Chapter eight
The following morning was quiet as I helped Camilla tie the corset on her back.
She was clothed in beautiful blue silks with gold threads, and she wore sparkling gold jewelry to match.
“I have to say, I’m glad you haven’t died yet.
It’s not easy to be a woman in a place like this,”
she said softly, almost like there was a heavy weight to her words.
I was thankful she couldn’t see my eyes widen.
Was she being nice to me.
“We’ll be heading over to Aris’ tent.
On the way there, you can grab My Lord and me our breakfast.
We’ll take it together.”
And I did just that.
Not caring to hurry back to the emperor’s tent, I snatched pieces of bread and nuts for myself when I knew no one was looking.
The plan for escape hadn’t completely gone from my mind.
This stash should be plenty for the escape and my way back home if I conserved it. There was a slight bulge in the side of my dress, but it was hardly noticeable. Our enemies fed us, though it wasn’t much. My stomach growled violently, reminding me the last time I ate was last night.
On my way, another familiar face stumbled past me with warriors surrounding her.
Klawdia.
Our eyes locked in recognition.
Her face said it all; she was looking for a way out. She was barely surviving. Her arms were marked up and down with bruises. My heart fluttered in sympathy, wondering if she’d had a similar fate as mine or worse.
As soon as I entered the tent, Camilla’s strong lavender scent wafted to me.
Camilla was gracefully perched on his wooden table, her legs crossed, and her voice filling the air.
Her dark straight hair fell over one of her tan shoulders.
I tried not to stare, but it was difficult. It was like seeing a goddess in the darkest pits of Erus’ wrath.
Silently, I moved across the tent and placed the plates of food near the emperor, who was seated on his sheep-skinned chair.
For a moment, I almost pitied him, as it seemed he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Camilla’s hands held the emperor’s while she spoke.
But he seemed far away from here.
After a few moments, Camilla rose and sat on a chair next to the emperor as they ate in silence.
I wondered how long they had been together, or how long Camilla had thought they had been together.
They finished quickly and placed the utensils to the side.
Reaching over, she cupped her jeweled hands around his face.
Again, it was hard not to stare, but I’d never really seen anything like their dynamic before.
It was interesting how she seemed to want his attention in an intimate way.
He glanced over to her but then fluttered his eyes across the room to where I stood.
Eyes locked with his obsidian darkness.
I lowered my gaze.
Being curious always got me into trouble.
Camilla must have felt his attention leave her once more.
“Leave us, girl.
Wait outside,”
she ordered me.
I obeyed her instructions and waited at the entrance.
I could hear her whispers to the emperor about how they never had a moment of privacy and how she couldn’t wait to get away from here.
Warriors walked past me.
Some with prurient, curious gazes.
I diverted my body so that I was least exposed to unwanted attention.
I could hear Camilla’s boisterous laughter throughout the tent and a sound as if she collapsed on the emperor’s bed.
I was aware I remained visible to some degree by the sheer flaps, which made me uncomfortable.
If I could disappear for just a little while and come back without drawing any attention, I would.
But I also didn’t feel so confident away from the emperor’s tent while Oleo might be lurking nearby.
I heard a shriek from Camilla, and without thinking, I glanced towards the flaps.
Camilla was sprawled on the emperor’s bed below him, smiling and laughing into submission.
She melted into his bed, her body claiming the bed as fully hers.
He lowered his head to whisper in her ear as she intertwined her long fingers through his black hair.
She brought his head even closer to hers as their lips touched and parted.
The emperor smiled at something Camilla said, and it might have made my stomach flutter.
I tilted my head slightly at the way the emperor touched her.
He lowered his hips above Camilla’s, and for a moment, lifted his head from her face and glanced up.
Our eyes locked.
Shit.
Fuck.
I whirled from the sheer flaps.
Heat flushed my cheeks and neck.
All I wanted to do was hide under a bed and slam my head against the ground.
Why do I have to be so damn curious all the time? I scolded myself.
With a heavy sigh, I looked further towards the war tents to distract myself.
There was one thing I was certain of: I would never let a man touch me before my spirit left my body.
I would at no time ever carry a child, and on no occasion enjoy the company of a man.
I’d vowed it to myself when a man tore my mother and sister apart, and I would uphold that vow until I joined them in Hevan.
That was, if Erus and his son, Altis accepted me. Maybe the gods were superstitious as well—I wouldn’t know. I did know that it wouldn’t be fair to bring children into a world where I couldn’t guarantee their safety. I’d rather end my life than meet the same fate as my family.
In the beginning, my father worried about how curious I was.
He was afraid and sheltered my mind and body.
Maybe that was one of the reasons why I vowed celibacy because I knew I was quick to do things that would be troublesome for me.
I needed to cage myself in a way, just as my father did. It was for the best.
But witnessing all of this now, I wondered, for a moment, if I had been wrong.
Unexpectedly, I heard a different commotion in the room, like a conversation that wasn’t going well with hushed voices.
I glanced and saw the emperor standing and lacing his dark tunic.
Camilla reached for him to join her again, but instead he said something and turned his back to her, clearly not having it.
At once, I looked away towards the war tents before he caught me again.
For a moment, I remembered what Camilla told Tobias, how the emperor noticed everything.
I couldn’t agree more.
As I searched for nothing in particular in the distance, I squinted and noticed someone approaching the emperor’s tent.
Ryle, the advisor from earlier.
I didn’t stop him as he passed the flaps and entered the tent.
“Camilla, get up!”
Ryle said in an agitated tone.
“Father.”
Camilla jumped off the bed and tightened her dress around her chest as the laces had gotten looser.
“Leave.
We have important things to discuss,”
Ryle commanded Camilla.
She hastily slipped her sandals on and stormed out of the tent with her brows furrowed.
I could almost see the steam coming from her ears.
Camilla and I could hear Ryle from outside the entrance flaps.
“I apologize, Aris.
I know how she can be.”
The emperor and Ryle’s voices faded, and Camilla rolled her eyes.
“The emperor told me his wound doesn’t feel worse, maybe slightly better than before.
You’re to stay here and clean it once more before he leaves for the last battle today.
Come straight to my tent after.
I’ll be in need of you.”
Camilla stormed down the dirt paths in between white tents, her gold jewels flashing in the bright sun just when Tobias turned a corner and matched his pace with Camilla’s.
They walked together until I couldn’t see them any longer.
I heard Ryle and the emperor mutter about what their plans would consist of once they reached the front line today.
It was the same as it always had been in war; they were conquering more lands and killing more of our people.
I imagined my sister walking through the afterlife back into this life and shaking me until I had the strength to make a difference in this world.
Lost in thought about my sister, time flew by until Ryle finally stepped out and followed the same direction as Camilla.
I bowed my head, avoiding any attention.
“Girl, bring me some food.
I’m still famished,”
the emperor called out from behind me.
On my way back to the emperor’s tent, I snatched more herbs for him and extra for my journey back home.
I barely knew where I was in the world, but I would rather be in control of my life and lost than captive in a foreign land I grew up learning and fearing about.
The things that they told us sent shivers down my spine.
It was rare that anyone survived a place like theirs.
My fear of ending up like people in the stories I had been told pushed me to finish my escape plans.
I couldn’t wait around to find out if that would also be my fate.
Using the opportunity that the emperor was heading to the front line of the battle, bringing with him most of his men, I planned my escape for when they would be gone.
By the time they arrived back, I would be long gone before anyone, especially Camilla, realized I’d left.
As I walked through the flaps of his tent, the emperor was laying his fighting leathers out on his bed ready to be worn.
I placed his plated meat on the wooden table and waited patiently for him.
Refusing to be curious again, I kept my eyes glued to the floor.
As soon as he finished, I went to the freshwater bowl near his bedside.
Without a word, he sat on his bed as I peeled the wilted herbs one by one from his skin.
I reached for the wet cloth and began to clean his wound.
It looked like it was healing perfectly. I gave myself a slight smile. Just as I was about to retreat, he took my hand in an iron hold I could not escape.
“I saw you earlier.”
The emperor peered into my eyes.
My heart thundered in my chest.
My gaze dropped to where his hand held mine.
I knew exactly what moment he was referring to.
I attempted to regain control of my hand and wrist but to no avail. His strength was overpowering.
He placed a finger under my chin and lifted it so that my eyes met his.
“You look familiar…”
I swallowed, and warmth rushed to my face.
His eyes grew darker and narrowed as he searched my soul intently.
In that moment, I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it—preferably very far away from him.
I tried to pull my face away.
He finally released me and chuckled softly.
I stepped to the side of the tent while he buckled his leather armor across his chest.
He left shortly after without so much as a glance my way.
My eyes followed his powerful body out of the tent, knowing he probably felt them on him.
Little did he know, he’d never see me again.