Ch. 44 – Prem
T his was the fucking worst part of Prem’s job, but also the most important thing he could do for both his animal patients and their human guardians. No matter how much it hurt him, he felt grateful he could take away an animal’s pain.
He carried the shivering chihuahua into the back of the clinic. Princess weighed almost nothing, as if she were already disappearing into that other, mysterious place. Prem quickly set up a heated doggie bed on the back exam table and placed the dog in it. Princess watched him with liquid dark eyes as she shivered in the knitted yellow sweater she wore.
Prem pulled a heated blanket over the dog and gently stroked her head.
“It won’t hurt, I promise,” he told her.
The door from the exam room opened, and Layla entered, her eyes rimmed with red. To Prem, she was as beautiful as ever.
“Mrs. Moffat signed the authorization forms,” she told him. “She wants cremation with a clay paw print. We’re not charging her, by the way.” Her shoulders stiffened as if she were preparing for battle. “Mrs. Moffat and Princess have been coming here for 18 years. It’s the least we can do.”
Prem simply nodded in agreement.
Layla leaned over the table and stroked Princess over the blanket.
“You don’t have to stay,” Prem told her. “You can sit in the breakroom or my office until it’s over.”
Layla’s gaze flicked up. Lightning crackled in the depths of her azure eyes. “I promised Mrs. Moffat that I would stay with Princess.” She looked back down at the dog. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Prem kept his expression neutral, but a metric ton of tension evaporated from his shoulders. He could never prove it, but he felt certain that animals knew and understood who was with them at the end. When their humans, or, in this case, the world’s kindest, most loving person, was with them, the pets passed more easily.
Prem turned away from the table, unlocked the drug cabinet, and filled two syringes, the first with a sedative, the second with the light pink pentobarbital solution. He returned to the table.
“Ready?” he asked Layla.
She nodded without looking up.
“You’ve been such a good, brave girl,” she crooned to Princess as Prem administered the sedative. The little dog’s tail wagged softly, thumping against the edge of the doggie bed.
“You gave your guardian so many years of love and companionship,” Layla murmured. “She was so blessed to have you in her life. And it was an utter joy for me to know you for so many years.”
When it was time, Prem administered the pentobarbital, and the drug did its work quickly. The little tail slowed, then stopped.
“I won’t forget you,” Layla whispered, placing a kiss on the dog’s head. “Be at peace.”
And then, before Prem knew it, Layla was in his arms, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Without thinking, Prem folded his arms around her. In that moment, they were one heart, one soul cherishing and mourning the loss of such a gentle spirit.
Prem breathed in the smell of Layla’s strawberry shampoo, and his heart broke all over again.
If only you were mine, he thought to her. I’d never let you go.