Chapter 46 Scarlett
Scarlett
The trees looked different.
They were all glowing and bright, just like my family was.
Everybody had an aura. I had forgotten about it.
I mean, I had always seen Azrael’s, but now I saw everyone’s, or really everything that lived.
Havoc’s aura was purple and white. Poppy’s was silver.
Emily’s was light blue. Olivia’s was pink and black specks.
Even Lucy was glowing a pastel pink. The trees were all whiteish yellow, like the color of a yoke just barely mixing with the white.
I held up my hand as we drove, twisting it back and forth, waggling my scared fingers, only able to see a few tips of my them under the white bandages. Nothing.
I frowned and twisted in my seat to see Poppy, Emily, Havoc, and Lucy with her tongue hanging out all stuffed into the backseat. Although, Poppy looked more than comfortable on Havoc’s lap. “Do you see my aura?” I asked, looking between the four of them.
Poppy’s brows furrowed. “An aura?”
I nodded, shifting my eyes to Havoc expectantly.
“No doll, we don’t see anything.”
I found Lucy’s eyes, but she only licked her chops, so I turned to Emily, who was shoved up against the door.
“Sorry, Scarlett,” she said, shaking her head.
I frowned and fell back into my seat. It felt good to frown, but my cheeks still hurt. I wondered when it would go away.
“Do we have auras?” I heard Havoc ask.
My smile returned and I twisted around again, reveling in the scent of Azrael all around me. “Yes,” I answered, and then explained their auras carefully, including Azrael’s.
Havoc nodded, impressed. “Do you know what the colors mean?”
I thought about it and shook my head. “Nope.”
He chuckled at the response, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Well, okay then.”
I couldn’t help the smile, but it was my choice to smile in response. Mine.
I settled back in my seat and watched the trees go by, the car silent of everything but the humming leaking from my soul.
My mind was so loud now. “Tick tock goes the clock,” kept humming through it over and over again, accompanied by Azrael’s soft hum that I tried to hum with.
I could feel everything they had done to me all at once.
I had all of it listed in alphabetical order in my head, and I was prepared to do most all of it to anyone who betrayed my family.
Everything except the worst of it. I could never rape anybody. I could never fall down to that level, but the torture gave me fun new ideas. If they could break me with what they did, I could break them with far less, I was sure.
“So, what changed?” Olivia asked, glancing over. “In your head, I mean. What’s different?”
I studied her carefully, my eyes lingering on her tummy where I could see very clearly now that she was pregnant.
Azrael told her to stay with me so I could keep her safe, I was sure of it.
I would not let him down. “The spades have overtaken our Hysteric Wonderland,” I explained to her seriously.
“They have done unthinkable things to me and my family, they infiltrated us. I learned that I have never and will never be pure enough for their Heaven, so I’m going to show them my Hell. Whatever the cost is.”
Her lips curled down and her brows pulled together. “Their idea of ‘pure’ is skewed, Scarlett, nobody can live up to that.”
I turned back to the road, feeling my mind dip into a dark hole.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
All the way down, no white rabbit in sight.
If I couldn’t be pure, I would be everything they ever feared and so much worse.
~~~
We pulled up to a small cabin in the woods. It was surrounded by trees, the road bumpy and fun.
The moment we parked, I jumped and led the way to the porch, dancing and excited. What a perfect little house on the outskirts of our Hysteric Wonderland. A perfect place to hurt people who hurt my family.
“I have the—”
But I was already pressing my finger to the scanner and my eye to the other one, hearing the door unlock instantly.
I was used to the security. On many of the doors inside the house, there were eye scanners and DNA scanners and palm scanners.
Azrael said it made it far more difficult for outsiders to get in.
I was not an outsider here. Wherever my hatter had left his mark, I belonged just the same.
“Should have guessed that, Liv,” Poppy said behind me as I pushed the door open.
Azrael’s scent slammed into me in waves, causing me to slow and inhale until every ounce of my lungs were filled. The place was old and empty, but I could feel his presence. He must have spent quite a bit of time here since bringing Zo and Thomas.
“You sure you want to be here, Em?” I heard Olivia ask, pulling my attention over. “This probably isn’t going to be pretty.”
Emily only nodded, giving Olivia a warm smile. “I’m not going to the church with her, the least I can do is support her here.”
Olivia squeezed her hand just as Havoc said, “This way, doll.”
I looked over seeing Havoc standing outside a door. I was grateful for Emily’s decision because I knew it was difficult for her. She really didn’t like the violence of this world, but she tried for Grey and now she was trying for me.
I truly appreciated that about her.
But it wasn’t the only thing on my mind.
I inhaled again. I could still feel that hole in my chest. Gaping and cavernous.
“I miss him,” I told Havoc as I walked over.
I wanted to find him. I wanted to bring him home.
I didn’t want to face another night without him.
Another night of waking up, sweating and screaming, running just to escape the things in my head.
I needed him here.
I wanted him here.
“I know, we’ll have to get a message to him. I’ll contact some of my friends. Nobody is completely untraceable.”
I unlocked the door and found his eyes, seeing the truth clearly in them. “Are the friends like you?”
He considered the question and then smiled. “Yeah, Scarlett, they are.” He gestured down the staircase. “Ready?”
I beamed and spun towards the stairs only to freeze.
It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room, like the hole I was falling down suddenly shrunk in size. It felt as if I had eaten the cake rather than drinking the potion.
My heart started beating out of my chest, my smile stretching and growing painfully, my throat closing.
This tunnel just kept going and going and going. Stairs of concrete, just like the ones in the house.
“Scarlett.”
I had the blade against Havoc’s throat between one blink and the next, despite the fact that it hadn’t been him who said my name, it had been Olivia.
He was unfazed, his hands up, his smile lazy, his eyes locked onto mine as if it were just another day.
“Scarlett.” It was Poppy this time, her voice gentle. “You’re not in that house anymore. You got out, remember? With sharpened teeth and claws. You got out. It’s time to adapt.”
Down and down the rabbit hole I fell.
“Hold your knife,” Poppy went on. “Havoc will lead the way, Olivia, Em, and Lucy will follow us, okay? The door will remain open, I promise, but if you want to see Zo and Thomas, if you want to check on Evie, you have to go down the stairs.”
I swallowed, watching as a boil of blood slowly slid down the edge of my blade.
It was just a staircase. Just a basement. Azrael’s basement. Not Malachi’s. Azrael’s.
Not Malachi’s.
Azrael’s.
I inhaled deeply, letting his scent flood through me, allowing my lungs to fill again and my mind to focus.
I laughed and stepped back. Azrael built this place. Right, okay. He would never build a torture chamber for me unless I asked him too. And that chamber would be filled with fun things. Never anything to actually hurt me.
I was safe here.
My family was safe here. “That was funny,” I giggled, meeting his caramel-colored eyes.
Havoc carelessly wiped the blood from his neck, smearing it, a chuckle on his lips. “It was, wasn’t it? You know, you’re not the first woman who’s held a knife to my neck, and you certainly won’t be the last,” he winked. “Ready?”
I glanced back down the hall, Azrael’s humming becoming louder in my mind. “Tick tock goes the clock, and only time will tell, tick tock goes the clock, will I ever be truly well?”
What was ‘well’ if not a construct. I was the Queen of Hearts, which meant I set the standard for ‘well’ in Hysteric Wonderland, right? I was as well as the hatter.
I finally nodded and tightened my grip around the knife. Evie was down there. They hurt Evie. They betrayed my family. I would not let them see me afraid.
Havoc nodded and started down the stairs, Poppy joining my side.
I glanced her way before taking one step down the stairs and then another. They were just stairs. Just concrete. Those two things never hurt me, they couldn’t, they weren’t alive, but I did believe that houses held the souls of those who built them.
Absolution’s soul was dark and evil, filled with dripping, hot tar, but this cabin? I could feel Azrael all around me. Everything was glowing and red because of him. Everything inhaled and exhaled his sea.
It took us what felt like a lifetime to get to the bottom, the air becoming so cold, I could see my own breath. Havoc stopped in front of the door at the bottom and waited for me to open it before stepping to the side and allowing me through.
I did it without hesitation, knowing that they must be on the other side.
Lo and behold, there they were. Zo and Thomas, both strapped to chairs with barbed wire, gags over their mouths, and old blood dried to their skin.
The smell in the room was terrible, but a smell I was used to—
“Hey, he’s paying me to take care of her, not them—”
I spun around, but Olivia had already told me on the way here that Evie had a doctor looking over her, and that the doctor was Doctor Manson’s sister.
She rose a brow, her aura green. “Who are you?”
“Azrael’s wife,” I said proudly.
“Azrael’s wife,” Olivia stated evenly. “Scarlett. We’re here to talk to them.”