Chapter 4
Merc
When we planned our wedding, we didn’t plan for Neo to be pregnant. The timing was somehow perfect, because she wasn’t showing yet, and a lot of our excursions and activities could be adjusted to accommodate her.
The last time we were in Bali, all I cared about was my baby coming back to me.
Coming back to herself. To see her thriving now and pregnant again was a blessing, but I couldn’t lie and say a part of me wasn’t nervous.
I didn’t know if she’d have another bout with postpartum depression again.
If she did, I’d be with her every step of the way, but I couldn’t lie and say watching her suffer didn’t make me feel helpless.
I hated not being able to instantly carry that load for her.
I took pride in being a problem solver, a protector, and watching the woman I loved battle her own body, mind, and emotions was hard as fuck.
So hard I would have been okay with us not having any more children, but I knew she wanted more, and I did too.
I just wished there was a way for me to know she’d be okay after she gave birth.
Her doctor assured us that though the chance of her having it again was increased, it also was a possibility she wouldn’t have it, because her symptoms weren’t overly severe the first time.
Either way, she, our doula, and midwife were already locked in and preparing and doing all they could to make Neo’s pregnancy and delivery as peaceful and healthy as possible.
Crazy as it might be, the moment she told me she was pregnant again, that announcement immediately put me into prayer mode.
I’d been praying and talking to God more every day now than I ever had in my life.
If nothing else, this second pregnancy was likely going to bring me closer to Him, because I was relying on Him to keep me steady while I remained the strength my family needed.
“You ready, brotha?” Asylum asked, gripping my shoulder.
As long as Neo and I had been together, and as much of a life as we’d already built, I didn’t think I’d be nervous on our wedding day.
I was. Being in a committed relationship was one thing, but marriage was altogether different.
Regardless of how people tried to downplay the significance of signing that license, things changed immediately when a couple did.
Not only that, but they took those vows to God.
He’d given me the perfect woman for me, the most perfect daughter and son, and now we had another little bundle on the way.
I was confident in my abilities as a man, father, and husband, but a little pressure was sitting on a nigga’s chest as I waited to head to the bamboo nest. Leave it to Asylum to be the one to notice.
Nodding, I avoided his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Lie again.”
Chuckling, I shook my head as he sat next to me. “I’m ready. Just . . . taking in the magnitude of the moment, feel me? I’m about to be somebody’s husband. Not just somebody, but the woman of my dreams. You know I don’t play about Neo.”
“I know that, and that’s also how I know you’re going to be a damn good husband. Maybe not perfect, because none of us are, but perfect for her and good, nonetheless.”
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until the words were actually said. I thanked him, then we stood and took shots with the rest of the crew. After that, the rest of them took the time to encourage and congratulate me before we headed out of our suite to the bamboo nest.
The open concept of the cocoon provided the river valley for its backdrop, and the water and trees were so beautiful. I instantly felt myself relax as I stared out into the serene view.
“You got this, brotha,” Bully said. “Neo is amazing, and I’m so proud of you for not giving up on love and letting her in.”
I was already unexpectedly emotional, and him saying that shit only made it worse. Usually, I was straightforward and direct, never holding back my words and opinions. At that point, all I could do was nod, shake his hand, and let it lead to a hug.
Karrington peered at me with unsurety in his eyes.
Out of all of us, he was the one always in protector and independent mode, never wanting anyone looking out for him.
But you could always depend on him to look out for you.
I knew it was only a matter of time before he and Beethoven would be in my ear too.
Thankfully, the classical piece Neo chose for Eyela to play started, which meant my baby was about to make her way to me.
My eyes shifted over the audience before the sight of the most handsome ring bearer caught my attention.
Pride immediately consumed me at the sight of my son looking just as dapper as his daddy.
He did such a good job walking down the aisle.
After taking the rings from him, I picked him up and gave him a lingering hug and kiss before letting him walk over to his mother.
She and I were getting along just as well as we always had before her bullshit ass relationship started and ended, and Aries had gotten close to Neo as well.
Next was the ballerina flower girl, well woman, and I had to admit the shit was dope as fuck. Then, the bridal party came down, and my heart slowed its pace. I suspected the opposite would have been the case.
No.
When my eyes landed on my beautiful bride, peace and calm centered me.
All I could do was smile and shed tears of joy and gratitude as Neo made her way to me.
I loved me some Neo. She was truly my greatest treasure.
I’d blow the whole fucking world up behind her and not give it a second thought.
There was literally nothing I wouldn’t do for this woman, and her agreeing to be my wife was only going to make me come twice as hard behind her and our kids.
As she finally made her way in front of me, all the nerves that had consumed me for the day immediately released. Because that was what she did and who she was to me. My peace. My closest and most intimate friend. My partner. My lover. My reward. And now . . . my wife.