Chapter 11 #2
Dax stood in the middle of the living room, facing the patio doors. At six-foot-four, with sandy brown hair, broad shoulders, and glasses that gave him a Clark Kent vibe, it didn’t surprise me Morgan had made it through the Honor Challenge staying loyal to her Knight.
Or that she hadn’t been on the list of V card carriers during the debate over our virtue.
“Go girl,” I muttered under my breath.
“Hi, Quinn. Come on in and grab a coverall.”
Dax bent down to open the tins, a smile quirking the corner of his lips. Convinced he’d heard me, I said nothing else as I grabbed one from the stack and pulled it over my clothes.
He gestured at the puffs of netting next. “You’ll probably want to tie up your hair and put on a hairnet, too.”
I threw my hair into a bun and put one on while I squinted at the tins, glimpsing color inside but unable to make out what they held from the distance. “Are we painting?”
He bobbed his head from side to side. “Something like that.”
After getting to his feet, he stood in front of me to assess my outfit. With a nod, he deemed me suitably covered, then crossed his arms over his chest.
He scrutinized my face. “So, how’s everything going?”
I narrowed my gaze back on him. “Fine…”
Arching a brow, a smile played at the corner of his lips. “Have you heard what that stands for?”
“I think it means I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
I gestured with open arms, encompassing Camelot Court and the mindfuck known as The Quest.
“This is all totally fine.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. Or it means everything is Fucked Up, you feel Insecure, a little Neurotic, and Emotional.”
I pursed my lips.
He smiled broadly, then winked. “How close did I get?”
Refusing to answer, I deflected instead. “Did you find that gem in a fortune cookie? It sounds like something a total quack would say.”
“It’s from a song, actually. At least, the version with Fucked Up is from a song. And that always feels like the appropriate version at Camelot Court.”
I forced false brightness into my voice, stepping farther into the room. “But this place is so charming.” When I got close enough, I studied the small tins. “Hey, that is paint!”
“Yes, we’re using paint, but we’re not exactly painting.” His brown eyes glinted in the sunlight. “My training is on Sublimation. Do you know what that means?”
My brow furrowed. “Like, subliminal messaging?”
“In a way, yeah. It’s taking something and expressing it differently. Usually in a way deemed more socially acceptable. It’s useful for hiding product advertising in movies and TV shows.” He tipped his head toward me, sandy brown locks falling into his eyes. “And for channeling emotions.”
“Wow.” I smacked my lips together. “Who knew The Quest came with free therapy?”
Dax smirked. “It should really be on the brochure, huh?”
“Yeah, that’ll really sell this place.” I snorted, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “But it’s like I told you, Dax. I don’t have emotions to channel today. I’m fine.”
He reached out and patted my shoulder quickly before pulling his hand away. “Sure you are. Now, pick a color, grab a brush, and load it up with paint. Then have at it.”
Sure I’d misheard him, I enunciated. “Have at it?”
“Yep. Whatever strikes your fancy, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid.”
With another chuckle, he stepped back and gestured at the supplies, cueing me to get a move on.
I surveyed the colors, grabbed a brush, and loaded it up with a healthy amount of purple. As it dripped onto the floor, I stared at the walls and tried to figure out what to do next.
Then it hit me.
Although it was a different cabin, I stood right where Max and I had played truth or dare in ours. Right where he’d dared me to touch myself while he watched.
My cheeks flared with heat, as if I’d broadcasted the memory through the room. I tried to push the thoughts from my mind, but they wouldn’t quiet.
That night had been a turning point for us.
The moment I’d admitted that Max Dread and all his devil-may-care-charm was actually getting to me. I stared at the floor where I’d played out the fantasy in my head. Him and me, sharing something I’d only experienced with one other person, even though Max didn’t know it.
My first time with Landon.
Right before the Knights’ Quorum.
Right before he said No.
I’d been so mad at him—so hurt I couldn’t even think about that moment when I came back to Camelot Court—and because of my anger, I’d been open to Max Dread’s charm.
Each time he revealed a deeper layer of who he was, I’d softened.
So, while I’d been wrong to keep the secret from him later, back then, I hadn’t owed him my truth or trusted him enough to give it.
That moment had still belonged to me.
And, deep down, I’d believed he would only hate Landon more for it.
But if it hadn’t happened, if Landon hadn’t broken through my walls before briefly breaking my heart, then things might’ve played out differently.
Maybe we would’ve stayed together through the first thirty days, and I would’ve been loyal only to him.
Maybe I would’ve refused to open up to Max Dread.
Or maybe when Landon had said no, I wouldn’t have had anything to prove, and I wouldn’t have come back at all.
In both scenarios, Max Dread and me? We would’ve stayed a fantasy. A road not traveled.
A what if.
I didn’t know for sure, and I couldn’t wonder about the what ifs forever. But sometimes, I did.
So, I didn’t want Max to hate me for protecting that moment for as long as I had, knowing it could be the only reason I got to have him.
I sniffled, pushing away the emotion rising in my chest, before I turned back to Dax. “Can I use more than one color?”
He smiled, his eyes filled with sympathy as he nodded.
Then I started painting.
By the end of Sublimation training, I had streaks of purple, blue, and red in my hair.
My coveralls were a total mess, and the tarp on the floor where I’d shared that moment with Max was covered in swirls of paint. I’d poured out everything I was feeling, and by the end, I admitted to Dax that I felt better.
After cleaning myself up, I went to meet my old pal Silk, also known as Ben Devereaux, for Elements training.
Despite my curiosity over what his session covered, I wasn’t looking forward to a solo session with Ben. No matter how many times I told myself he’d been in character during the last challenge, the guy still gave me the creeps.
He slipped his arm around my shoulders, his voice dripping with pomp and lecherous charm. “Hey, pretty Maiden.”
I pinched the skin of his wrist, lifted his arm off me, and threw it away from my body.
“Hey!” he cried out. As he rubbed his tender little baby skin, he glared at me. “What’s your problem, you bitch?”
“Touch me again without consent, and you’ll regret it, Ben.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I kept my stance braced to get away from him. Ben struck me as the type who cared little about the meaning of safe words, a fact he confirmed when he took a half-step forward.
I snarled, “I’m not joking, asshat.”
“Listen here, little princess, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I don’t take orders from Maidens. Especially ones that can’t do jack shit to me.”
“Can’t I, though?” I arched a brow, blowing smoke out of my ass but refusing to let him know that.
He grew flustered. “What does that mean?”
I glared at him. “I know where you sleep, asshole. And I’m not from your world, remember? Maybe a little girl like me, from the wrong side of the tracks, knows exactly how to deal with wannabe thugs like you. You’re not the first big bad with a dick and poor comprehension I’ve ever met.”
With a shrug, I glanced away, feigning indifference.
But my pulse skyrocketed.
When he didn’t respond, probably confused by my lack of emotion and submission, I refused to look back at him.
Ben unnerved me. What I really wanted was to skip Elements training and get as far away from him as possible.
His soft, evil chuckle reinforced that desire. “Oh, yeah?”
He sidled a half-step closer, reappearing in my line of sight right as his full lips twisted into a pouty smirk.
I clenched my jaw, refusing to even breathe out of fear I’d give away how his proximity affected me.
Not in a good way.
“And what does a little girl like you do with big, bad wannabe thugs like me, huh?”
Repulsed by his insinuation, I glared at him. “For starters, I’ll cut off your dick and feed it to the little fishes at the bottom of that lake.”
He laughed cruelly and swiveled his head slowly, keeping his eyes on me. At the last possible opportunity, he shifted his gaze to the lake in question. “Wouldn’t that be a nice surprise? Getting an early celebration lunch.”
I frowned at him. “What—?”
“Hi!”
I jumped as Morty Dread shouted in my ear. He surprised me so thoroughly that my soul left my body.
As I whipped around to face him, he threw up his hands in his defense. My eyes narrowed, trying to figure out why he’d done that and why he looked so guilty.
Until a glint of light flashed across his palm.
Ben stormed up to him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Miss me?” Morty puckered his lips and blew Ben a kiss as he dropped his hands.
While Ben growled and shook his head, Morty slipped something into my palm. The cool metal object curved into my hand as I closed my fingers around whatever he’d given me. Sharp edges dug in, but they didn’t cut.
I glanced down at the small silver blade clutched in my fist.
When I lifted my head, Morty winked and whispered, “Surprise.”
Then, he turned on his heel and walked away.