Chapter 21 New Life
NEW LIFE
CROW’S BLUE EYES narrowed on hers. “Ella,” he acknowledged in cold recognition. “How did you get here?”
“Put the gun down. We’ve been looking for you,” she demanded, reeling back her shock at his sudden appearance.
Crow inspected them both carefully, before lowering the gun. His brown hair had grown down to his shoulders “You know about the illusion?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, “you do too?” Jackson stood close to her back as if to reassure her that he was there for the conflict to come.
“It’s why I came here looking for answers,” Crow replied, putting the gun back into its holster on his utility belt.
He was still wearing some of the same gear he’d worn before the embolism.
“I haven’t been able to find my way back and was stranded after my injuries.
That thing–that…Strike, I wouldn’t have gotten away if it hadn’t eaten everyone that chased me into those ruins.
I watched it all burn from a cave up on the hills.
I wasn’t sure what I’d find down here. The last thing I was expecting was you. ”
Ella didn’t speak immediately, unsure what question she wanted to ask next. It had made sense for Crow to be here, if the Spirit of Death had in fact been a haven for criminals running from the law.
Crow seemed relieved to see her, but not because it was her, but because it was aid.
“You jumped through the embolism on purpose,” she confirmed, her exhausted body and mind trying to wrestle all of the events into a cohesive story.
“Yes,” he said, looking between her and Jackson questioningly. He didn’t step any closer to them despite putting his gun away, and it made Ella wonder what expression Jackson wore behind her.
Crow was stoic and calm. He always had been, but it felt out of place now, as if nothing had happened between them at all.
“You’re going back? You’re wanted there,” Ella continued, intentionally avoiding the subject she knew would trigger every dangerous emotion she had. Jackson allowed them to have their space as she stepped forward to engage Crow more deeply.
“Yeah, sure, but what are they really going to do to me? I know what they don’t,” Crow replied easily, “using their own terminology, I’m enlightened now. I won their game.”
Game. Ella could no longer restrain her anger. If she weren’t so exhausted already, she was convinced she would have leaped at him right then and there.
“You know what you did bringing us to the embolism. Alex is dead. I would have died. Jade almost–” Ella asked, rage building as Jackson reached for her arm.
“How do you know, Ella?” Crow shot back with surprising harshness. “Look, I didn’t even know anyone else was even real.”
“What do you mean? We were a family.” She urged forward again, stepping through the mud and ash and closer to the shelter of trees. She felt that Crow might dissolve behind them any second.
“No,” Crow said, “You needed a family, alright? I woke up all on my own.”
Ella withdrew and her anger curled in on itself in hurt. In that objection, Crow revealed more of his true feelings than perhaps she’d ever seen. The fog and forest and scorched mire were silent all around them. Crow and Jackson didn’t move around her.
“So that’s it then?” she asked in soft defeat. “All those years, we were just objects to you?”
“Not objects,” he replied, shaking his head. She heard the smallest suggestion of sympathy. There was no regret, no remorse, just a faint glimmer of tenderness. He seemed to hesitate then, and she wondered if he was thinking through their shared travels over the years.
“Just,” he began again, “it’s all just a game.
You can’t blame me for wanting to get ahead, alright?
There’s an inner circle in the Imperia, people who know the truth about the illusion and use it to get ahead, to be powerful, to be successful.
You should understand it better than anyone, Ella.
You knew what it was like to be at the bottom and not believe everything people at the top were feeding you. It’s why we respected each other.”
Respected each other? He used the words, but she felt nothing. This didn’t feel like respect at all.
Ella didn’t reply. He’d been pretending all along, assuming none of them were real. It couldn’t have always been that way.
“That monster ate the horses and most of the gear,” Crow said after a while, perhaps uncomfortable with the extended silence. “Do you know the way back?”
“I do,” Jackson said, and she was grateful. They both looked at him.
They wouldn’t call upon Lambspeak.
Lambspeak had helped her beyond their agreed upon favors, and she was concerned that the next time she saw him, he’d come to collect, whatever that meant.
“Let’s go,” Jackson said when neither of them spoke. “It’s best if we get out of here quickly and it’s a long way back.”
They lingered for a moment longer, Crow nodding before they followed him back to his cave for his rations and supplies.
Little was said among them. There was little to be said.
The journey back was long and quiet. Crow largely kept to himself and Ella couldn’t push herself to engage him.
The silence had been pervasive at first, until small, cold comments here and there created a bridge of tense communication.
Crow had become a stranger to her just as quickly as Jackson had become a trusted ally.
She spent most of her time with Jackson who continued to train her diligently on ways to stay grounded in the present and keep Lambspeak at bay.
Soon she began to resent Crow’s presence, knowing that had he not been there, the journey back might have even been a pleasant one with Jackson at her side.
Instead, she anticipated their return to the small, peaceful town, and knew that once she stepped foot in it, a new life was waiting for her.
When at last they arrived at the palace again, Paris became an emissary of that new life, standing at the palace door with guards to either side. She openly appraised the three of them.
Ella and Jackson were in the gear they’d left in, washed with river water but still worse for the wear.
Tears and scratches with small traces of oil and ash still marked their clothes and boots.
Ella had a long, frazzled braid over her shoulder.
Jackson had the beginnings of a rather scruffy beard and Crow, slightly more deliberate about his appearances, still couldn’t hide the heavy bags under his blue eyes, evidence of many sleepless nights.
He’d been restless during the journey, Ella imagining that he thought she or Jackson might attempt to kill him.
She’d made no attempts to reassure him. Right now, she still hoped he believed that for the rest of his life, the price to pay, perhaps, for a mind constantly embroiled in the game of power.
It was clear that Paris had caught wind of them arriving in the city, waiting patiently at the palace door when they’d arrived.
“So,” she raised an eyebrow, as if unsure where she should start. “It seems you found more than the valley of Death.” A discerning eye moved to Crow as if sensing the coolness between them. “I suspect I already know your name,” she said.
“Aldis,” Crow replied, “Aldis Crow.”
Paris nodded slowly, “Brave of you to come here. I imagine we will be seeing you back to The Ocean."
“Yes. When convenient,” Crow replied and Ella and Jackson exchanged glances.
She knew that’s what Crow wanted, and based on Paris’s tone, she wasn’t intent on keeping him around long. Ella wondered briefly if Paris’s distaste extended beyond Crow’s use of the embolism.
“Or inconvenient,” Paris replied, making her distaste known. She gestured to the guards and one stepped down and gestured for Crow to follow him into the palace.
Crow looked back at Ella and Jackson before walking back into the palace.
“Thank you,” he said, and despite its apparent honesty, Ella could offer little but silence.
His icy blue eyes held hers for a moment in the silence and she swallowed back a tight feeling in her throat.
It was hard to resist thinking about the missions of the past. Despite Crow’s denial of it all, she couldn’t help but feel that the reality of their team’s bond made itself known in the silence.
“You deserve a life here, Ella,” Crow said, a voice rarely anything but calculated showing the smallest indications of warmth.
“You look at me like I’ve changed so much,” he said, “but I’ve always been the same.
And believe it or not, there is a version of you, from years ago, that would have understood every step that led me here. ”
Her brows furrowed at the comment, but he didn’t wait for her to respond, turning as he followed the guard into the palace and back to the pool that would take him to the other side.
Jackson and Paris waited to speak in the ensuing silence, Ella glancing down at her feet. Crow had the audacity to point out that she’d been the one to change. Was there a chance that he was right?
“Ella, Jackson,” Paris said, stepping down from the steps of the palace, “follow me.” She walked between them, both Ella and Jackson turning to follow as she led them back into the town. “Tell me what happened,” she said calmly ahead of them.
Jackson and Ella exchanged glances again and by the time they explained everything, Paris had stopped in front of a small cottage.
“But even now I still don’t remember what happened to Peter at the Burning of the Strike,” Ella said.
Paris nodded but didn’t seem disappointed. “With time,” she replied simply, her ringed fingers folded in front of her. The silence drew out. Paris’s long, light purple gown shimmered with a soft breeze. “Well?” she asked.
Jackson and Ella exchanged glances again, almost out of habit now after several weeks of traveling with Crow in their midsts.
Paris gestured to the house next to them.
Ella inspected the small cottage for clues.
It was similar to the surrounding houses with a small cobblestone path, reddened clay shingles, and a cream exterior with an array of potted plants and flowers.
The faint smell of burning wood drifted through the air, Ella recognizing a small fire burning in the exterior to prepare hot water.
Ella couldn’t for the life of her figure out what Paris was suggesting.
“It’s great,” Jackson said.
“I thought you’d like it,” Paris remarked with a soft smile. “Now, get washed up and change. Samual, Angelina, and a couple other divers have been waiting for both of you to return. I’ll debrief them on your journey.”
Paris began to walk off and Ella followed with her eyes as the idea registered. Paris had mentioned they would prepare one of the houses for her as they often did with those who’d surfaced from The Ocean.
“Just one?” she asked, glancing at the houses nearby which had been built in preparation but clearly not prepared for anyone to live in.
Paris waved a hand back. “We can have another prepared in five to six months if needed.”
Ella started to look at Jackson, “it only took weeks to prepare this one. What–”
She stopped when she noticed Jackson already walking into the house. She walked after him.
“You’re okay w–”
She stopped. Of course he was.
She paused when she saw the smile on his face, inspecting the interior and intentionally avoiding her eyes as he ran calloused hands over the kitchen counters, the walls of a cozy living room, the doorframe of a bed and bathroom.
He circled back to her, not meeting her eyes until he stood right in front of her. His smile was somewhat mischievous.
“You didn’t ask for this, did you?” Ella accused, eyes narrowing.
He laughed, shaking his head, clearly seeing humor in the predicament. “Nope.”
“Then why would they?” Ella said.
Jackson moved his hands into his pockets and looked around curiously before glancing back down at her.
“This doesn’t bother you?”
He shrugged, still smiling.
“Really?” she asked.
“I’ll sleep back at the palace,” he said. “I can’t guarantee I’ll want to live in this town anyway.”
Somehow, that bothered her more. She scratched her head as she looked around, “Well, let’s not rush to make any decisions.”
He looked at her as if he could read her reluctant attachments, and leaned forward as he shut the door behind her.
She mirrored his smile as she circled her arms around his head. “You’re getting a room back at the palace.”
“Absolutely,” he said, and kissed her.
She broke the kiss, eyes still closed as she said, “I am going to put in a request for you to have a separate house.”
He nodded with a grunt of agreement, and she heard the lock click behind her, causing her to bite down a broader smile.
“Please do,” he said, voice low as he backed her against the door and kissed her.
His lips caught her smile and she reached for his face as she relaxed in his arms, embracing at last in long awaited solitude. Ella paused after a few minutes, her breath mingled with his as she said, “We have to get ready for visitors in the palace.”
“Absolutely,” he agreed again.
She laughed, sensing the absence of any real intention in his agreement. “I mean it!”
“Absolutely,” he said, guiding her deeper into the cottage.
They didn’t leave for the rest of the day.