5. Queenie
It’s odd when your brain is working, but you cannot make anything else work. I am stuck in a half-sleep-awake zone, and whatever medications they have me on makes everything bearable. I threatened the doctor before passing out that snitches get stitches. Hopefully, she understood my message of don’t say shit to anybody. I don’t want anyone to know the severity of my injuries. Nobody is going to know the extent of what those assholes did to me. They already look at me like I am fragile. I don’t want to see the pity in their eyes whenever they look at me. I will tell them enough to explain what happened to me.
If they find out, they will just get pissed and beat on their chests like gorillas before overcompensating everything. It would overshadow what I am dealing with. All I need to do is tell them enough that Mother needs to be gone. My eyes finally cooperate with me and open up, and I see my brothers and Joker sitting around me. My good eye narrows on them, already annoyed. If I don’t get annoyed, I will cry, and I can’t right now. “It’s rude and creepy to watch someone sleep. Go home and leave me to my drugs.”
“No. Nobody is leaving until we know who is after you,” Jack says as he squeezes my hand. I close my eyes and take a deep breath because if anyone could get me to break, it’s Jack. It’s hard to compose yourself when you are being stared down by four of the most intense men you know.
I cannot look at them when I finally open my eyes again. Instead, I look at the ceiling anywhere but their faces. “Mother arranged it. They worked on Mom’s security detail and were happy to do her bidding. They beat me… repeatedly. I’m going to kill her.” I didn’t want to tell them about the rape, but it’s been implied, I think. It’s the best I can do. Saying the words out loud is something I can’t seem to make myself do. It’s better to come from me and be truthful. Well, as truthful as I wanted to be.
Ace’s face distorts in anger. He glares at Joker as he punches a hole in the wall before pointing at Joker. He moves closer to Joker, wanting to take his anger out on someone, and King pulls him back. “You should have said something. We could have had a team in place to detain her.”
Joker didn’t tell them. My heart warms as I feel my stomach drop from the shock of that news, and I don’t know why. I want to be pissed at him for calling them in the first place, but now that falls away. It wasn’t like he could explain this away. By “this,” I mean surgery and hospital stays. Our organization is powerful, and we can hide and change many things, but this will leave quite a paper trail. We have the money, but I know he did the right thing, as hard as that is to admit. The man is on my side, and now it’s my turn to return the favor. “Joker didn’t know either! I didn’t tell him! Stop acting like this happened to you! It happened to me.” I point my fingers to my chest. “If anyone may be angry, it’s me, you three Stooges!” I point to my brothers, who look like angry gorillas, just like I thought they would, making the whole thing about their egos and trying to fix something that can’t be fixed. “Now, shut the fuck up and calm down before security gets called.” My brothers don’t need to know that Joker killed them all already. This is now our story, and we control the narrative.
Joker’s eyes lock on mine, and I can tell we have a pact despite no words exchanged. His eyes are always on mine, never wavering as I am pleading with him, and I hope he understands the message. “I got a tip, but that’s it. The place was abandoned when I got there.” My eyes close in relief, and I exhale one problem away.
“Damnit!” Ace feels his jacket and pants pockets. “I don’t even have my phone to text anyone at the compound. Who do we even trust at this point?” Ace’s eyes go wide. Then they softened slowly, pleading with me to understand. “I got to go! Tess is supposed to come by, and I completely spaced! I don’t want anyone to find her—.”
I cut him off, not wanting something like what happened to me to happen to her. “Get your ass in gear and get there!” As I watch him leave, I can’t help but wonder how the birthday movie date I helped set up went.
When he leaves the room, the doctor knocks on the door, clearing her throat. Her hair is slightly graying but looks polished. I suppose, as a doctor, you are supposed to look like you have your shit together, even in light blue scrubs. “Excuse me, gentlemen. Can Queenie and I have the room, please?”
All the men in the room look like they want to argue. “She probably needs to see naked parts of me, and I’m related to two out of three in this room.” I look at Joker. “Go shower and change. Someone can wait outside the room if one of you insists on staying.” I don’t want to tell them I want someone next to me when I wake up. Nobody would fault me if I asked, but I already feel like a liability. Laying in this bed, I feel so fragile and exposed. The men who hurt me are all dead, but the puppet master is still out there. So, even if I could admit I want someone here because I am weak and terrified, she will send someone to finish the job, and those words will not leave my mouth.
Joker looks at me like he wants to argue as he crosses his arms and huffs. His jaw tightens, and he shakes his head before Jack jumps in to help me. “I will stay here tonight.” He pauses and looks Joker up and down as he scoffs, shaking his head. “Seriously, Joker, you look like you belong at a Halloween Express store. They could file you away next to Freddy and Jason between your angry face...” He motions his hand to his face in a circular motion, “... and the blood. It’s not a good look. I will not leave her.” Jack holds up his finger before he points to me and then at the doctor. “Let me clarify that a bit. I won’t leave the hospital, but I will leave the room because your lady bits are a hard limit pass for me.” He clicks his tongue before he points at the door. “Just be right out here.”
After the door closes, the doctor lets out a sigh. “Since you have been here, you have threatened me, plus dealing with Halloween Express and your brothers for news... I know who you all are. That’s the only reason I have been happy that HIPAA is a thing. I ran a full STD panel; so far, everything has come back fine, but I will need to follow up. We have antibiotics going. You’re fortunate he got you here in time.” I feel she is leading up to bad news, and I grip the coarse white hospital blanket that feels like it’s 50% starch. “There was a lot of trauma done to your body. We had to perform a hysterectomy. You still have your ovaries, but that’s it. If you want to have kids—.”
I wave my hand over my throat, signaling to cut it. “Kids are a big no. Continue.” Why does that still make my heart hurt slightly, though? Sure, I never wanted to have children, but it was always a choice I could make if I wanted to. Now it’s gone. I blink back tears but motion for her to continue.
“Ruptured spleen, enlarged liver, and broken ribs are most of the major players. We must keep you here for a few days to observe and ensure no more issues arise. Use your pain pump medicine to keep ahead of the pain. Do you have questions for me?”
I shake my head, not wanting to talk or feeling like I could come up with the words. I clear my throat several times, trying to swallow the lump that has formed. The doctor hands me a cup of water. “Umm, thanks. Can you tell Jack to give me a few minutes before coming back in?”
When the door latches shut, I allow myself to cry. I cry for the Queenie I was just a week ago. I mourn the loss of her because I am no longer that girl. She is gone, and I am left in place of her. I will never feel like this ever again. Never will I allow myself to be vulnerable anymore. Never again will men touch me when I don’t want them to. I will train myself twice as hard as anyone else to ensure it.
When Jack returns to the room, he ignores my tear-streamed face. “How’s everything internally?” He scrunches his nose up before motioning to his stomach area.
“I guess I had a ruptured spleen?” I shrug at him like it’s no big deal. “My liver’s also enlarged, so cut back on drinking for a bit because I won’t be an ideal candidate for a transplant.”
His lips are thin, and he makes a funny, concentrated face by moving his lips to the side while clicking with his tongue. “I know I should know what a spleen does, but I got nothing.”
“Maybe you should expand on spleen knowledge while you’re here.” I laugh and wince because, damn, even with drugs, it hurts. “I think we should stab people in the spleen from now on.”
Jack nods his head and lets out a small laugh. “If a serial killer comes out and part of the profile is that the killer loves to stab people in the spleen, I will be on to you.”
“Dork.” I groan, and Jack moves and clicks my pain pump and lowers the fall rails of the bed before walking over to the empty bed on the other side of the room. He unlocks the wheels before rolling it next to me. “Jack, you can’t use a patient bed! They are going to ask you to leave!” I scold him, but my words slightly slur from meds taking hold.
“Shhh! You’re going to upset your spleen!” He kicks his shoes off and hops into the bed beside me before taking my hand. “And no, they won’t ask me to leave, probably because they don’t want Joker to return.” He pauses as he flips through the channels. “Comedy?”
I roll my eyes and smile because he looks terrifying with all the blood on him. It wasn’t my first time seeing him covered in blood, so the shock factor wasn’t there for me. I’m pretty sure he threatened everyone when bringing me into the ER terminal. Instead of commenting more on that, tears gather again in my eyes. I clear my throat and nod. “For sure, nothing serious.”
Jack says nothing about the tears other than squeezing my hand. When the movie is almost over, he leans over and presses my pain pump because he probably knows I won’t unless it’s dire. He says, “You can sleep. I won’t leave you.” My eyes close, and he leans back against his bed. “We will stab all of them in the dick. I am so glad Joker found you. From the womb to the tomb, Queenie.”