she speaks again before either of us can, still studying me. “Whatever it is that’s holding you back, you have to leave it in the past where it belongs. Keep the memories, but not the hurt.”
“I-I have no idea what you’re—”
“Save your words for someone else. You could never fool someone who faced the bottom of the ocean the same way you did.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “How did you—”
“Save it,” she stops me. “Save that story for her.” Kira nods toward approaching Sophie.
Vassar sits there, quietly fuming, but regards me with a new look. One so similar to his wife’s, it’s unnerving, but not with as deep an understanding, and I wonder who did Kira lose to the ocean?
“Why do you all look so serious?” Sophie asks, worrying that pout lip again as she takes her seat at the table.
Vassar’s gaze lingers on me a beat longer before he turns to his sister. “Are you happy?” he asks her, and Sophie blinks, taken aback by the sudden change in the mood.
“Y-yes.” She clears her throat, stealing a quick glance at me. “I am. Clover makes me happy.”
Just like that…that’s all it takes for my heart to settle down. Just Sophie, next to me. Just Sophie, saying I make her happy .
She gave me so much more than I deserved, the guilt starts scratching at my soul with maddening force.
“I can’t believe you got married without me,” Vassar tells her, and when I detect a note of sadness, the guilt breaks through.
“It’s not real.” The words tumble out of me in a hushed rumble.
The world inside our apartment stops for a second.
“What did you just say?” Vassar asks slowly as I hear Sophie gasp.
“It’s not real,” I repeat, this time louder. “The marriage. It’s fake. I got Sophie into this scheme. So, don’t be furious with her. She was only helping me, but it’s not real. So, she didn’t get married without you.”
The words hurt more than they should.
“Fake,” Vassar deadpans, as if he has no other words. But that’s more than Sophie, who’s staring at me with those wide brown eyes, her mouth opening and closing a million times with no sound coming out.
“Yes, fake,” I tell Vassar and then turn to Kira. “And you were wrong,” I add the other part with my eyes, not words.
To my surprise, the dead silence gets pierced by Kira’s laugh.
Loud and untamed. “Oh my God!” She laughs even harder, smacking the table and then her husband’s arm, almost sending him to the ground from his chair.
“V-Vassar, your sister has you beat! You only m-managed to be f-fake dating and she got f-fake married!” Kira’s laughing so hard she’s wheezing out the words.
But same can’t be said about her husband, who’s slowly returning to life after the bomb I dropped.
“Explain,” he tells Sophie, his identical to her brown eyes drilling into her.
Sophie sends me a death glare and then bites her bottom lip, plastering a forced smile on her face. “Like brother, like sister?” she says with fake cheer that doesn’t amuse her brother at all.
Kira only laughs harder, clutching her stomach. “God, this is pure gold!”
“What the hell, Sophia? Was he threatening you?” He starts to get up from the table to—no doubt—punch me, but Sophie catches his arm.
“No, no! It wasn’t like that!”
“Then how?”
She swallows hard. “He needed my help, and at the time I thought this would be a good idea to show you I was stable and all that.”
He turns to look at her. “Solid plan,” Vas deadpans, and Sophie winces.
“Funny, that’s exactly what Grace said.”
“Speaking of your troublemaker twin! Where is she? No doubt this was her brilliant idea!”
“No!” Sophie shouts, getting out of her chair. “No! Grace doesn’t know. In fact”—he gives me that glare again—“no one knows. And we’d like to keep it that way.”
“Why?” Vassar looks from her to me.
“Because it will ruin everything. Please, Vassar, you can’t tell Grace or anyone else while you’re here.”
“And for how long is this supposed to go on?”
“A year.”
“A fucking year?” Vassar shrieks.
“Well, eleven months now.” She bites the inside of her cheek.
“Jesus Christ!” Her brother slumps back into his seat with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But you’re sleeping with him!” Vassar accuses.
Yeah, that definitely sounded accusing.
“Careful here,” I growl.
Sophie shrugs. “Um, yeah.”
“I cannot believe this.”
“I’m an adult! I know what I’m doing, Vassar!”
There’s a long stretch of silence as his eyes volley from his sister, over to me and back again.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I don’t think you do.
” Sophie opens her mouth to argue but he raises his hand.
“But you’re right, you are an adult. So, I’ll let you find out the hard way about how little you know here, Sophie. ”
While my fake wife looks confused by what he means, I’ve knowing the meaning to his words from day one of our marriage.
“I’ll take that coffee now,” Vassar tells me.
“Where are the munchkins?” Sophie asks them after we all settled at the table.
“With their uncle Julius and auntie Kate.”
“Aw, I’d prefer it if it was the other way around. You stay with Uncle Julius and Auntie Kate, and the munchkins came to see me. I miss them way more than you.”
“Nice,” Vas deadpans, and Sophie rolls her lips.
“What? It’s the truth.”
“We didn’t want to drag them all this way for just a day,” Kira says.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re in the middle of opening a new restaurant and could only take this one day to come see you since you weren’t answering your phone. I guess now I know why.” Vassar sighs, still giving me that look that makes me nervous.
“So you’re leaving tonight?” Sophie asks with sadness in her tone.
She might not show it, but she misses her family a lot. I know she does, especially the kids.
“Yeah, we came on our own plane so we can leave pretty late, but we do have to be back in New York by the morning.”
“Oh.”
“Maybe we can come visit sometime soon?” The words leave my lips before I can think better of it, and when Sophie’s eyes light up like that, I can’t bring myself to regret them.
“Really?”
“You’d do that?” Vassar raises an eyebrow.
I clear my throat, “Yeah, I’d like to meet all five of those munchkins.”
“Three,” Kira corrects me. “You’ll meet three munchkins.”
“But I thought…” I turn to Sophie. “You said they have five kids?” I frown, looking questioningly at Sophie.
“Oh, we do,” Kira answers with a sad smile. “But two of our kids have been taken by the ocean.” She gives me a knowing look that sends a chill down my spine.
She knows. But how ?
“I lost my first child before I got to meet them. And so did Vassar. There are choices made by others in our lives that we bare consequence to. And these are ours, but they will always be our kids.”
She knows—and lived through—too much.
“I guess that’s settled then.” Vassar breaks our silent eye-contact with Kira, and Sophie smiles brightly. One of those smiles that pushes all the gray out of my life.
I thought telling her brother the truth would be difficult, but he took the news surprisingly well. When Vassar left to take a call from their restaurant, Kira explained all about their fake relationship back in New York, and I’ve got to admit it was quite hilarious.
“Well, show us this town you traded New York for,” Vas tells Sophie, and soon enough, we’re walking across Loverly Cave. From store to store, from one café to the other, to the diner where Sophie does indeed rub the grilled cheese into her brother’s face until he admits that it is quite good.
We end up meeting all of the crazy locals who’ve already heard about my wife’s brother coming to town. My friends included, and to the surprise of no one, Luke bonded quite nicely with Vassar while Kira enjoyed her time with Joy Levine.
It’s not until the very end of the day, when we’re finally alone and saying goodbye to them.
Vassar had pulled Sophie away, no doubt giving her a pep talk but I hadn’t noticed the one I was just about to get.
“There’s one thing you should know about me,” Kira says, sliding up next to me to watch Vas and Sophie.
“And what’s that?”
“I’m never wrong.” She turns to look at me. “You love her.”
“I—” She cuts me off.
“You want to say you don’t?” Kira quirks an eyebrow. “Fine. Go ahead. Keep saying that. But if you think eleven months is a long time, think again. And when those are over…what then?”
I swallow hard, turning my gaze back to Sophie who’s now laughing at something her brother has said. She’s in those same sweatpants she wore when we got married with daisies on them and her old Converse. Her hair is sticking out in every direction from the wind .
She’s a mess, as usual. The most beautiful mess.
I swallow hard, looking away from them. “I’m no good for her. I can’t give her what she wants, Kira.”
“Can’t you? Think carefully which fear outweighs the other. The fear to allow yourself to love again, or the fear of losing her?”
Without awaiting my response, she strolls away, and Vassar approaches, switching his wife.
“I’m going to be blunt here, Callum. I have no idea what you two think you’re doing here, and to be honest I don’t think either one of you knows either. But”—he cuts a look my way—“if you ever dare to hurt my little sister, I’ll end you.”
I clear my throat, my eyes slightly shifting over him. “Mate, I mean no offense, but just one look from your wife over there is a lot scarier than this threat.”
Vassar sighs, closing his eyes briefly as he turns toward her. “Kira, love, do you mind? I need to do this whole older brother thing here!”