Chapter 34 - Scarlett
Scarlett
“How do you feel, Izbrannik Bozhiy?”
I stared out the window, my smile painful. I could still feel his cock inside me. I could feel how hard Kat scrubbed to rid me of Mr. Alascer’s cum. Cleansing me, he had said, for the next client.
It was the first time in my entire life I felt truly impure. Was it worth it? Not killing him so Rae could?
The uncertainty of that question had my stomach twisting, or perhaps what had my stomach twisting was the little part of me that had died when I hadn’t killed him.
I should have killed him.
Would Rae understand? I wasn’t sure. Olivia would have.
Emily would have, but Rae? That fire in her eyes was fierce.
It was warm when it needed to be, but painfully hot when it had to be.
I had seen the hatred in her eyes when she realized that she had been right about her father, but it was more than that.
Her revenge consisted of one person. Mine consisted of countless. It wouldn’t be fair for me to take that away from her after she waited so long, played Azrael’s game.
I could survive this. I would. Even if it was just bits and pieces of me that survived, it would be enough.
I needed to find a weapon. I had to find a weapon.
I turned to Kat, knowing lunch was soon. I had been in my room since Mr. Alascer’s meeting, missing the morning service and I couldn’t help but wonder what it had been about this morning.
“Ah, still smiling, I see. Good, good,” he chuckled. “Lady Elise will appreciate that. You know,” he shrugged, his face twisting into seriousness, “until she doesn’t.”
The threat had me wanting to roll my eyes. He was trying too hard to come across as this villain. Azrael would have delivered the line flawlessly.
Lady Elise would only ‘appreciate it’ until she realized that the only reason I was smiling was because she had no control over my mind.
The second she realized that truth, she would punish me until I stopped.
Until I broke. I was very aware of that.
The only problem was that I had been sure I wouldn’t up until I felt Mr. Alascer’s cock inside of me. Now?
I swallowed the fear and doubt, trying to rid myself of it. I would not break. I would not break.
“Let’s go. Lady Elise wants you ready for this afternoon.”
He stepped to one side, and I stared at the door, knowing exactly what would happen after lunch.
Control, I told myself. I had to control myself. This just meant that I would see Azrael again, and I so dearly missed him.
I missed him so much that it felt as if I had a hole in my chest and I wasn’t sure how I could fix that.
How could I fix it?
I had lunch in the exact same spot Mr. Alascer had pinned me down to. There was a pool of drool on the table where my face had been, and it was difficult to pull my eyes away from it.
Why Mr. Alascer? Why him of all people? And what would he do now that he knew we had his wife? Did he know that Marla and Malachi had an affair? Did he know that she had run to escape him only to be caught up in the same world? Did he know about her lover? Did Malachi?
I heard the lock flip on the front door and Kat immediately took my plate away, although I had barely touched my food anyway. Too many thoughts to bother with such a thing.
He grabbed my arm and forced me to my feet, turning me to face Lady Elise, who was watching me with a smug little smirk.
Did she think she had somehow won? What a ridiculous notion. In my Hysteric Wonderland, she was the rogue Nave, on a quest to destroy me. She would never succeed though, despite the fact that I was in her castle now, under her rule. Had she forgotten? I was still a Queen.
“Hello, Scarlett. Did you enjoy Mr. Alascer’s company? He told me that you were all he hoped for and more. Although, he did have a complaint.”
Did he? How interesting.
“He didn’t appreciate you staying so silent, Scarlett, which I have to agree with. Most people don’t appreciate their partner being silent during intercourse. I suppose Azrael didn’t care too much about that, did he?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from my chest. Azrael couldn’t force me to be quiet even when he gagged me.
Lady Elise’s eyes flashed with a sick light.
“Is that amusing to you? Knowing that he must hate how quiet you are, how silent. How simple. All you do is smile and stare. Oh, how that must drive that man up a wall. Someone as…” She inhaled deeply, something like reflection in her eye, as if she were…
in awe of him. “Brilliant as Azrael Thorin.”
Oh.
Oh, how interesting.
“Well, that’s okay now, isn’t it?” she hummed, looking me over. “You may never return to him, but I promise, Chosen One, that we will make sure you will never disappoint another man again.”
The only men I had ever disappointed were the ones who wanted me and never got me. Men like Thomas, Mr. Bastrom, and Mr. Alascer up until this morning.
Azrael?
I don’t think I had ever disappointed him. Not even in the beginning when he found me in my closet, hiding like a fawn from the big bad wolves. No, not even then.
I was stronger than what they did. Even in the pits of my fear and terror, I was stronger. My crown was straight, my spine bathed in steel. I was royalty, even in their cage.
Lady Elise must have seen a shift because her smile became pinched. “Bring her to the Gallows,” she ordered, her voice short. “We have many clients ready to receive their blessing and I’m curious to see how trained she truly is.”
~~~
Azrael had told me once that the pain in battle and the pain he gave me felt different. One was given out of lust, the other forced out of rage.
I suppose, even after growing up in that church, I never truly understood how much rage there was in this world until this afternoon.
I knew I felt rage. I knew the rage I felt was fiery and hot and planted barbed seeds of determination into my soul.
It caused my jaw to set and my hands to shake and sometimes it caused laughter to bubble out uncontrollably, but the rage the men who came to this place felt?
It was different. In fact, I think their rage was rooted in pure hatred, and I had never felt that kind of pure hatred before.
I didn’t think there was enough water and citrus soap in the entire world to take away this feeling.
After the service, they each received their blessings.
L.J. more than a few times.
I felt sore and raw and a little bit like I could feel the tar slowly sliding through my veins, but the panic from that had to wait. I had a job to do and lingering on what had happened would only suffocate me. So long as I kept my mind busy, I wouldn’t drown.
I focused on the sounds of the house for a few more minutes before finally pulling out the manilla envelope and dumping the contents out on the bed.
My movements were faster now, more jagged.
I had to move fast so every faucet of my brain was occupied, but the more jagged I moved, the more I became a liability to myself.
I couldn’t let myself down like that, even if it was to protect my mind.
Setting the envelope aside, I spread the items out, quickly noticing the gentle tremble in my hands that hadn’t been there before.
I shook out my hands—it was nothing but tiredness, I was sure—and I focused on what rested before me. A few pictures and what looked like letters.
The pictures were strange. They didn’t look like the pictures I took on my phone. They were surrounded by white and they looked old.
I picked up the first one, seeing a woman in the second bed in my room. She was wearing one of the dresses I had seen in the closet, and she was looking up at the bedroom door, it looked like. She had mousey brown hair and round glasses, and there was clearly fear in her hazel eyes.
I flipped the picture over, the name Morgan written on the back.
I set the picture to the side and grabbed another. There was another girl, longer brunette hair, a little older. Celia was written on the back.
Each picture was different. A different girl, a different name, the same bed, which meant that whoever was taking them had slept in my bed.
How had they managed to get a camera in here? How did they get the pictures printed?
I set the pictures to the side and picked up the first letter.
October 31st, 2018
Morgan hasn’t come back. I think they killed her. She stopped eating, stopped sleeping. I thought about pushing her to eat, but why would I prolong Hell for her if she wasn’t prepared to handle it? She deserved the peace death could bring her.
I can’t seem to force myself to stop. I suppose I don’t have it as bad as them. Charles is the only one who fucks me. Lady Elise says he deserves to punish me for what I did, but I can’t seem to remember what that was.
What have I done so wrong that my own father wants to fuck the disobedience out of me?
I’ve been here three weeks now. How much longer will he punish me?
How much more can I take?
Rae.
Rae slept in my bed.
I was sleeping in Rae’s.
Azrael told me there was a video of her. Of what her father had done to her. I never saw it, but he had. Which meant two things. One; he knew what the inside of this place looked like, although that didn’t help with the location.
And two; there was a camera somewhere in this place recording what they did to us. Wherever he had taken Rae, he had kept a record of it. I had to look harder. Maybe it was in the Gallows or maybe in another room.
Or maybe it had been his own personal camera, and he had taken it with him when he left.
My heart thudded. Mr. Alascer, of course. All Azrael had to do was get to him. Get to him, threaten him, torture him. He knew where this place was. He could lead Azrael here.
But would he?