Chapter 18 #2
I take a breath, idly twisting my hands in a shortcut kata. That’s not fair. She does have some real concerns. I think she’s approaching it the wrong way, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s acting in bad faith.
“Romasa is another rep,” Teren informs me quietly.
Oh, good. A person invested in not rocking the boat while portraying other people as dangerous is just what we need.
Deep breaths, Yora—
“And who’s going to volunteer?” another man asks. Waten.
This one had not been pleasant in my line. He’d been so entitled Zan had had to restrain me from straight-up punching him in the nose for the satisfaction of hearing it crunch.
“You won’t see me volunteering to risk my life for a bucket of ice,” Waten says. “Maybe some teenagers have time—”
Romasa interrupts, “You think our children should risk their lives?”
I tune out the squabbling as I look at Zan.
Because Haben’s instincts are right, even if he didn’t go quite far enough.
There’s an obvious solution to only one person being able to access ice: make the ice equally accessible.
If Crystal Hollow isn’t worried about my source of ice, I get to keep making ice cream.
If I get to keep making ice cream, well, first of all I get to keep eating ice cream whenever I want.
But also Zan and I have a place.
Even if it’s one I’m evidently going to have to fight for.
But maybe I’m not done fighting after all.
In Romasa’s defense, she’s not wrong that there will be consequences to Crystal Hollow having its own ice supply, and people being able to access Sanctuary Mountain.
But the consequences, ultimately, mean more autonomy from the Order.
“Do you know where the ice line ran?” I ask Zan quietly.
His eyebrows shoot up, then down.
Not completely telepathic, then. I feel a little smug that I can still surprise him.
Which fades when he responds, hatefully neutrally, “If you rebuild the ice line, you’re inviting people into your world. You won’t be able to stay separate from them, Yora.”
It’s not that he didn’t think of this, then; it’s that he didn’t think I would want it.
Because it won’t just be the people of Crystal Hollow on the mountain.
It will be a direct action to separate from dependence from the Order, which they will not take lying down.
But it’s time someone started acting against them.
They’re going to keep coming for me. That’s inevitable, after the disaster of our last meeting.
You don’t win a siege against overwhelming force by playing defense.
I can’t just keep reacting.
And neither, I think, can the people of Kameya.
Because after five hundred years, the Order is, if anything, worse.
Appeasing bullies never makes them quit.
It emboldens them to take more.
I’m sheltered from a lot of the world, but I saw that time and again among the ranks of the Order.
“That’s a yes, then,” I say.
Zan sighs. “Yes. I can show you where it used to be, and you can show them.”
“Or you can show them.” Because he doesn’t need to leave.
His jaw clenches.
At least he doesn’t shrug.
“Do you think it’s a bad idea?” I ask him. “If you don’t want to—”
“I will help you,” Zan cuts me off.
Of course he will. I don’t even have to wonder at that.
But he won’t help by staying.
I take a deep breath.
Suppressing rage isn’t healthy long-term, but I can do it.
If he tries to leave me tonight “for my own good,” though, he’ll feel the full force of it.
I stand again to get everyone’s attention, and I don’t wait for them to quiet down to announce, “We have spent a lot of time on the mountain.”
On one side of me, Zan’s lips twitch, and on the other, Teren chokes.
Who knew I could be so funny? What a world.
“There used to be an ice line on the mountain, before the Quiet,” I say. “We can show you where, and rebuild it.”
The reaction this time is quieter.
Finally Haben grunts, “Big undertaking.”
“Indeed,” Waten says. “You think we should trust two strangers for all of our ice needs? Be serious.”
“It will take more than two people to rebuild the line,” Zan volunteers abruptly. “It’s a job for all of Crystal Hollow, and that means you won’t be dependent on us.”
“And who exactly do you think is going to volunteer for that?”
“Me,” Nomi finally says mildly.
Nomi isn’t running this meeting so that her vouching for us, conversely, doesn’t raise questions about our credibility.
“And then who’s going to fix our houses while you’re busy wasting time on a mountaintop?” Waten demands.
“People who want to be out from under the thumb of the Order for whatever reason, the same as the rest of us, Waten, but also people who need jobs we didn’t have.”
Oh. I hadn’t even thought of that.
“Smart,” Zan notes quietly next to me. “People who have connections outside can report back that however the Order tries to paint Crystal Hollow, it’s not accurate.”
“And with more traffic, there will be more demand for people’s goods,” Teren adds. “It’s always been a problem here—only so many people who live here need new blankets every day, you know?”
Or a new pair of boots, or a painting.
Or ice cream.
If Crystal Hollow doesn’t have to be isolated anymore, many of its limitations go away.
At the same time, I remember what Zan made me realize before: that welcoming everyone, including bad actors, makes it less safe for those who are vulnerable.
So some limits, some boundaries, are necessary. But without a magical field shielding Crystal Hollow from the Order, how can I keep them out? What else do I have to offer?
I look at Zan, who can offer knowledge of the ice line—
Oh, of course.
Knowledge.
Both of us have that, in spades.
I open my mouth, but to my surprise, Teren elbows me.
“Wait,” he says quietly, gaze intent. “We’re already pushing their comfort levels hard. Too much too soon and you’ll lose them.”
Or push them too far, like I had with the Order.
I nod and bring my thoughts back to the situation at hand, not the realm of ideas and ambitions.
The habits of five hundred years of meditation are hard to break, but I can read people, and Teren is right.
So it’s too soon to offer them free access to magical knowledge. We do still need a boundary of some kind, though, or else the priests will be all up in our business.
And they’re not going to like it, but it’s still a sticking point that I think we need to hit head-on lest they claim later that I’m trying to be underhanded.
I look at Zan, and this time I think he knows what I’m considering because he looks resigned.
He doesn’t believe even I can do this.
And that pisses me off, not least because I’m worried he’s right, but I can’t let it go.
I take a breath, but this time it isn’t a calming one.
“Before we go any further,” I say, “I think it’s important to note that we will only share our knowledge of and access to the ice line as long as the Order is not invited to help. We will pay our taxes to the empire, but this effort must be by Crystal Hollow, for Crystal Hollow.”
That gets a reaction.
“Excuse me,” Romasa says, “You want to go against the Order?”
Waten snorts. “Good luck making that stick.”
Here we go.
“Crystal Hollow has been without the Order for centuries,” I say.
“I don’t know all your reasons, but everyone is here on purpose, aren’t you?
You don’t just choose to live somewhere this isolated from easy magic on accident.
I’m saying that just because the Quiet has fallen, you don’t need to cede the island to them.
They’re not the ones who made it what it is today: You are. ”
“And when the priests try to force the issue, what are we supposed to do?” Waten snaps.
I’m losing them. I know it, but I can’t lose this fight without losing everything—Teren’s safety, my freedom, Zan’s life.
I can’t.
“There are more laypeople than priests,” I say. “We keep this sanctuary by countering their narrative, by showing people on the mainland what’s possible without them—”
“We?” Romasa interrupts. “You are an outsider. What you’re proposing is an insane risk.
For whatever reason, the Quiet has fallen.
The priests will come, and no one can stand against them, do you understand?
What you’re proposing is a child’s dream, and the people at risk are the ones whose homes are here, not you. It isn’t worth it.”
The room rumbles with assent. Troubled, frustrated, but no one disagrees.
They don’t think anyone can stand separate to the priests. And why would they?
Even the Quiet fell.
But:
I didn’t.
The Sage of Wrath still lives, in spite of them all.
They don’t know that, though.
I close my eyes for a moment, readying myself.
I squeeze Zan’s hand, then reach toward the bow in my hair.
“Yora—” he starts.
But then before I can speak, someone else does.
Into the quiet, Teren says, “Would you turn me over to them, then? To enslave?”
I whip to face him, wide-eyed.
The talisman isn’t around his neck anymore.
Gods damn it, that’s why he’s been fingering it, not just as a crutch—
Romasa frowns at him. “The priests cannot be crossed, but they certainly don’t enslave people, that’s a gross—”
She breaks off mid-word as Teren glows green.
“They enslave people like me,” he says quietly. “Or am I suddenly not a person anymore, do you think?”
This time, the room is utterly silent.
I don’t dare close my eyes again, on alert for anyone who might attack Teren, even as my thoughts trip over themselves.
How dare he risk himself when he has so much to lose and I was right here—
And the shit of it is I can see immediately that this reveal will be more effective from him, because they know him, when I might as well be a myth, and he has just singlehandedly stopped the turning tide in its tracks—
But if I can’t even protect one person with my own power, if I can’t even win when I fight, what good am I—
“Goddammit, Teren,” Haben finally growls. “This is why the priests have been in Crystal Hollow, then? Now that the Quiet is down, they can sense you?”