Chapter 2
TWO
Bryson
6 months later
She’s pregnant.
I’d heard the rumours, but I didn’t believe them. Maybe I just didn’t want to believe them.
But all the talk combined with the swollen belly I just saw her with, and I rapidly put two and two together as the truth.
I’m not an idiot, I know what the risks are – you have sex and there’s always a risk, no matter how small, but I didn’t think it would happen to her .
I can’t even believe she had sex at all. She’s so sweet, so innocent, and he’s such a gigantic fucking tool bag.
I’ve tolerated the guy for years, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually liked him. Maybe I just feel that way now that he has my girl in the most permanent way possible.
Some people probably think that’d be marriage, but I don’t agree. You can walk away from your vows. Sign a piece of paper and pretend it never happened. That’s not so easy to do with a kid. The two of them, they’re tied together for life now, no matter what happens. Their baby will always be a part of the both of them together .
“Are you alright?” Pax asks me.
I’m glad it’s him and not Cullen who is here when it’s finally become real for me.
I love Cull, I really do, but he can be a heartless bastard at times, and I know he’s run out of patience for me and my crap when it comes to Sophia. He’s a go-out-and-get-it type of guy. I find it hard to take something I don’t think I deserve, and I don’t think I could ever deserve Sophia.
But Pax… he’s put us all through endless amounts of shit this past while, he owes me at this point.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be alright with that cock sucker putting a baby inside her.”
It’s a fucked-up feeling – spending half of your life pining away for something and then watching as it’s gone with someone else. I’ve got no one to blame but myself. I should have made a move. I should have told her how I feel. I’ve had more than enough opportunities, but I don’t know how.
Something’s broken inside of me, and I don’t know how to let anyone in anymore.
“It’s a fucking shit hand. She’s my cousin. I don’t think I like it any more than you do.”
I forget they’re family now too. It’s lucky they never got it on.
“I don’t want that loser breeding into my family, we’ve got exceptional genes at this point, he’s going to go and ruin it.”
He’s wrong, no child that’s biologically linked to Sophia could ruin any gene pool, no matter who the daddy was, but I don’t bother getting into it. He’s still discovering his new family tree; he can have his opinions and feelings about it.
“Yeah, well I like the idea of it all about as much as a hole in the head,” I say.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I can’t do shit about it. I’m too late, and that’s on me, now I just have to live with it and hope that she’s happy.”
“Ice hates him. She’s pissed . She thought maybe he was alright in the beginning, but she changed her tune pretty quick. None of the girls want her to be with him. ”
That’s all good and well, but this isn’t about the girls. This isn’t about any of us, it’s about Sophia. As long as she’s okay, and she’s happy, then we all just have to suck it up and be happy for her too.
As much as it might kill me.
I don’t know why I’m bothering getting all butt hurt about it, it’s not like I’m in a place where I could have her anyway, I’m a mess.
It’s going to take a lot of time, and probably a lot of therapy to unpack everything that’s going on inside me. I’m the kind of fucked up you see on Instagram reels and think ‘that’s enough internet for the day’. There’s a lot of skeletons in this closet.
“Come down south with us. You know you don’t want to stay here.”
I sure as shit don’t want to stay here. I can think of few things I’d rather do less, but I can’t leave, not yet.
“I’m good. I’ve got my study sorted and I signed up to play for The Makos.”
“Sounds like a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.”
“Yeah, a full ride studying engineering, and being paid to play ball is a shit deal.”
“You know what I mean, bro. It’s this town, you need to get out of here. There’s gonna be so many sick parties and shit down south.”
I couldn’t care less about the parties, or the drinking, or any of it. I’ve done enough of that shit to last me a while. I prefer to be in control of myself. I’ll miss the guys, and I do wish I was escaping, but my life is tied to this town for now, and I’m not sure that will ever change, maybe once Carley is finally free of it, I might be too.
“I’ve made peace with my choices.”
It’s one of the few things I’ve made peace with these days.
He seems to accept that I’ve made up my mind and that he’s not going to be able to do a single fucking thing to change it, and just nods his head.
“You know where we are. Who knows what might happen in another year.”
I dread to think, honestly. I need to snap out of this mindset, but I can’t help it right now.
“I’m going to miss you, bro. Going to miss Darren more.” He claps me on the shoulder.
I chuckle. Fucking Darren. I’d be happy if my drunk alter ego stayed deep down inside me forever.
“Darren is dead and buried.”
“You’ll be singing a different tune when I come back next and we’re sinking a few beers.” He smirks.
“I think I might retire from drinking permanently.”
He holds up his hands, palms facing me. “Hey now, don’t go making any hasty calls.” He shakes his head at me. “Saying things you’ll god damn regret,” he mutters .
I really am going to miss him, his bullshit and his banter.
“Remember me when you’re a famous rugby player or you’re exhibiting your art in New York City or whatever,” I tell him.
“I’ll try, but it’ll be hard to recall all the little people, you know? I’m not sure my eyesight is good enough to see you all the way down here.”
Smart prick.
I hope like fuck that he makes something of himself. I believe that he will now. Not so long ago, I wasn’t too sure which way it was going to go – he was sending his opportunities down the shitter at a rapid rate of knots, but he’s turned it around and got his crap together.
I’m proud of him.
“Just try not to kill him, okay?” he says warily.
“Who?” I frown.
“Tonks,” he replies, bringing me back to reality with a harsh jolt.
Fucking Tonks.
“I won’t touch him,” I promise.
“She’ll be alright,” he tries to reassure me.
“Will she?” I mutter.
I’m not convinced. Not at all.
She’s young, apparently a little irresponsible, and she’s going to be here without the girls who have her back.
I want her to be okay, I really do, but what I want, and what I believe to be true, have always been very different things.
I wish I’d done things differently.
I wish I’d made better decisions.
But the reality is, I have no choice anymore. No say in the matter. I have to let her go, forever .