32. Olly #2
“I-I misspoke, I’m sorry. Of course you’re Bea’s father.
I was under the impression that you wanted Olly to terminate, and you showed zero interest in being a Dad ever since she decided to keep the pregnancy.
” Well, shit. Nothing to do for it. I had to get out there.
I headed down the hall to meet the tall green-eyed man who embraced me, and for a moment I feel like a child, safe and in a place where no harm is possible.
“Clark,” I murmur, and just revel in the feeling of being in his arms for a minute more. “I think it’s past due that the three of us have a sit-down, don’t you? I can even make the tea.”
“Oh, no you won’t,” Shepard interjected. “You’re going to sit and rest. I’ll make the tea.”
“Fine,” I replied. “But you know that we’re going to have to go to the studio sooner than later.
And I have the pics on my phone I have to show you.
Oh, and I don’t want tea. I’d like apple juice.
Bea is going to have me turning into a giant apple before this pregnancy is over, I swear.
I just offered tea in case either of you wanted some. ”
“Actually, apple juice sounds great, if there’s enough to go around,” Clark said, and Shepard nodded.
So within a few moments there we were, in Shepard’s cozy living room, each holding a glass of juice and waiting for one of us to crack.
The undercurrent of tension was obvious, but its origins less so.
“Okay, this is getting stupider by the minute,” I said.
“I’m about to pop a baby in a few weeks, and you guys are squabbling about what?
Who doesn’t get to be the father? Shepard, I didn’t see this coming.
I didn’t even think you thought of yourself as part of this unconventional family until I saw the portrait.
And Clark, I didn’t anticipate how much that Will reading would impact you.
Obviously seeing your last name attached to hers has made you open to possibilities you hadn’t considered. ”
Both men started talking at once. “Whoa!” I said, then drained my apple juice and almost slammed the cup down on the coffee table. “The vibes flying around this room are enough to make me seasick, and I don’t want Bea hearing or sensing any bullshit. Shepard, go first, because this is your house.”
Shepard put his cup down, much easier than I had.
“Okay, so I think in order for him to understand what we’re dealing with, he needs to see the portrait.
” Shepard got to his feet, and extended a hand to me, to help pull me up from the armchair I’d sunk into.
Clark got to his feet next, and walked over, entwining our fingers together.
Shepard noticed and gave a bit of a sardonic grin. “You know, our bed is large enough to—"
“Shepard, kindly fuck off with whatever this attitude is.” Clark threw down.
“Maybe you only just realized that you’re in love with her when she wasn’t around for you to be with every night.
Or maybe you weren’t ready for her to love someone else, especially when you got her pregnant, but the truth is, I’m ready to step up and be whatever she needs or wants from me.
Are you? Before you answer, really think on it.
She’s been with you since she was what, seventeen?
So if you are ready to take that next step, I encourage you to ask her.
I don’t want to be at the centre of any unnecessary drama, especially with the baby coming. ”
Shepard managed to look like a cross between cornered prey, and a predator that wanted to rip out the throat of its rival.
“Shep, let’s show him the portrait, okay? He needs to see it. He needs to understand.” Shepard met my eyes and I saw tears starting to pool in them. A few tears spilled over, running down his cheeks. Fuck. “It’ll be okay. I’ll explain the portrait.”
We filed into the room, and Clark’s eyes widened comically as he looked at the portrait—or, it would have been comical if he also didn’t start immediately crying.
I dropped Shepard’s hand and pulled Clark into a hug, and the two of us stood around him, protecting Clark from what he obviously wasn’t ready to see.
Shepard murmured, “It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in, believe me.
I painted it and didn’t get it at all really until Olly explained it. ”
Uh-oh. We were approaching it, the moment of truth.
Time to not be a wuss. Goddess, help me.
Taking the bull by the horns, I moved both of my hands to Clark’s shoulder.
“We’re going to turn you around, and I’m going to talk you through this.
It’ll be okay, alright? Nothing in that picture can hurt us, only make us understand each other better. ”
“It’s beautiful,” Clark said, choking down his tears.
“Rosie though. That’s my baby sister, Rosie.
She’s what, seven or eight in this...we had so few photos of her.
My parents, we were on the run her whole childhood.
We were hiding from this crazy cult, and—” The crashing of Shepard’s glass of apple juice took us all by surprise.
He managed to apologize, and I shook my head.
“It’s okay, we’ll clean it later. No one step anywhere, and I’ll grab the vacuum in a minute,” I said. “Clark, go on, please.”
“May I take a picture of this, on my phone?”
“Of course you can. I’d be honoured,” Shepard replied.
“The girl next to Rosie, that’s—”
“Rosie’s namesake, Beatrice Rose. Who is at present blowing bubbles or something, because it feels tickly and peaceful in there, like she’s happy,” I said.
“The other girl, that’s Maya, the baby who died inside me.
She was special of course, but not to people like the cult.
She was special because she was just herself, and I could have sworn I saw her future laid out.
Instead, I see her now and then in dreams, or as an apparition, but hardly ever, usually only once a year or so ever since I was fourteen and lost her. ”
“An apparition?” Shepard interrupted. “Now we’re saying that ghosts are real, too? Fuck, McLeod. How do you expect me to accept all of this after all I did was paint one family portrait?” Shepard was shaking his head and had one hand up between him and I.
I don’t know what about Shepard’s comment set me off, but I practically growled at him, “I don’t expect you to ‘accept’ anything.
Some people you can’t convince it’s raining, even as they get soaked.
I mean, what the hell do you think my brother is?
” I could feel myself shaking, and speaking of precipitation, I felt the first snowflakes on my cheeks before I saw the strength of the storm.
Shepard just stared around in wonder, but Clark yelled,
“The painting! Fuck, get the tarp on it!”
“No!” Shepard yelled back, “It’s not fully dry, it will get smeared all to hell!”
“So getting snowed on is better?”
“Why the fuck is it snowing inside?” Shepard looked at me, and for the first time in twelve years I saw the thing in his eyes I most dreaded: fear.
He was afraid of me. Energy crackled around me, and I could feel myself levitating off the floor by about two feet or so.
Snow was coming down everywhere, and I felt almost outside my body, powerless and riding this psychic storm as much as the other two.
“Oh my god, she’s floating. It’s not just her hair going all super saiyan or whatever, Olly is fucking floating.
Does she have any idea what she is doing? ”
Clark just shook his head. “I’ve only seen this twice. Both times she was pregnant, and I’ve come to suspect that Bea might be doing it. Olly told me it never happened before. I mean you would have noticed something like this in the twelve years you were together, right?”
“Um, yeah! And Clark, you don’t have to pull any hostile shit with me.
She’s obviously in love with you. She broke it off with me to have a chance with you, after all.
I mean, at least that was my takeaway. She never said it in so many words.
So I’m sorry for what I said earlier. Can you try to get her down?
I can stand behind her, and catch her if she falls in that direction. And be careful of the damn glass.”
“I’ll try,” Clark said, and reached his arms up to the family he loved.