Chapter 9 Cursed #5
“Look at me,” he said, Ella jolting, having not realized that her gaze had strayed so obviously to it. She felt she’d been caught stealing, listening to him if only to avoid any chance he might ask about the table that now lingered in the corner of her vision.
Ella exhaled slowly, uncomfortable with the intensity of his stare, and wondering if he’d take the offensive right then and there.
After a few moments, she settled down , but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d simply sat with another person in mutual silence.
It felt more personal to her than sharing secrets, as if the present was a secret most people hid from each other.
Jackson didn’t rush to move, instead he seemed to sink into his own thoughts as if he’d noticed something in her eyes and wanted a better look.
She let him look, knowing averting her gaze would tip him off if he wasn’t already suspicious of her.
The subtle shift in his focus invited her deeper into her own and for the first time she saw his face, not for its expressions, but with a recognition of its parts.
In a way that an artist might appreciate watching an ordinary object she realized that the thickness of his dark brows intensified his natural gaze.
He’d broken his nose, possibly more than once, and a scar disfigured one nostril, carving a needle-like path to the top of his lip and starting again at the fullest part of his bottom lip.
His face had been shaped by the elements of life like a mountain range, capturing the essence of strength in that it made scarring seem natural.
She felt drawn to his face for such a reason, unable to distinguish if he was truly handsome or not because she’d lost all objectivity. Superficial attractions could be fleeting, but she was horrified to find that it was some measure of respect that arrested her now. That would be harder to shake.
Kay was right after all in his hurtful presumptions. She liked this man. More than that, she admired him. She really was losing her mind.
“Tell me about Peter,” she said, interrupting the moment and heading off further exploration of the revelation.
“He was the worst of them,” he replied and to her surprise, he turned away almost restlessly. “The oldest. The most powerful. Until I have proof that he’s dead, I can’t be sure how the war actually ended. This is a stupid mission. You shouldn’t be on it.”
“I’m not going to apologize for waking you up,” she said, and he looked her over again, measuring again.
His incongruence deepened in front of her.
As relaxed as he seemed, the undercurrent pulled harder in his eyes and she almost felt like he hated her.
Against all reason, she wanted to provoke him.
He chuckled before drawing from his cigarette, releasing the air, “You think I’m asking you to?” he replied.
“No. I don’t think it would make much of a difference. I think you hate that I woke you up, might even hate me for it.”
“Hate,” he rolled the word off his tongue as if tasting it, and the way he tasted it made her feel like he was indeed comparing his feelings, asking himself if hate truly was a good fit.
As if resenting her analysis, he purred back, “It seems clear to me, I’ll be doing most of the work between the three of us.
I wouldn’t be so quick to try and bite the hand that feeds you,” he tossed the cigarette at her feet and walked off.
“Isn’t that what the ROSE did exactly?” Ella asked, irritated by his thinly veiled distaste, and testing his temper now.
“And look what happened to us,” he replied, unscathed, as he passed between two trees and sauntered offinto the woods.
Ella found herself glaring, the only offensive strategy she was capable of for the time being. He had a point. Kay had very little experience with combat, and her health only felt like it was declining as the night went on.
She felt cold and sick, and despite her exhaustion, was unsure if the pain in her arm would let her sleep. She couldn’t let either of them see how vulnerable she was.
Kay returned after a while to their silence and without more conversation they settled in for the night. As Ella stared at the stars, the pain kept her mind racing as Kay fell asleep beside her.
Ella closed her eyes tightly, unable to tell if her questions even made sense in the wake of it all. She’d ask them again tomorrow, her mind drifting off to memories of the field of wildflowers behind Samual’s house. She could almost imagine standing in them.
Next her mind drifted to other fields. They were wheat fields, just as rich and just as familiar as the flowers, but she couldn’t recall where she’d seen them. She remembered vast farmland. She remembered harvests stretching far and wide beyond the horizon.
Hi.
Her eyes flew open and she sat up, stabbing pain driving through her arm and causing her to hiss through her teeth. She held her breath as she scanned the forest. The world was quiet. Her heart pounded.
There wasn’t anything there.
Jackson’s warnings had simply gotten into her head.