Ch. 23 – Layla
“ D amn, girl,” Everly hollered between heaving breaths. “Do you… have wings or something?”
“Oh, sorry.” Layla looked guiltily over her shoulder at the line of women jogging behind her. She’d meant to lead their first group run at an easy pace, but her feet kept wanting to pick up speed.
Truth was, she did feel light as air. Even after a whole night of squirming and giggling to herself on her mother’s couch, her body was still tingling from that thing that’d happened in the stables yesterday afternoon.
That magical, wonderful, volcanic, terrifying thing !
“Let’s take a walk break,” Jax suggested as she bounded up to Layla’s shoulder, her dark ponytail swinging from side to side with her easy strides. The young tennis player was hardly breaking a sweat.
“Sure…if that’s…what you…other ladies need,” Everly croaked from the back of the group.
Reluctantly, Layla slowed to a walk. What she really wanted to do was sprint down the trail as fast as she could until her lungs burned and her legs buckled. She needed to do something, anything , to work through the jumble of emotions roiling inside her body.
She’d done a thing, in a barn, with her boss. And she’d felt that other thing. That thing women always raved about. And the things, both of them, had felt so, so, so good!
Gradually, the rest of the women caught up to her.
Tess pulled a small water bottle from her sports belt and took a long sip. She was breathing hard, her pale cheeks flushed. Next to her, Alanna looked like she’d just walked off a photo shoot for a fitness magazine. She wasn’t so much sweating as “glowing.” A red sports band held back her frosty blonde hair, and her matching sports crop tank and booty shorts perfectly framed her slim body.
And then there was Everly. Her sweat-stained t-shirt clung to her curvy body, and sweat dripped down her face. Each breath heaved out of her like a steam engine.
“I think…you’re trying to kill me,” she accused Layla. “You know this body wasn’t meant for exercise.”
“Every body is meant for exercise,” Layla responded. “Moving feels so good!”
“Maybe when you’re 120 pounds,” Everly grumbled. “I’m surrounded by Barbies.”
“Can I be punk Barbie at least?” Jax asked.
“Oh, oh, I call boss bitch Barbie,” Alanna demanded.
Layla looked down the gently winding trail and pulled in a deep breath. She and the Crazy Cat Ladies were running three miles today. Then, she would run an extra seven to make up for yesterday’s unsuccessful training session.
Today couldn’t be more different than yesterday. Today, the birds sang. The sky spread over them, an endless blue. And Layla felt different, too. Today, she was a completely new being.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” she said with a sigh.
“Is it just me, or is Layla even more…Layla than usual?” Tess asked.
“I honestly didn’t believe it was possible, but I think you’re right,” Alanna agreed. “What’s going on, sis? You have a good sesh with a vibrator last night?”
Layla almost choked on her laugh. “No!”
She should tell the ladies about the thing. And the other thing. She wanted to tell them. But it was all still so new. The Crazy Cat Ladies would unleash an avalanche of questions she wasn’t ready to answer.
No, she wouldn’t tell them. Not until she’d had some time to sort out her own thoughts.
“Well?” Alanna pushed. “You going to let us know why you’re two seconds away from singing a Disney princess song and dancing among woodland creatures?”
“I’m just…” Layla hedged. “I’m just happy, that’s all.”
Alanna rolled her eyes. Jax quirked an eyebrow. Everly mopped her face with the edge of her t-shirt.
“Okay, so new subject,” Jax said. “Why is Joey falling for Edwin?”
Everly’s eyebrows popped. “Um, did you get to the desk sex scene? Enough said. Enough done!”
It took Layla a moment to realize they were talking about The Billionaire’s Dilemma, the romance book that she was now woefully behind on reading.
Jax shook her head. “They had great sex, but so what? Edwin is still a Class A asshat. He fired his accountant for going to her son’s high school graduation during the hostile takeover attempt. He just forced a mom-and-pop hardware chain to sell to him. And he’s still rude as hell to all his employees.”
“Being good at business is not a character flaw,” Alanna pointed out. “But yeah, treating your employees like shit is the ultimate dick move.”
Everly sighed like a teenager trying to explain WhatsApp to her grandmother. “That’s all part of Edwin’s character arc. Joey is going to help him become a better person. I guarantee you he’ll end up hiring back the accountant and even giving her a raise by the end of the book.”
“Okay, but why is it Joey’s job to make Edwin a better person?” Tess asked. “Shouldn’t Edwin be able to recognize his own assholery behavior?”
“Edwin is hurting,” Layla spoke up. “He had a lot of trauma in his past, especially from growing up as his father’s illegitimate son. He’s always felt like an imposter, like in business school when he didn’t fit in with his wealthy classmates, or when he started at his father’s company and everyone assumed he’d gotten there by nepotism.”
Layla turned her face up to the sun. “He overcompensates by trying to prove that he belongs as the CEO. Joey is going to show him that he doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone but himself.”
Jax gave Layla a smirk. “I thought you hated Edwin.”
Layla shrugged. “He’s growing on me a bit.”
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you bailed on our text chain yesterday,” Alanna said, swinging to Layla’s other side. “You never told us the wildest place you’ve ever had sex.”
“Come on, we all know Layla only has sex with Cal in her big, fluffy, comfortable bed,” Everly said.
The other women fell silent.
It took Everly a moment, and then her mouth dropped open and shifted into an O of horror. “Shit. Sorry.” She smacked her forehead. “Layla, I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
Him.
Cal.
Cal!
CAL!!!
Layla’s stomach vacuumed to the size of a peach pit. She felt the sudden, violent urge to vomit up the bagel she’d eaten this morning.
She’d forgotten about Cal. Hadn’t thought of him once since the thing in the barn and the other thing in the barn.
Her fiancé. She’d forgotten about her fiancé! Except, he wasn’t her fiancé. The wedding cancellation notices were stacked on the kitchen table and ready to hit the mail. She and Cal were over.
Weren’t they?
She’d blocked his number. Hadn’t spoken to him since that horrible call two weeks ago.
But, then again, she hadn’t officially ended things. Hadn’t said the words out loud.
God, did that mean they were still technically together…that she was a cheater, too?
“Layla?” Tess asked gently. “You okay? You look like you just swallowed a dragonfly.”
“Fine.” Layla’s voice was halfway to a squawk. “Ready to run again?”
Without waiting for an answer, her feet pressed hard into the dirt trail, and she took off.
*
God didn’t take long to punish Layla for her sinful transgression.
First, she’d arrived home to find a massive wine-and-cheese gift basket swaddled in pink cellophane taking up half the kitchen table. The basket was stuffed with hard-to-pronounce French cheeses, three different kinds of fancy crackers, tiny bottles of arsenal jam, and five bottles of aged French wine. Layla had flipped the tag, hoping against hope that Sully had splurged on a gift for Alanna.
To my one and only Rapunzel, the tag read. Your prince awaits.
Second, God had evidently decided to extend his wrath to those she loved.
“Come on, Cactus,” Layla whispered that afternoon, her face practically pressed against the side of the hedgehog’s enclosure. On the other side of the plastic, the small, quilled animal stared morosely at his food bowl, still filled with hedgehog food mix and topped with several chunks of carrots and even half a strawberry.
“You love strawberries,” Layla pleaded. Cactus had become more finicky about his food and lethargic over the past few months. And now, he hadn’t touched his morning breakfast at all.
It was a sign.
She was still technically, maybe, possibly in a relationship with Cal. Which meant what she’d done with Prem yesterday was wrong. Her phone dinged from the couch, startling her. Nerves shot through her body as she lifted the phone and unlocked it.
It was Prem.
Beginning at 8 AM this morning, he’d left the following three messages.
Prem: Hi.
10 minutes later.
Prem: Sorry, that was lame.
Just now.
Prem: Hi?
In spite of Layla’s worries, a small smile touched her lips. She could almost perfectly imagine the handsome vet scowling at his phone, struggling and failing to determine the correct follow-up protocol after yesterday’s thing.
Layla leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. That magical, wonderful thing.
She’d held Prem for almost 30 minutes while he’d dozed, until Brooke had come into the stables to check on them. Layla almost giggled, remembering how they’d thrown on their dirt-stained clothes in a frantic rush of limbs. Brooke had given them seriously amused side-eye as they’d slinked out of the stables.
The ride back had been quiet, neither of them wanting to put words to what had happened. But he’d kissed her, long and lingering before opening the door to her car. That kiss had felt like a promise of more to come.
Layla picked up her phone and studied Prem’s messages again. Her eyes zeroed in on the last message.
Prem: Hi?
The weight of the world seemed to hang on that question mark.
A door swung open upstairs with a loud creak.
“It is now time for the official transfer of ownership,” Alanna announced.
Layla stared at the message for a moment longer, then regretfully set down her phone and climbed the stairs.
Alanna stood regally in front of the guest bedroom. “You’ve been a good room,” she said fondly, hand resting on the doorknob. “And God knows that bed has seen some things.”
Just inside the room, four matching suitcases stood lined up in front of the bed next to an open cat carrier.
“Take good care of this place for me, will ya?” Alanna asked, turning to Layla.
Layla’s throat grew tight. “I can’t believe you’re moving in with a boy!”
“You and me both, sister,” Alanna said. “End of an era.”
Layla frowned. “And I thought you would’ve had more things. When you first came here, you filled that closet to its breaking point.”
Alanna shrugged and dropped onto the bed. “I’ve actually been working on downsizing a lot over the past few months. I also moved everything from my storage container over yesterday.”
A large black cat hopped onto the bed, marched onto Alanna’s lap, and started aggressively kneading her thighs.
“Simon’s biscuit factory is up and running,” Alanna said, stroking the cat’s back, which immediately elicited a loud purr.
Layla eased herself onto the bed next to her sister and scratched the cat’s cheek. “I’m so happy for you, Alanna.”
“So why do you look like you’re going to cry?” Alanna pressed her. “And not happy cry. I know the difference. Mom already happy cried all over me before she went to work this morning. This is not a happy cry. You’re on the edge of serious Layla ugly crying.”
“It’s nothing.” Layla’s hands moved, grabbing for her braid. She brought the thick ribbon of hair over her shoulder. “I’m worried about Cactus, that’s all.”
“Still not eating?”
Layla shook her head.
“You give him a strawberry?”
She nodded and sniffled.
“And that’s really the only thing? Because you were on cloud nine this morning. No, cloud ten. And now you’re on…what’s the opposite of a cloud?” Alanna frowned in thought. “Now you’re… floating on an oceanic sea shelf? Trapped inside the earth’s core? Okay, that’s stupid. This metaphor sucks.”
“I’m…fine.” Layla tried to keep her wobbly smile in place.
“Layla.” Alanna’s voice was firm. “You’re a terrible liar. You’ve got a tell, and it’s your entire face. What’s really going on?”
Layla looked down at her lap refusing to meet her sister’s eyes. She knew where this was heading. Alanna could always break her like a matchstick. It was how Layla had always gotten stuck cleaning the toilet when they were growing up. How she’d been forced to cover for Alanna when her sister had started working in the vineyards at age 14. It’s why her brain was permanently scarred from watching Paranormal Activity, The Ring, and every Saw movie.
“Layla, look at me.”
Inch by inch, the sheer willpower that was Alanna Sandoval seemed to drag Layla’s gaze up until, finally, she met her sister’s searing gaze. Layla tried to fight.
She gritted her teeth.
Pressed her lips together.
Held her breath.
“I had sex in a barn. Had an orgasm for the first time. And now Jesus hates me!” she cried.
Simon sprinted off Alanna’s lap.
Alanna remained silent for a full minute. Then she stood and left the room. Layla stared at the row of suitcases and the lush potted plant on the floor next to them. She put her head in her hands.
“Here.”
Layla looked up. A full wine glass floated in front of her face.
“I know you prefer pinot grigio,” Alanna said, “but all we had was the Merlot.”
“I’ll take it,” Layla said with a sigh as she accepted the glass.
Alanna resumed her place on the bed next to Layla. “So, just to recap, barn sex, orgasm, and Jesus. Where do I want to begin?” She took a long sip from her glass and considered. “Orgasm. Definitely orgasm.”
She speared Layla with an accusatory glare. “First orgasm, Layla? As in, you’ve never had one until now? Why was I not apprised of this emergency situation?”
Layla took a small sip from her glass just for the excuse to hide from her sister’s gaze.
“I just…I was embarrassed,” she admitted. “I thought there was something wrong with me.”
“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you except for your ludicrous fashion sense, your unnerving sincerity, and your constant optimism despite clear evidence that the world is going to shit,” Alanna informed her. “Second, for some women, orgasms are much more difficult to experience than others. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. In fact, a lot of women can still enjoy sex even without orgasming.”
“Really?” Layla asked.
“So I’ve heard,” Alanna answered with a smirk.
When Layla’s expression dropped, Alanna bumped her shoulder. “Kidding. I’ve had plenty of sex when I didn’t come. Usually the man’s fault.”
“So, I take it with Sully…” Layla began.
“Orgasm city,” Alanna confirmed. “Universal basic orgasms. Oprah-level orgasms. You get an orgasm. You get an orgasm!”
Layla giggled. She took another sip of her wine and enjoyed the complex melody of flavors, including strong hints of cherry and blackberry. The Merlot, like all the wines in the Sandoval household, was from The Rose and Thorn.
“Did you ever discuss your issue with Cal?” Alanna pressed her.
“In the beginning of our relationship, I did,” she answered. “But then he’d try harder, and that seemed to make it worse for some reason. I started to feel anxious about it. And he’d get frustrated, so then I’d just…” she shrugged. “I’d groan and squeak a little, and that seemed to be enough for him.”
“Fucking men,” Alanna mumbled. “How much time does Cal spend working on you?”
“I… um,” Layla stammered, and her cheeks heated. Women like Alanna were sex goddesses. They didn’t seem to understand the concepts of sexual proprietary or embarrassment, but for Layla, it felt almost sinful to say the words.
“We don’t spend a lot of time on me,” she finally murmured.
“God, I despise that man,” Alanna muttered.
“Please,” Layla said. Even though Cal had betrayed her, she still loved the man. Or at least she’d loved him for so many years, the feeling still felt imprinted on her heart.
“Okay, okay.” Alanna pulled in a deep breath, then turned to her sister. “Layla, for some women, it takes time to work up to an orgasm. We ladies are sensitive, and things like stress and anxiety can make it harder for us to relax, which makes it more difficult to orgasm. At the end of the day, like I said, you’re not wrong or broken. Your body is just different.”
“How do you know so much about this…um, stuff?” Layla asked.
Her sister shrugged. “I love the vagina. Anytime I see any vagina-related article, I read it. Do you masturbate?”
Layla almost spit out her wine. “No!” Then, she sighed. “Well, not very often.”
“I think you should,” Alanna said. “If you don’t have a vibrator, buy one. Let yourself feel pleasure. It might help you get more attuned to your clitoris.”
Get more attuned to her clitoris? Layla would laugh if she weren’t feeling so embarrassed.
Simon jumped back on the bed and cautiously crept onto Alanna’s lap. He stared at Layla with wide amber eyes.
“Okay, next topic, barn sex.” Alanna grabbed Layla’s knee in a vice grip. “Tell. Me. Everything.”
Layla finished the wine in her glass in a long pull, and without daring to look at her sister, relayed the entire treacherous story.
“So, you see, I think I might have cheated on Cal, which is why Jesus is disappointed in me and why God is punishing Cactus,” she said.
“The vet, huh?” Alanna leaned back on the bed. “He cute?”
“Alanna! That’s beside the point!” Layla pushed her sister’s shoulder lightly.
“No, hotness is never beside the point, but we’ll sidebar that convo.” Alanna closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose.
“First things first, Jesus loves you no matter what, so let’s just clear that up. In fact, if Jesus played favorites, and I’m not saying he does, you’re definitely in the favorites group.”
“Am not!” Layla said with a gasp. The very idea!
“Bup-bup-bup,” Alanna tutted, holding up a finger. “Next, Cal cheated on YOU. Not the other way around. He’d probably been cheating on you for a while. And, if I know that asshole, probably with more than one girl.”
“Alanna.” Layla’s lip trembled.
“Layla,” her sister shot back. “You were engaged. He got down on one knee and promised to be yours forever. And then he cheated. By cheating, HE broke the promise of fidelity. So, you’re well within your rights to have steaming hot sex with a vet of unknown hunkyness levels.”
“No,” Layla shook her head. “It was wrong.”
Alanna leaned down and picked up the wine bottle from the floor. She filled Layla’s glass, then her own.
“It wasn’t wrong,” Alanna said. “You don’t owe Cal anything. An-nee-thing,” she enunciated for effect. “You’re not wearing the ring. The wedding is off. You two are broken up. If you need to say the actual words, then unblock him from your phone, send him a text to make it official, and then lose his number permanently.”
“It’s not that easy,” Layla answered as she swirled her wine. “We’ve been dating for 10 years. Most of my things are at his place. I haven’t even updated my Facebook status.”
Alanna dropped her head and groaned. “Facebook? What are you, 50? Don’t answer that. I’m pretty sure you were born with the soul of a Baby Boomer.” She looked up and stared at Layla. “Do you want to get back with Cal?”
Layla hesitated. A cascade of memories flowed past her like a ribbon of film. That first time she’d set eyes on Cal in the hallway of their high school. Their first kiss. When he’d dropped down to one knee in front of a waterfall in Maui. Their prom picture where he looked so much like a groom, like her prince.
Layla sighed. “No. I don’t want him back.”
“Thank GAWD!” Alanna crowed. “Then, it’s over. Done. Finished. We’ll hire movers to pick up your stuff, and I’ll give ‘em an extra Benjamin to put sardines in Cal’s loafers. You’ll send out those wedding cancellations on Monday and update your stupid Facebook relationship status.”
She clapped her hands around her wine glass. “And then you and your vet can get back to banging. Doggy style, am I right?”
Layla snorted so hard, poor Simon raced off the bed again. And then, all at once, her laughter subsided, replaced by a wave of melancholy. She laid her head on Alanna’s shoulder.
“I like Prem so much, but…”
“But what? He rocked your world. What’s the problem?”
“It’s all happening so fast,” Layla admitted. “My stomach is full of unicorn sparkles whenever I think of Prem, but then I feel like I can’t breathe. And then I remember about Cal, and I kind of want to throw up a little in my mouth. I’m all over the place.”
“Hmmmm.” Alanna tapped a finger on her scarlet lips before taking a contemplative sip from her glass. “If it were me, I’d jump the vet’s bones. Nothing like hot sex to clear the mind, but you and I are different people. Maybe—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—you need to slow down. Let your emotions settle and give yourself some breathing room.”
Layla furrowed her brow. She certainly wanted to repeat what she and Prem had done. Oh yes, seconds, please! But that time in the barn had almost felt stolen. Like they’d come together in the eye of an emotional hurricane.
Layla sighed. “I do need more time,” she realized. “I can’t jump into anything new so soon. Especially when I haven’t put Cal fully in the past yet. I have to do this the right way.”
Alanna matched her sigh. “Being an adult sucks. But if your vet is worth it, he’ll understand.”
A soft knock sounded at the door. Both women started.
“Who is it?” Alanna called.
“Sully service.” The door opened, and Sully poked his head in. “Just wanted to see if you needed help bringing everything over. Hi, Layla.” He waved.
Layla’s face felt hot as a pizza oven. Staring into her wine, she waved back.
“That’s so sweet.” Alanna bounded up and laid a heavy kiss, with tongue, on him. “I’ll be ready in just a few minutes, but Layla and I are talking about vaginas, masturbation, orgasms, and Jesus.”
“Oh, is that all?” Sully’s eyebrows arched over his glasses. “In that case, how about I wait downstairs for a bit?”
“Love yooooooou!” Alanna called as the door closed rather abruptly. She spun around. “Where were we? Oh yeah. Jesus punishing Cactus.”
Holding out her wine glass, she carefully sat on the bed. “Not happening. Jesus wouldn’t punish that fat little hedgehog. Plus, you’ve got so many extra Brownie points in his book that he’ll definitely let a little barn sex slide. In fact, he probably gave you that orgasm. It’s his way of rooting you on.”
“Nooooo!” A laugh choked out of Layla.
“Jesus can do anything,” Alanna said solemnly.
Layla was laughing. And then she was crying. And then she was hugging her sister, wrapping her arms around Alanna as tightly as she could.
“I’m so happy for you, and I’m going to miss you!” she sobbed into Alanna’s shoulder. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m so happy and sad and confused.”
Alanna rocked Layla gently. “Welcome to the real world, little sis. It’s time to forget Cal. Like, forever. Now, about that sidebar convo. On a scale of one to ten, how hot is this vet?”