Chapter 31
I stare at my phone screen, glaring at the three messages sitting there unanswered and unread. Nothing.
Zach: Happy Birthday, Honeycomb.
Zach: I love you. I don't care if you never want to marry me. I just want you.
Zach: I love you more than anything.
I want to type something else out to her, but what else is there to say? I’ve told her everything. I’ve laid out my heart in front of her, and she still said she needed time.
Pocketing my phone, I grab my keys off the kitchen counter and head to the door. I should be focused on the game tomorrow. It’s the biggest one of my college career. Scouts from six NFL teams have confirmed attendance and I have a good chance of winning.
This is everything I’ve worked for since I was eight years old and Dad first put a football in my hands, but all I can think about is how she looked last night when she said no. Sad and broken.
My phone buzzes.
Tiff: Landing in 20. Ella is vibrating with excitement to see her favorite person.
Right. The airport. I need to stop moping around the house and get there.
I type back quickly.
Zach: See you soon.
I don't know what I'm going to tell them. Tiff will know something's wrong the second she sees my face. She always does. But Ella—fuck, I can't let Ella see me fall apart. Not today.
I check my reflection in the hallway mirror before heading out. The bruise on my jaw from Chris's punch is darker now, purple spreading toward my cheekbone. At least I can use the excuse of a hard training session with them.
The drive to the airport takes twenty minutes, and I spend all of it trying to figure out what to say. Honey's busy with work. No, Tiff will call bullshit immediately. She's not feeling well. Too vague. She'll meet us at the game.
The last one is a little too hopeful. Will she show up at the game? I don’t even know what she’s feeling right now.
I pull into the arrivals area just as Tiff texts that they're at baggage claim.
By the time I find parking and make it inside, I spot them immediately—Ella's jumping up and down next to a luggage cart, her blonde pigtails bouncing, while Tiff wrestles with two suitcases that definitely exceed the weight limit.
Seeing them has finally given me a reason to smile.
They’re home. Finally.
“Zach!” Ella's shriek echoes through the terminal. She breaks into a run, and I barely have time to brace before she launches herself at me. I catch her, lifting her up as she giggles loudly.
When I bring her down, I hold her in a hug for a little longer because the weight of her in my arms is the first thing that’s felt solid since Honey walked away last night.
“Hey, Ella-bear.” I press my face into her hair, breathing in apple shampoo and goldfish crackers. “Missed you.”
“Where's Honey?” She pulls back, brown eyes searching behind me. “I brought Mr. Nibbles for her birthday!”
She holds up the stuffed fox, its ears are bent from being squeezed too hard on the plane.
My chest tightens. “She's, uh—she had to work this morning.”
Ella's face scrunches. “But it's her birthday.”
“I know, baby. But she'll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
Tiff arrives with the luggage cart and pulls me into a one-armed hug, but I feel her stiffen when she sees my face. “What the hell happened to your jaw?”
I set Ella down. “Covey U defense thought I was looking at him the wrong way.” I shrug. “It’s fine.”
“Uh-huh.” She doesn't believe me, but she lets it go for now. “Let's get out of here.”
I load the bags into the trunk, only able to hear Ella talking about how Mr. Nibbles got scared during takeoff while Tiff straps her into the car seat.
“Someone’s wired,” I say, walking past Tiff to get into the car.
Tiff groans as she shuts the door. “Yeah, she’s been wired the entire flight. She was too excited to sleep. Kept asking when we’d land so she could see you and Honey.”
I hear how carefully she says Honey’s name. She knows something’s up. I’m not surprised. She’s one of my best friends, after all.
By the time we’re on the highway, Ella is out cold.
“Finally,” Tiff exhales, then turns in her seat to look at me full-on. “Okay. Now talk. Where’s Honey.”
I keep my eyes on the road. “I don't know.”
“You don't know.”
“I think she’s at work, but she’s not answering my texts.”
“What happened?”
I swallow hard, still staring at the white lines on the highway. “I asked her to marry me last night.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“Because I love her… and I’m an idiot.” My hands tighten on the wheel. “Everything's been falling apart. Her best friend—” I stop myself.
“Olivia? What did she do?”
“Not her. Olivia’s fine. She’s flying in with Mike tomorrow.”
It’s the only semblance of hope I have. Maybe, just maybe Olivia will be able to talk some sense into her. “It’s another girl, but It doesn't matter. The point is, I thought if I showed her how serious I was about us, she'd see that we could get through anything, but I just made it worse.”
Tiff goes quiet, and I can feel her trying to piece together what I'm not saying. After a moment, she speaks carefully. “Did something happen between you and this other girl?”
I turn and look at Tiff with shock. “No. Nothing ever happened.” It’s not her fault she thinks that. I haven’t given her the full context. “It's complicated, but honestly? It doesn't even matter now.” I glance at her briefly. “The damage was already done. This girl just... exposed it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means Honey's been trying to figure out who she is for months, and everyone keeps telling her she's not good enough. Her dad, random people at games, this girl—” I stop myself before I say too much about Jenni.
“And me. I've been so busy trying to convince her she's perfect that I didn't realize I was just adding to the noise. She can't hear herself think.”
She reaches over and rests her hand on my knee. “I’m sorry, Zach. It sounds like your both really going through it, but Honey has always loved you. I think she just needs some time to come around.”
“No. It’s not that simple. You didn't see her face, Tiff. She looked... hollow. Like there was nothing left.”
“Because she's exhausted from trying to be everything for everyone.” Tiff shifts in her seat. “That doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It means she needs to love herself first.”
“I know that. I do but knowing it doesn't make it hurt less.”
We drive in silence for a few minutes, and I'm grateful Tiff doesn't try to fill it with empty reassurances. She's always been good at knowing when I just need to sit in my own shit for a while.
“For what it's worth,” she says finally, “I think you did the right thing.”
I look at her like she's lost her mind. “How is proposing at the worst possible moment the right thing?”
“Not that part. That was clearly the worst decision you’ve ever made.” She gives me a small smile. “But letting her walk away last night instead of chasing after her? That took guts and is probably exactly what she needed.”
“Thanks, but it doesn’t feel good.”
“It never will.” Tiff looks back at Ella, then at me. “You can’t force someone to stay, Zach. All you can do is hope they figure it out and choose to come back.”
“What if she doesn't come back?” The question slips out before I can stop it.
Tiff doesn't answer right away. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Then you'll know you loved her enough to let her go.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
I love her too much to let her go. That's the problem. It's always been the problem.
We pull into the driveway, and I help Tiff get Ella out without waking her. As Tiff carries her inside, she pauses to look around and squeezes my arm. “Thank you for this, Zach. For all of it.”
I manage a smile. “You're family.”
Having Tiff and Ella is right, but the house still feels wrong without Honey in it.
I check my phone one more time.
One New Message.
But it’s not from her.
I start to wonder if I’ll ever see a message from her again.