Chapter fifty
Four months passed with Aris and I living a life out in this small cottage, a few days’ journey from Siniya.
Of course, Aris had to leave from time to time to ensure the maintenance of his empire, but he’d always come back.
When he wasn’t at the palace, his mother acted as regent for him.
She was ruling in his stead with just and grace, the perfect person to take care of his kingdom when he wasn’t there. He’d ask me every time if I’d want to join him back in Siniya, but I wasn’t ready.
Each time Aris came back, he’d make sure to bring more herbs and seeds for me to plant.
They were from Fenrah, who now shared the apothecary with Peter, and she’d shove bags of herbs, seeds, and letters in his arms before he’d leave the palace.
Apparently, it was a whole show when he departed with gifts for me from people like Nirelle and Sebry.
Everyone at the palace knew I wasn’t there when he’d visit, so they knew he was staying with me somewhere else.
But the herbs and the letters I received from Fenrah made me happy, and the garden was now prepared for spring.
Pacha had a lady friend, Willow.
Aris brought her home when he rescued her from an abusive owner, who he had flogged in the square as punishment.
Willow and I learned our boundaries with each other, and in turn Willow grew fond of Pacha, who gave her time and patience to grow accustomed to him.
Willow was letting Pacha come closer and closer with each day that passed, and that made me smile. I admired how brave Willow was and how she was open to trusting Pacha after all she’d been through.
Besides snuggling together during the colder nights and when we were stargazing, Aris hadn’t once tried to touch me in an intimate way.
I wasn’t quite ready.
I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin yet.
But now…now, I felt like I was beginning to be.
At times, I’d look at the scar around my neck in the mirror longer than Aris would have liked.
I’d feel the tension in his body almost like he wanted to shake my shoulders when he’d tell me it didn’t matter.
He’d say I was more beautiful to him now than I ever was and the spirit within me glowed more strongly every day.
And he was right—that I was growing stronger with each day.
He was waiting for me.
I knew he was.
He’d been gone now for a little over a week, but I knew he’d be back either today or tomorrow.
I hope he’d come bearing news and drama from the palace, things I’d loved to hear.
It was one of the first things I’d ask as soon as he was back: what’s new, what’s happened with so-and-so, or how is Peter doing with the apothecary.
The last time he had come back to the cottage, though, he had let me know he found Maeri in a nearby village. I knew he had some awful plan set for her. I saw it in his eyes. I panicked.
I begged on my knees he would not harm her.
I didn’t want her blood on my hands, either—I couldn’t bear it.
“I don’t blame Maeri for what she did—what she thought she had to do and that she had no choice.
I forgive her.
She was a friend to me, once, a long time ago, and I will never forget that.”
Aris’ entire being froze in that moment, but he gave me what I asked knowing that it went against what he thought Maeri deserved.
He swore he wouldn’t bring harm to Maeri.
I couldn’t believe it, but he kept his promise.
A few times, Nirelle was brought back to the cottage, and it was the sweetest reunion between.
I realized that our friendship wasn’t as quick as Maeri and I’s, but ours was slow and tender in a way that blossomed into something so sweet and fulfilling.
I cherished Nirelle, the light she was and the stories she would tell—her eyes lit up every time she’d explain her drunken moments with men at the pub or how incredibly jealous and territorial Justir would get when a man laid a hand on her.
She made me laugh.
Since we arrived four months ago, I had become more at peace these days than before.
During the first few weeks, I’d have terrible episodes and even nightmares thinking I was back in the cage, but Aris held me through them, reminding me he was here with me.
He never let me go—no matter how bad those moments got.
He didn’t let me go until I pulled myself up again and a new day began. Each time got easier. I went through those episodes when he was gone, too, but I got stronger because of it. I was learning to pull myself together alone.
I had the courage to heal.
I had everything I needed, the tools in front of me, to pull through in this life.
My life was worth breathing, no matter how hard it got.
Willow made some sounds that brought me back to this world, and I looked over and saw the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.
My heart stopped for a moment.
Aris rode Pacha into the clearing.
He was home.
I slammed the book I was reading shut, placed it on the outdoor table, and ran to him.
He climbed off Pacha, who neighed his happiness at being home, and opened his arms to my flying body.
“You’re back,”
I murmured against his chest.
He squeezed me tightly, as if it’d been months instead of a week.
As if he still saw that version of me on the dais.
Almost lifeless.
Almost gone. But not quite.
“I’m happy to be home.”
He closed his eyes and deeply inhaled the scent of my hair.
“Your home,”
I repeated against his chest.
“Yes…if that’s alright with you,” he said.
It was wild to think he thought of this place, a place of humbleness, as home when he had a luxurious palace full of servants who’d do anything and everything for him.
This place where we made food together from the garden we worked so hard at, where he cut firewood from the forest for us to be warm at night, where he worked to keep this small cottage functioning and for some reason he thought it was the most perfect place for him to call home.
I lifted my head so I could look into his eyes.
“Of course it is.
I just never thought you’d think of this place as home like I do.
I thought maybe you considered the palace your home.”
He brushed a few hairs slipping from my braid away from my face.
“It doesn’t matter where the place is.
As long as you’re there, that’s where my home is.”
My heart felt warm in that moment, and I couldn’t resist my eyes lowering to his lips.
But I said.
“I made something for you.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
He winked at me, and I flushed.
“Zucchini bread.”
Aris smiled in a full grin.
“My favorite.
You’re the best.”
He leaned in and brushed those soft lips against my cheek.
I tried to hide the fact I was completely flustered while I helped him with Pacha, who was equally as excited to see his Willow.
But I didn’t think I fooled him since he tended to notice everything.
How annoying.
After eating a slice of zucchini bread, Aris leaned back on the chair and gave me this look.
Like he was waiting.
Like he knew what I wanted from him.
He had this smile—a smirk—like he knew I craved him, and his arm draped over the chair, and he waited, patiently.
My neck burned insufferably hot, and I got up to place the dishes in the sink.
After I rinsed them in the bowl, I turned—
He was behind me with no space between us, his face close to mine, reading me.
“Why are you so nervous?”
he asked casually, narrowing his eyes.
“W—why are you so close to me?”
I stammered.
He took a step closer.
“Because you want me to be.”
My breath hitched.
“How do you know that?”
“The way your body is moving.”
His voice lowered, and his hands found their home on my body, grazing along the curve of my hips and waist.
“The way your face is warm.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips along my cheeks.
“The way your neck is warm.”
He traced his mouth along my neck, licking and kissing, and I almost forgot to listen to what he was saying.
“And the way you’re talking to me.”
Every place he touched me, it created a burning sensation that I was his and he was mine.
His hand reached behind my neck, through my hair, and pulled me closer.
My lips parted.
“So, what do you want, my quiet sun?”
“I—I—”
I stumbled with quick breaths.
“I want—I want you.”
He traced kisses down my neck.
I could feel his smile.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
He licked the spot behind my ear and neck, and I melted in the heat of his breath.
I had enough of the teasing, and I pulled his face into my hands and brought his lips home.
His lips were warm and soft.
It felt as if I had reentered heaven.
I never forgot how good it was.
How sweet it was. The memory of his lips had been ingrained in my brain since the moment he claimed them in his chambers.
My mouth opened slightly, and his tongue swept in, and our kiss turned passionate and longing.
Damn, I’d missed this man.
My hands mingled in his hair, pulling him closer.
He tugged on my lower lip.
His hands sat on my hips and tugged me a bit closer to his.
He was my home.
Aris pulled back from my lips and looked into my eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
he whispered, brushing a finger across my cheek, catching a tear.
I stared at the teardrop.
I hadn’t realized I was crying.
“Nothing’s wrong.
I’ve just really missed you…”
I looked back into his eyes, and they turned a shade deeper.
“You’re one of the few things that make sense in my chaotic world.”
“I’ll never let you go, Solei,”
Aris promised.
“Even if you hate me and kick me out of this cottage, I’ll never let you go.”
I let out a soft chuckle.
“Good.
I’m counting on that.”
I pulled his mouth back to mine and kissed him fiercely.
“Because you’re mine,”
I said between our lips.
I could tell those words sung in his veins because he then grabbed my backside, and he leaned so far that we nearly tipped over the bowl I had washed the plates in.
We both smiled at the mess we were making; it was time to change the scenery.
He lifted me carefully in his arms and carried me into our bedroom and onto the bed he’d been holding me in every night.
My heart was thumping against my ribcage.
He sat me on the bed, tongues entwined, and I pressed my body against his.
My hands fumbled, bringing his tunic over his chest and neck, and I grazed my lips over his body.
He, in turn, wrapped my sleeves around his fingers and slowly, very slowly, brought them past my chest, stomach, hips and then—snapped the dress off me.
Oh, he was hungry.
I smiled, and that made him go wild.
He closed my mouth with his kisses.
Gods, I missed him, I missed him, the voices in my head were singing.
And I loved him, with every cell in my being, I loved him.
Tears were falling from my face, and he kissed every one of them, and I laughed and then he laughed.
He laid my bare body against the bed, but before he could crawl on top of me, I twisted my body and pushed him into the bed.
His lips curved.
“Have me however you want, darling.”
I smiled as I unbuttoned his trousers and dragged them off his legs.
My chest tightened at the proof of the pleasure he received from our bodies mingling with each other.
Aris pulled my neck back to his soft lips, and my own insides became a powerful current, flowing through my body.
He pressed against my entrance.
My mind remembered the night we had together, so long ago.
So full of passion and love. But my body tensed for a moment as if it had forgotten, and then relaxed. I whimpered softly as he entered me.
I released myself around him, and the deeper he went, sounds I’d never made before left my lips.
Our breathing synced with each other deeply and powerfully—unlike anything I’d ever felt.
His hands wrapped gently around my back, guiding me.
It felt so incredible.
It was so like him to guide me through anything.
He’d always been there for me, showing me just how wonderful life could really be.
He moved his hands to my hips.
“You’re mine, Solei.”
He gripped them firmly, and I finally let go.
I leaned more into him, he knew exactly how to—
My release rippled through me, and I welcomed it and allowed it to fully envelope my existence and stop time itself.
Exhaustion hit, and he twisted my body flat against the bed.
Aris caressed my body from where he was above me.
My hands grazed and explored his chest and his back.
His mouth began on my nipples, playing with it between his teeth, and then he dragged his tongue, slowly, to my mouth.
I caught his lips, his tongue deep inside me as his hips began to move between my legs.
The feelings I had for him were so overwhelming, so powerful that another moment in time and space caused me to leave my body.
He worshipped my voice, my body responding, and finally release met him, too.
We held each other, bare, breathing deeply and heavily.
I was speechless.
I looked over to Aris.
He was in another world.
Something in my chest swelled and expanded, as I had something to do with that look on his beautiful face.
He turned and met my eyes.
They were clear. Magnetic.
My pulse sped up more than when we were claiming each other.
I’d never felt this level of passion and intensity before.
It had crept slowly, so slowly, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
“I love you, Solei,”
Aris whispered.
He traced the back of his finger against my flushed cheek.
I never thought he’d say those words to anyone, but yet here he was, confessing his undying love for me.
Tears filled my eyes, and I whispered what I knew all along.
“I love you, Aris.”
He claimed my mouth again, and my tongue danced with his.
“Marry me, Solei.”
It wasn’t a question, I realized.
There wasn’t a choice.
I was his.
I nodded, and tears fell onto my cheek and splattered on the bed where we just made love.