Chapter 32 #2
“What about you?” I asked, deflecting. “It must’ve been amazing to grow up in a home like Sunford Manor.”
Alex sighed, but he didn’t look nostalgic about recounting his history, not like I’d been.
“My upbringing was very different to yours, I’m afraid.
Yes, we had money, but as we both know, money isn’t everything.
It can’t buy you happiness. My mother wasn’t very maternal.
Don’t get me wrong, she loved me, but she didn’t really show it through affection.
And my father was too in love with my mother to make room for anyone else.
He could be a harsh and cruel man, but not to her.
Never to her. He treated her like a queen.
It was quite fitting that they died together.
I don’t think they’d have survived without each other. ”
He paused to sip his drink, then added, “I was sent away to boarding school as soon as I was old enough. I spent more time with strangers than I ever did with my parents. But they created me. I suppose I should be grateful for that.”
It was heartbreaking to hear him talk about his past in such a detached way. Like it was something he just had to get through. There was no love, no affection. It was the polar opposite of my childhood.
“You have so many beautiful paintings of your mother’s to remember her by, though,” I said, trying to be positive.
“She loved painting. She never painted me, though. Her passions lay elsewhere.”
He didn’t think she thought about him. And from the pensive look on his face, that still affected him.
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about the past,” I ventured, not wanting to taint the magical mood of the evening.
“You’re right,” he mused. “The future is more appealing.”
The hint of a boyish grin graced his handsome face as he stared at me in the subtle light of the space we were sitting, the golden glow making him look even more striking. Butterflies fluttered inside me, and I dipped my gaze, feeling the intensity of the moment.
“You said you wanted to get to know me after that first night,” I asked. “But why? There were a lot of beautiful women at that event.”
Alex shook his head and give a wry smile as if he disagreed.
“You’re a beautiful woman too, Emma,” he replied, as I peered up and got lost in his mesmerising stare once again.
“To me, you were the most beautiful one there that night. And I don’t make it a habit of getting to know new people.
I like to keep my circle tight. But with you, I had to make an exception. ”
“I’d heard you were an exclusive group.”
“From Lloyd,” he scoffed. “The biggest ass kisser I’ve ever met, aside from your old boss, that is.”
I couldn’t disagree with that.
“Do you know he calls you three the trio?” I asked.
“Fucking hate that he does that. And he’s the only one.”
“I think he wants in on that trio,” I joked.
“When hell freezes over,” Alex replied. “I’ve known Tobey and Ethan since boarding school. I’d trust them both with my life. You can’t say that about many people these days. At least, I can’t. Not in my position.”
“But you trust me?”
“I trust you.” His eyes mellowed. “You carried yourself with dignity that night, even when Lloyd was condescending towards you. You spoke honestly and freely, and you didn’t care what people thought. Then I had to watch you walk away, and when Lloyd left you alone...”
“You invited me to be with you to watch the performance. I remember.”
“Because nobody should be alone for something like that, especially not you. You’re a breath of fresh air, Emma. You don’t kiss ass, and I like that.”
“I never have. Maybe that’s my problem. I stayed in the same job for four years without a shred of hope of moving on. Meanwhile, others around me, that did kiss ass, did better.”
“You did the right thing, leaving. And when you’re ready for your next challenge, I can point you in the direction of the right people. Like I said, I have a lot of doors available.”
We chatted some more about our likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, and then another slow song came on, and Alex held his hand out to me.
“Will you dance with me?”
I glanced around at the twinkling lights in the trees above us and the darkness beyond it. “What, here?”
“Yes, here.” He laughed. “It’d ruin the mood if I had to drive us across town to a dance floor.” He leaned closer. “Stop overthinking and let go. No one else is here. Just me. And we might look ridiculous, but who cares.”
He was right.
Why hold back?
I wanted to let go with him.
I stood up and let him lead me off the blanket to the grass, and he put his arms around me, swaying us both to the music.
It felt so right, being in his arms like this, feeling the warmth of his body against mine.
I had my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and as my fingers grazed his neck, he sighed.
“I like this,” he said quietly. “It feels right. You feel right.”
I knew what this was leading to, and I had to ask, “It feels strange being relaxed like this when everything has been so messed up. Is our timing off?”
“Not at all. I think our timing is perfect. This is happening right when we need it.” He pulled away to look down at me as he continued to hold me.
“Life can be simple. We can make it simple. We just need to make the right choices, for us.” And then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.
“And this is the right choice. I know it is.”
He cupped my face in his hands, and then, the ghost of his lips on mine turned into a proper kiss, a toe-curling kiss. His perfect, soft lips caressed and teased me until I fell headfirst, opening my mouth to him.
Our tongues tangled and teased as we tasted each other. My body grew needy as his hands threaded through my hair, pulling me closer and deeper into his kiss. As caressing turned more frantic and greedy, I fisted his hair, too, wanting more.
We stood under the fairy lights and the stars in the night sky, igniting something which had been sparking between us ever since we’d met.
I could’ve kissed this man forever.
It felt like his kiss was hypnotising me.
Pulling me into a magical world where nothing else mattered, only him.
The rest of the world fell away as we held onto each other, devouring each other.
But I wanted more. Wetness pooled between my thighs as we kissed.
Promises of what came next teasing me until all I could think about was getting home, letting him take me to bed, feeling him inside me, driving me wild.
I wanted it all. I felt reckless and wanted to get lost in him.
Eventually, he pulled away slightly, and with his face close to mine, he whispered, “Your lips are so soft. Soft and gentle, just like your heart.”
“Promise you’ll take care of them,” I whispered back, and he sighed as he closed his eyes for a beat, and the flicker of a solemn smile graced his beautiful lips.
“I’ll guard them with my life.”
He leaned forward again to kiss me, slowly. A true kiss that showed he meant what he said, then he pulled away to look down at me.
“It’s getting late. We should head home.”
I wasn’t going to disagree.
I glanced at the blanket with the food wrappers and glasses, and he read my mind as he said, “Don’t worry about all this. I have staff on-call, ready to come and pack it all away and leave the park tidy. Come on.”
He held my hand, threading his fingers through mine as he led me back through the park.
“It must be nice to have people at your beck and call,” I mused as we strolled in the moonlight.
“It’s nicer to have someone by my side,” he replied and as he glanced to the side, at me, the last brick in my wall crumbled away.
When we got to the car, he kissed me gently before opening my door. Then he got in the car and smiled across at me as the engine roared to life.
We drove home listening to his playlist as we both grinned to ourselves and made small talk. And when we pulled up outside the manor, I didn’t wait for him to open my door, I got out and went to him, holding his hand as he led me up the steps to the front door.
Once inside, he kept hold of my hand as we walked up the staircase and down the corridor to my room.
Or were we heading to his room?
I really didn’t care at this point. I just wanted to be with him.
When we got to my door, he stopped and took my face in his hands.
“Tonight has been... amazing,” he said, leaning forward to kiss me. It was a slow and sexy kiss, his tongue stroking mine as he tasted me.
But then he pulled away.
“Goodnight, Emma.”
He kissed my forehead, then let go of me and took a step back.
My racing, hopeful heart gave a painful twist as he turned and walked away.
He wasn’t going to take this further.
Did I need to speak up?
To be the one to say, ‘Stop, Alex, I want this’.
Maybe I was, but when I opened my mouth, I couldn’t bring myself to utter a sound. I watched him walk to his door, open it, and disappear inside, and the words I wanted to say stayed in my heart and went unspoken.