39. Sophie

Sophie

“Hockey is a metaphor for life. You have to be willing to get knocked down and get back up.” – Mike Eruzione

I hear the door click shut soon after Callum kissed me goodbye, thinking I was still asleep.

I wasn’t.

I hadn’t slept the whole night.

There’s no sleeping when you realize your life isn’t what you wanted it to be once again.

How do I always get myself into this situation? How do I always manage to fuck up my own life? Am I some kind of unlucky charm? Maybe that’s it. Maybe I am cursed!

The problem is, it doesn’t feel like a fuck-up.

Ever since I arrived in Loverly Cave, I’ve felt a sense of belonging, like I’ve finally met my kind of people. And ever since I met Callum, I’ve felt…at home.

But more than that, I’ve felt accepted. Even with all my crazy and chaos, I’ve felt accepted.

And now I feel empty.

My heart truly hurts for what happened to his family all those years ago. I’d never take away from it. Never. And that’s why I allow my heart to break and bleed, because I’ll never take him away from them .

The sun plays peek-a-boo with the early morning clouds, alerting me to the life outside this bed, and soon enough, my phone rings with a call from Grace like it does every morning, interrupting my inner therapy. But unlike every other morning, I don’t pick it up this time.

I don’t have it in me to be colorful and happy today.

Glancing down at the ring on my finger, I sigh, flipping to my back and staring at the dark navy ceiling. How am I supposed to do this for another eleven months?

Alcohol.

I’ll need lots and lots of alcohol.

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