Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Zaiah
“I don’t think I heard you correctly,” she slurs.
I stare into her innocent blue eyes, then track down to her lips. Every fiber in my being wants to kiss her, but not while she’s in this state, and I certainly don’t want to so she can pretend it’s because of that dick. “It’s okay. I’ll explain it some other time. Put your feet up here.” I pat the couch.
She takes a deep breath, watching me as I move away. As soon as I create space between us, the mounting tension releases, like a balloon has just been popped. I sit, and she pulls her feet up rather expertly, given her state. I grab them, placing them on my lap.
She giggles when I slide my fingers across her ankle, slumping on the couch. “My feet are sensitive.”
I have to close my eyes for a moment to help minimize the fact that I want to find out which dorm Clark is in and pummel the motherfucker. Seeing how fragile Lenore is right now coupled with the way she’s dressed makes me think he doesn’t have a protective bone in his scrawny little body. Crime on campus is minimal, but her heels might as well be weapons to herself right now.
I work on the small clasps, keeping my mind on the task at hand. If I let it wander, I might do something we’ll regret, so I change the subject. “I’m glad you were able to let loose tonight. Did you have fun?”
“I had fun when you got there, but Clark was a dud the entire night.” She frowns. “First, he was mad I invited you, then he made it perfectly clear he didn’t want to be there. I think I embarrassed him and then I made the biggest mistake ever, Zaiah. It was embarrassing. I am embarrassing.”
I smirk at the part where he didn’t want me to come, but the rest of it pisses me off. “You aren’t embarrassing. You were letting loose. There’s a difference.”
She runs her fingers over the sequins at her front, pouting. “He didn’t even compliment my dress. He made comments about it, but none were exactly flattering. He probably thought it was too slutty.”
I nearly grind my teeth together. If I look at that dress for too long, I’m going to want to kiss her. I swallow, peering back at the clasp. “He’s a dumbass.”
“Zaiah…”
I finally slip the clip out and get the first shoe off, dumping it to the floor. “I’m serious.” I couldn’t give a shit about Clark.
She’s quiet for a moment while I work on the other shoe. I don’t know why they make these clasps so damn small. My fingers are too big. They should have drunk-girl shoes where the buckles are ten times the size.
“Zaiah…” She uses her other foot to push the strap down her heel and slips easily out of it.
I gape at her. “You could do that the entire time?”
She ignores me and asks, “Do you recognize this dress?”
I swallow, peering at it briefly before moving my gaze to her face. “You look great in it, Len. Don’t let that asshole—”
“Never mind,” she sighs before I can even finish my thought.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She reaches out her hands, and I pull her to a seated position.
Instead of staying upright, though, she cozies up to me, dropping her head on my shoulder and twisting her legs underneath her. The vulnerability wafting off her pricks at my protective side. I lift my arm, and she moves in closer, laying her head on my chest.
My heart kicks into gear, and I drop my arm to her shoulder, rubbing my thumb up and down her skin.
“There are things I wish I could tell you,” she mumbles.
She’s killing me. If she was sober, I’d let her say anything she wanted. I’d kiss her without hesitation. I’d tell her she should drop Clark and go with me. There’s something here, and she feels it, too. The way she’s cuddling me. The way she looks at me. I swallow. “You can tell me when you’re feeling more yourself.”
“That’s the thing. I am more myself.” She picks her head up to stare into my eyes. “Usually, there are all these thoughts swirling in my head, but I push them down. Way down. They’re coming out easier now.”
I run my hand along her temple and down over her ear. “I don’t want you to regret anything you might say. I want you to mean it.”
She reaches up, cupping my cheek. “You’re so handsome, hockey player.”
“Lenore, you —” I start, thinking of all the things I want to say to her. How pretty she is. How smart she is. How she’s far and away the brightest part of my life right now.
“Don’t.” She pulls back. “I know it’s not true. Unless you were going to call me boring, then continue. But no lies right now, okay? No lies. Promise?”
She doesn’t even see herself. “You are the furthest thing from boring, Lenore. Don’t you see that? Look at you. Whether you’re wearing this dress, leggings, or your baggy T-shirts, it doesn’t matter. You’re beautiful, and no one should make you feel otherwise. Not me. Not Clark. Not anyone. You’re the same as you’ve always been, except you’re more confident. You’re practically glowing. Len, you’re gorgeous.”
Her eyes widen. She stares at me for the longest time, pressing her lips together. “I wanted someone to see me, you know?”
“ I see you.”
Her gaze drops to my lips, and my heart hammers. I’m trying so hard to be a good guy. “Before you look at me like that, I have something to say. Clark doesn’t see you.” I reach out to brush my fingers along her cheeks. “He made you feel less today, and someone who likes you would never want you to feel less. You should be able to invite whoever you want to go out. You should dance under the bubbles, and a real man would never leave a girl outside her dorm like that.”
She pushes air through her lips until they vibrate briefly.
“Clark doesn’t deserve you. Tonight, he showed you the kind of boyfriend he would be. Is this how you want to feel after a night with him?”
“He was mean,” she agrees, then lifts her pretty blue eyes to me. “I only had fun with you.”
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Does that tell you something, sweetie?”
“It tells me I would have fun with you, but you don’t like me like that. You never have.”
My fingers sink into her upper arm, bringing her close. “What do you mean I never have?”
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
Not likely.
My stomach dips, and she looks away, red staining her cheeks. “What would you do if you knew I liked you?”
Turning back, she eyes my lips. “Kiss you. Like I’ve been wanting to.”
I thread my fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. Her lids flutter closed at the contact, like she’s anticipating the most precious moment.
Fuck my scruples.
I hover over her mouth. “I’d do the same.” Then I slide my lips over hers.
A softness greets me, reminding me of sweet innocence. Of purity. I want what lies underneath. True emotion and feeling. I nudge at her lips, begging her to open for me, and when she does, I tip her head back, sweeping my tongue inside her. She moans into my mouth, and my dick responds. Fuck.
She grabs my shirt and angles forward, meeting my lips with hungry kisses of her own. Our tongues clash, and my heart beats like crazy. I work my fingers into her hair, tugging her closer, keeping her there until I’m ravishing her mouth. I kiss her like she deserves to be kissed, filled with passion, and I’ve awakened a vixen.
“Zaiah,” she whispers against my lips, her breaths coming in harsh pants before she seals her mouth to mine again. Tiny moans rip from her throat, breathy and intoxicating. Her body starts to move with mine, and I yank her dress up to her hips, moving her so she can straddle my lap.
She breaks the kiss, wide-eyed. I can see the point when the vixen retreats and rational Len takes over. Her lips plump and open, she takes a deep breath before saying, “You’re a great kisser. I knew you would be.”
I run my fingers underneath her chin, making her look at me again. “It wasn’t just me.”
“You think I’m good too?”
“I’m hard as a fucking rock, sweetie.”
Her gaze drops to my lap. “Well, that’s a normal physical reaction. It’s our brain chemistry that sends pleasure signals through our body and—”
“It was you, Lenore,” I tell her, pulling her forward so she can feel what she did to me. My dick meets yielding flesh, and I use everything in my power not to take this further. Not tonight.
She gasps. “Oh my—” Rocking forward, she moves my cock. “I didn’t think that was ever going to happen.”
“You thought about this?” I rasp, watching her slide over me, slow and steady.
She nods. “Even when you were with her.”
I grip her hips. I don’t want this moment to end.
Her breaths deepen. “I would want to touch myself thinking about you.”
Jesus Christ . I roll my body upward to feel her, and another soft gasp escapes her mouth.
“Did you…”
She shakes her head. “It felt wrong. You were—”
“With the wrong person,” I finish, angling my hips into her again. Something inside me mends when I think about Len waiting in the wings while I was ruining my life with Trish. Like a higher power was looking out for me the entire time, lingering to see if I’d get my head on straight, and Len is the prize for all the anguish and mindfuck I went through. “Show me now,” I urge.
“I shouldn’t. I can’t.”
“Look at me, sweetie.” Her eyes open, and somehow, the connection between us sparks even brighter. “I want you to.”
“Zaiah…” She swallows, gripping my shoulders. “I’d be embarrassed.”
“Do you feel good right now? Working over my cock?”
She peers down, and she gasps a little when she realizes she’s still moving her hips against mine. “I’m sorry.” She stops immediately, but then she groans a few moments later. “I want it. I can’t stop.”
“Don’t stop, pretty girl.” I guide her over me again, but she takes control.
“You don’t know how many times I thought about this.”
“Show me. Show me there was something better out there for me.”
Wonder lights her gaze. “Better?”
“So much better.”
I wait with bated breath until her hand snakes down between us. She circles her fingers over her clit, slowly at first, then picking up speed. Her mouth opens in a silent moan, head falling back.
“Let me hear you. I want it all.”
Her fingers don’t falter. They swirl faster, matching her release of breaths. “Zaiah, oh. Yes.” A long moan escapes. “Please.”
I grit my teeth to keep from moving with her as she continues to rock against me.
Within no time, her movements become jerky.
“Yes. Yes,” she pants.
Fuck. I love to see her like this. No inhibitions, just beautiful, sensual pleasure. The noises clawing from her throat are addictive, and I can’t tear my gaze away.
“I’m going to—” She lets out a short scream before collapsing on top of me, hips moving ever so slowly against mine.
Surprise ricochets through me. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, and I hold her, tightening my arms around her protectively. That was so quick. So responsive. “Sweetie, that was all for me. That was so perfect.”
She moans into my chest, her fingers clawing into my pec like she wants to be even closer.
My thoughts exactly. I stand, and she wraps her legs around my waist, but she immediately pulls away, eyes wide. “You can pick me up.”
“Sweetie, you weigh nothing. I probably deadlift triple your weight.”
She barely contains a smirk as I carry her to her room. For a moment, I keep her in my arms. Her fingers lightly stroke the back of my neck. When I stare into her eyes, I see a whole new Len.
I was with the wrong girl the entire time. I know that with absolute certainty now.
Placing her down on the bed, I caress my fingers up her throat to her chin so she’ll look at me. “Thank you for sharing that with me. To watch you do that?” I swallow. “You don’t even know, Len.”
I’d been kicked around too long. Confidence in the dirt because of what Trish did to me, but to think there was someone there all along?
Her gaze drags down my body. “Do you want me to…”
Reaching for my dick, I squeeze it through my jeans. God, I want to let her. I want to see those innocent eyes stare up at me as she takes my cock into her mouth, but on the chance that she’s not one hundred percent sober, I can’t do it. Not for any gentlemanly reasons, but because I have a feeling her lips around me will be life changing, and if she retreats afterward, I won’t be able to stand it.
She reaches out, and I quickly grab her hands, lowering to kneel in front of her. “Not tonight, sweetie.”
Her lips press together. Rejection flashes in her eyes.
“No, listen.” I slide forward to cup her face. “I vow no one—not even myself—will touch me until you’re ready. Because this, right here, it’s all yours, Lenore.”
“What if I am ready?”
I brush my fingers over her cheekbone. “This is no judgment whatsoever. It’s my own possessiveness. Next time, it’ll be our date. You’ll squeeze your body into a dress like that for me. From start to finish, you’ll think about me and only me.”
“You’re mad about Clark?”
“I’m not mad about Clark. You’ve been in your bed, lying awake, thinking about us.”
“He was the safe choice,” she admits. “While you were…never going to happen.”
Her words punch a hole in my gut. She’s right. It took me being in her face twenty-four seven to see her. It makes me question my own judgment.
I start to stand, and she reaches out to grab my shoulder. “Stay with me tonight? Just to sleep?”
Nodding, I undress down to my boxers as she watches. When I start to slip into bed, she turns her back to me. “Can you get my zipper?”
I find the white tab at the top and pull it down slowly, revealing every inch of her bare back. My mouth goes dry.
“Thank you.”
I trace my finger down her back, and she shivers.
“No fair,” she breathes out. After a brief moment, she stands to grab a shirt. It’s dark in the corner without the light from the living room spilling in through the open door, but I see the outline of her body as she drops her dress then tugs on an oversized T-shirt.
Turning, she walks back over slowly, setting her glasses on the nightstand. She kneels on the bed before getting in and settling onto her pillow. I scoot closer, sliding in next to her and wrapping my arm around her midsection.
We both lie awake for some time, breaths steadily evening out. My lids start to flutter, but not until she’s already asleep next to me.