Chapter 23
DELILAH
Delilah waved as Heather and John returned to the waiting room. From their grins, they must have passed. ‘You did it! I knew you could.’
Heather said, ‘Floor Greed is much harder than it first seems.’
‘Exactly!’ Delilah released a sigh of deep vindication. ‘I prepared a small celebration in honour of us conquering half the floors. Follow me.’
They climbed the ladder to the reception lobby. Holding out her arms, Delilah presented her masterpiece. ‘Ta-dah!’
Dozens of tables had been moved from guests’ rooms. They overflowed with sweets from Floor Gluttony, along with pastries, packaged small cakes and biscuits.
Delilah had prepared a crude banner overhead reading Go Team Repair the Purgatory Hotel for Wayward Ghosts!
One table held soft drinks. Guests moved amongst the tables, eating, chattering and laughing.
Was that Barbara in the corner, balancing a lollipop on her nose?
Delilah decided to ignore the troublemaker as long as she wasn’t interrupting the party.
Heather gasped. ‘Everyone seems so much more relaxed.’
Delilah nodded. ‘I think people just needed to know that someone was trying to repair the hotel. Now that there’s a repair team and a plan, everyone has got much calmer. A party will help soothe the guests’ damaged nerves.’
‘Thanks for arranging this,’ John said. ‘I could use a drink of water.’ He went to the water cooler.
Heather looked around. ‘Do you see Jaime? The last two floors hit her hard. Some old trauma got dredged up. I’m worried about her.’
Delilah said, ‘Jaime said something about going to spy on the maintenance crew again.’
Heather sighed. ‘Maybe she’s avoiding me.
I don’t think she’s ready to talk about it.
She can be very stubborn. There’s no point in forcing her.
Sometimes she seems older than her age .
. . and sometimes she can be very young.
Next time you see her, act casual, as if we didn’t have this conversation. ’
Still a little baffled, Delilah nodded along.
The thud of heavy boots rattled against the ladder. Godfrey appeared first, more of his crew behind him.
He shouted, ‘No one can repair this hotel without us! And we’re not working until all our demands are met! We’re going to unionise, then you’ll all be sorry you didn’t listen when we were playing nice. Where is John, anyway?’
John crouched down behind the water cooler in an awkward imitation of a penguin. His gaze was on the floor.
Delilah carefully didn’t look at him, so as not to give away his hiding place. ‘This party is invitation only,’ she said to Godfrey and his crew. ‘You’re not invited.’
The guests backed away, clutching their paper cups.
Jaime darted out from behind the receptionist’s desk.
She had a biscuit hanging out of her mouth and three more in her hand.
She swallowed, then called, ‘Godfrey, I know your secret. If you don’t want your shame to be exposed to the entire afterlife, then get out of here.
’ She tossed the biscuits between her hands, juggling them.
Godfrey paled. He glanced up at his crew. ‘We’ve conveyed the message about our new union. Our work here is done,’ he blustered. ‘Time to leave.’
The maintenance crew retreated up the ladder as fast as they’d arrived.
Heather walked over and ruffled Jaime’s hair. ‘Good job, kid. What did you find out about him?’
Jaime looked sideways. ‘Blackmail material is more effective the fewer people retain the knowledge.’
‘Come onnnn, you brat, I want to know how you made Godfrey’s face turn so pale.’
Jaime put her nose up in the air. ‘I made a logical deduction based on the evidence. You could reach the same conclusion with your current information.’
Heather made pleading eyes. ‘Give me a hint?’
‘I’ll give you a hint.’ Jaime whispered, ‘Clown car.’
‘That tells me nothing.’
Jaime headed towards the nearest food table. ‘Think about it.’
Heather followed her. ‘Please? Can I have another hint?’
Delilah smiled. It was good to see them getting along. What would Heather do now that she’d passed her own trial? That would have to be her own choice.
Delilah went to find Damien. The lift doors were closed. She frowned: she’d held the party on this floor so that he could take part. Was he not having fun? She peeled open the doors a crack. ‘Can I come in?’
Lucy crouched in a corner with her hands over her ears. Howard knelt next to her, patting her back. Looking up, he explained, ‘Lucy got overwhelmed by the crowd. Damien was kind enough to lend us his lift so that she could take a break away from the noise and people.’
‘I’m happy to help.’ Damien was eating a chocolate croissant. ‘I get tired of crowds sometimes too. I understand.’
At least he’d got some refreshments.
Delilah asked, ‘Is it okay if I come in?’
‘Yes, I’m starting to get used to you.’ Lucy waved her inside. ‘We are fellow comrades working together to repair the hotel.’
Delilah stepped into the lift, closing the doors behind her.
Howard asked Lucy, ‘Are you feeling better now? Would you like a drink of water?’ He offered a cup.
‘I will accept with gratitude.’ Lucy stood up and took a long sip.
‘Thank you, I feel more demonic now. I would still like to stay here until the party is over. There are too many loud people out there, Howard. They ask me strange questions. I do not understand you mortals and your obsession with asking people, “How are you?” That is private and confidential information.’
Howard laughed. ‘You can just reply “fine” – no one needs a long answer.’
‘Humans lie so casually.’ Lucy shook her head. ‘And to think people call me evil.’
‘Want to hear a joke to lighten the mood?’ Howard asked.
Lucy said, ‘No.’
At the same time, Delilah said, ‘Yes.’
‘Delilah answered first.’ Howard grinned. ‘In America, they call a lift an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.’
Delilah doubled over, laughing. ‘Raised! Get it?’
Lucy groaned. Damien sighed and said, ‘It’s a pity my lift isn’t raising anywhere, much less taking people to Heaven.’
Lucy shook her head. ‘Now that someone finds Howard funny, he’ll be even more impossible to handle.’
Damien leaned towards her and whispered, ‘Their senses of humour are on the same level.’
Delilah lifted her nose in the air. ‘I choose to take that as a compliment . . . to Howard.’ She turned towards him. ‘Want to hear a joke in return? I once took an ancestry test in the hope that I would find out that I was adopted.’
Damien said, ‘Oh, I actually did that in real life. Unfortunately, I’m my parents’ child.’
‘Yeah, I did it in real life too.’ Delilah sighed. ‘I had a brief moment of optimism before the results came back. But I’m biologically related to my mother, and I guess that wasn’t really a joke . . . just kind of sad . . .’
‘You’ll get better with practice,’ Howard encouraged her. ‘I have more topical jokes! Did you hear the one about the man who’s afraid of lifts? He’s taking steps to avoid them.’
The mirth returned to Delilah’s eyes. ‘I love it!’
Lucy groaned even louder. To Damien, she said, ‘Why do we put up with them?’
‘Oh!’ Damien’s eyes widened. ‘It’s because Delilah is beautiful, brilliant and brave.
She brings a little bit of magic into every room that she walks into, and I don’t just mean her card tricks.
She’s so full of life that she makes the entire afterlife seem brighter.
I could listen to her talk all day. I used to be bored, working in the lift, but ever since she came here I look forward to every new day. Did I just say all of that out loud?’
Delilah pressed her hand into the wall next to him. Boxing him into the wall, she purred, ‘You can tell me more. I could listen to you talk all day too.’
She hoped she looked cool, not sweaty. A flush had appeared on her cheeks and her heart raced. No one had ever given her such a deep and heartfelt compliment before, made all the more charming by his obvious sincerity.
Damien flushed red from the tips of his ears to his neck and stammered. He dropped his croissant. It made Delilah want to tease him even more.
Lucy patted Howard’s arm. ‘Ah, young love. It’s adorable to witness. Were we ever so young?’
‘I was.’ He laughed. ‘I don’t know about you. But you’ve always been immature for your age.’
‘Is that a compliment or an insult?’ Lucy pinched his ear. ‘It had better be a compliment.’
The moment was interrupted when a ball of grey fur flashed down from the ceiling. Nefertiti landed on the floor, pouncing on the fallen chocolate croissant and devouring it.
Damien immediately knelt next to the cat. ‘You can’t eat that, Nefertiti – it’s chocolate.’
‘She’ll be fine.’ Lucy waved a hand dismissively.
‘She’s not an ordinary cat. Why, she could swallow you whole if she wanted!
She could digest anything she can sink those magnificent teeth into.
’ Lucy bent and scratched Nefertiti’s ears.
The cat purred. ‘Do you go by Nefertiti now, old friend? What a perfect name for a beauty.’
‘Thanks, I thought it up,’ Damien said.
Lucy glanced in Damien’s direction, then back to Nefertiti. ‘Are you sure about picking him? He doesn’t seem very special or brave – gah.’ She leapt away from the flashing claws. ‘Point taken. It’s your choice, not mine. How are you enjoying my hotel?’
Nefertiti relaxed and allowed more petting. ‘Deep and dark. Suck it up then pour it down. Dry or full in the ground. What am I referring to?’
Lucy smiled and scratched the cat’s back.
‘I’m glad you’re doing well.’ She sighed.
‘I poured out my heart and soul into this hotel. I wanted it to be a place of enjoyment and rest, as well as a trial. It pains me to see it end up in such a state. Furthermore, all of the tests need fixing! Ah, in the wise words of Dante, “There is no greater sorrow than thinking back upon a happy time in misery.”’
‘You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,’ Delilah said. ‘The hotel was doing great before . . . whatever happened.’
‘It was probably all Barbara’s fault, somehow,’ Lucy groused.
‘And the trials have some value. I learned something about myself and my relationship with my mother from Floor Anger.’ Delilah hesitated, wondering if now would be the right moment to mention her problems with Floor Greed.
Perhaps not. Lucy looked too vulnerable and still shaken from dealing with people.
Delilah went the diplomatic route instead.
‘We can update the floors for the modern times. Isn’t change inevitable? You needn’t blame yourself for that.’
Lucy nodded. ‘The hotel was designed to update itself, but, judging by how Floor Heresy simply broke down and that cute girl ended up trapped, the automatic updates are not sufficient. I require a more personal touch.’
‘That’s why we’ve been doing all these trials to reach the engine room,’ Delilah said. ‘So that we can fix the Purgatory Hotel for Wayward Ghosts and resume normal business operations. This place is our home. We all care about it too.’
Lucy’s eyes moistened. Her shadow twisted behind her, briefly forming the shape of a heart.
‘I’m happy that other people value my work.
This place means a lot to me. My power generally lends itself more to destruction and punishment.
When I created this place, it was the first time I used my powers to build something with the goal of helping people reach Heaven.
I wanted people to be able to pass my trials, as long as they put in a proper effort and learned from their past mistakes. ’
Perhaps now might be the right moment to talk about reforming Floor Greed and the gambling table, after all. Delilah opened her mouth.
The lift rocked, banging against the walls. Delilah, Howard, Damien and Lucy all ended up falling against the right side. Delilah gripped on to the railing as the shaking continued. Outside, guests shouted and babbled in panic.
Finally, the miniature earthquake stopped.
‘The hotel is breaking.’ Lucy paled, her hands trembling. ‘I don’t understand how this is happening.’
Delilah thought it a very bad sign if even the mysterious and powerful designer of the hotel was in a panic. ‘That means it’s time for us to get back to work. No more playing around. We need to make it to the engine room as fast as possible.’