Chapter Twenty-Three
My mind replayed the condemning event dozens, perhaps hundreds of times during the three-hour flight back to the Argentum. Why hadn’t I known it was all in my head? The Damson God was a figment of my imagination. He’d messed with my dreams. Now, he’d ruined my life.
They would charge me with attempted murder. Everyone saw me pointing my gun at Marla. No defence I offered would excuse my actions.
Gods, what if I’d pulled the trigger?
My life was over. My hope to love and be with Torz was gone.
I’d end up in Pura Prison, living out my days wondering how long I had left before they executed me in some hideous way.
Gods, if Zuli won the manifesto vote, I’d probably be one of the first she’d feed to Quoram.
Without the accepted Damson bond, I was as vulnerable as the rest.
I looked up at Saul sitting across from me.
He’d barely said three words since we departed Titus, and he was still avoiding my gaze.
We were the only two passengers aboard the small military jet, and his silence was suffocating, confirming his thoughts on what had happened—what I’d done.
I guessed he was compelled to escort me back to Delta Ring as Torz had stated.
But in those moments, I wasn’t his friend or colleague.
I was his detainee, and it was in both our best interests not to compromise the situation with his questions or opinions.
Before we’d entered the jet, he removed all my daggers and guns hidden on my body, plus my comms. I didn’t argue.
The sane half of me knew the other half was teetering on delusion.
But surprisingly, he broke protocol and left my wrists unbound.
And when we arrived on the Argentum’s Delta Ring, confusion alerted me as he led me to my apartment, rather than the detention block on Level Two.
Regardless of the softer touches to my arrest, a cold numbness settled over me by the time Saul had swept my living space for weapons. He even confiscated the kitchen scissors and carving knife in case I decided to utilise them.
My front door was now locked and guarded from the outside. I hadn’t argued with that either.
Alone, I stood at the inwardly curved window in the same way I did in my dreams, watching the beautiful silver-and-purple world rotating below. But this wasn’t a dream. I knew the Damson God wouldn’t appear. And I didn’t want him to.
Emotional fatigue swamped me, making my vision cloudy and my limbs heavy, but I couldn’t sleep—too afraid the meddling god would show up. And when exhaustion turned to despair, the looming tears I’d repressed for days still refused to break free.
After two hours of torturous solitude, a gnarling knot twisted in the pit of my stomach, and I knew Torz had returned to the Argentum.
Anger, grief, apprehension—they relentlessly poured into me.
That’s when each dreaded thought slashed forward, every anxious nerve heightened, sending me into a spiralling state of panic.
Gods, what does he think of me? First the Q relapse; now this.
Biting my nails, I waited nervously for what felt like another two hours. But when the mechanical lock clicked and I whirled toward the entrance, I was still unprepared for what was to follow.
As the door hissed open, my heart clattered about like a piece of broken glass inside an empty jar.
Torz slipped into my apartment, not meeting my gaze until he’d closed and secured the sliding panel behind him.
He still wore his dress uniform, although now jacketless with his grey tie loose and black shirt sleeves rolled up, exposing the wrist support around his left forearm.
With his hands in his pockets, and scowling at me with scrutiny, his quiet rumble carried an anguished heaviness. “What’s going on with you, Rems?”
I found no words to justify a response and simply stared at him, hoping—praying—he’d understand, that my behaviour earlier wasn’t how it looked; that I wasn’t losing my mind. A moment of prolonged silence stretched between us, tightening with each second.
“Talk to me!” he snapped, his voice bellowing around the room in a tone that both startled and frightened me.
“What were you thinking? You showed me and Delta Ring up in front of the entire government body! Tarnished our team’s name.
They all now assume it was you who sent Marla Hyde death threats.
So you need to tell me what the hell you were doing. Is it true?”
“No!” Tears lingered at the back of my eyes, battling against the anger and disappointment streaming through our bond. “I know what it looks like, but I…I was trying to protect Marla. For your sake.”
“By aiming your gun at her head?” His eyes flashed with outrage.
“No, I was…I was aiming at the man who was aiming his gun at her! Torz, please…please believe me!”
He paused, his expression shifting to one of alarm...or was it understanding? “What man?”
“He was tall with long silver hair. He was standing right in front of me.” As the words left my mouth, the absurdity of them hit home. But I was adamant the Damson God had been in that function room and preparing to kill the woman Torz was blackmailed to protect.
Torz fell silent, and his wide-eyed expression ignited a tiny beacon of hope within me.
“He was there, Torz. I’m not making this up.” Pushing my palms into my eyes, I groaned. “I’m not going mad.”
Warm fingers gently pried my hands from my face, and I found Torz standing before me, his countenance softened to a troubled frown.
“That man,” he whispered. “Did he have unnaturally purple eyes?”
“Yes.” Yes!
He cursed. “I may have…I may have seen him, too. Moments before you appeared at Marla’s table.”
Stunned, my gasp stuck in my throat, questioning if I’d heard him correctly. I searched his face for a semblance of understanding, but mentally froze when he eventually said, “That man invades my dreams. He’s a figment of my imagination.”
“Your dreams?” My body surged with a mixture of delight and apprehension. “He visits mine, too.”
“He’s not real, Rems.” Torz took two steps back, his gaze turning dark and haunting.
“And it doesn’t matter if some mythical god is messing with both our heads; we need to face facts.
You committed an indictable offence. You were on the cusp of murdering someone.
And not just anyone—a government official. ”
“I wasn’t going to kill her!”
“I don’t think the court judges will see it that way.”
My head pounded. Hell, my life was over. My career, my home, gone. They would be ripped from me, along with Torz.
“The admiral and Zuli have offered you two options.” Torz raked his fingers through his hair, his mannerism shifting to the brink of awkwardness.
“The first is to stand trial, to which you will be found guilty of attempted murder. Because, believe it or not, no one else saw the silver-haired assassin.”
“You did,” I murmured.
“They won’t take my word. I’m not impartial enough. And for God’s sake, he isn’t real!”
I huffed, scowling down at my feet. “And the second option?”
Torz’s hesitation had me glancing up. He appeared nervous—I sensed it, too. My frown deepened as he swallowed back those nerves, darting his gaze out the window.
“I think you should take the second option.”
“Which is?”
“They’ve…they’ve generously offered you a clean slate…if you. If we…rekindle our Damson bond. Accept it and agree to live on Quoram.”
Time froze. Ice flooded my veins and air ceased inside my lungs. “That’s not possible, Torz. Our bond was rejected.”
He sighed. “Believe me, Rems, it’s possible.”
What? The Damson God would’ve said something if that was an easy feat, surely.
No, wait. Had he suggested such a thing within his annoyingly cryptic comments?
I shook my head. Regardless of whether the Damson magic could or could not be reignited, I wouldn’t do that to Torz. This was my fault, not his. He had done everything in his power to keep everyone safe, including me, and I’d shattered that protection in a matter of delusional minutes.
“No. No, I’m not doing that.”
“Rems,” Torz groaned, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “Consider this rationally.”
“No. I can’t condemn you to that.”
“Condemn me?”
“Yes!” I raised my voice, adamant he needed to consider this rationally, not me.
“You’ve built a life for yourself here. The people respect your leadership.
You have prospects, goals. And you…you’re meant for bigger, better things.
You don’t want to leave all of that behind to live a simple life with me.
This is my mistake. It has nothing to do with you. ”
“How can you say that?” Anger flared in his cheeks. “Both of us saw that man, so we’re in this together. We’ve always been in this together—”
“You didn’t tell me to do what I did.”
“Rems—”
“I won’t force this on you. The Damson bond, it’s…it’s not something you want!”
“Isn’t it?”
We stared at each other, his words echoing between us like an enchanting song. A tangible silence fell upon the room, and my heart thundered inside my chest, petrified of what he meant.
“You’re the one who rejected the bond, Rems, not me.”
I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until my lungs began to burn. With his speckled brown eyes probing deep into mine, I saw an open vulnerability I’d never witnessed before.
“No, you…you rejected it, too.”
“I didn’t. You were so freaked out; I gave my opinion off the back of yours. I wasn’t going to push it. You were scared and confused and…perhaps a little irrational—”
“I was seventeen!” I snapped, remembering how daunting the discovery had been, how terrified I was to make a life-changing decision at such a young age with a broken heart.
“And I understood that. I understood you’d just lost your mum, and I could never replace her love.
” Torz shook his head. “You were so convinced it wasn’t what we needed, that the magic was mistaken; I walked away, burying myself in work as a distraction.
Though”—he chuckled—“fate had its way, and you ended up by my side as my lieutenant. I didn’t mind.
If anything, it eased my suffering to have you near. ”
“Suffering?” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “What suffering? I’ve never seen…you have friends. You’ve had multiple lovers—”
“But they weren’t you! I’ve tried to move on. Tried to build relationships elsewhere, but they never worked, Rems. I didn’t want them. I’ve always wanted you.”
As I stared motionless, failing to comprehend his words, he began tugging at his wrist support.
“If you don’t believe me, maybe this will convince you!
” Abruptly, he wrenched the stiff fabric free from his palm, and there, just above the vein cluster of his left wrist, pulsed a swirling void of glowing purple magic.
“It’s been eating away at me for years, slowly growing.
It’s become unbearable over the past few months, constantly reaching for you. ”
As if the magic called to me, my right wrist tingled, then throbbed. It was the same area that had been nagging me for weeks, perhaps months.
With shaky fingers, I rolled up my sleeve, gasping at the tiny pool of silver light oscillating beneath the skin.
“Rems…” Torz stepped forward, his voice softening to a more tender tone. “If the idea of accepting the bond and living the rest of your days with me on Quoram is worse than being outcast to Pura with a termination date stamped on your forehead, just say the words and I’ll leave.”
“Torz.” Trying to suppress the trembling in my bones, I nervously reached for him. “I never imagined…I don’t want you doing this because you feel you need to protect me.”
He motioned to his wrist again. “Does this look like I’m being forced?”
I shook my head, my eyes glistening with the tears that had previously refused to fall. “Damn it, Torz, there’s nothing…there’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Gods, I can’t live without you. You’re my fucking world.”
The flash of hope jolting across our bond brightened the dark quandaries of his mind, and he gingerly closed the distance between us.
His left hand reached for my right, turning his palm outwards and placing it flush against mine.
An empowering spark zapped on contact, disbursing any last dregs of doubt.
The purple light from Torz’s arm spiralled towards the silver pulsing beneath my skin.
I moaned as silvery sparks ripped free, encircling, connecting with its purple twin.
Together, they swirled up our arms, encasing our bodies, lighting the dim room with wisps and flurries of dancing particles.
Lifting his free hand, Torz cupped my jaw, his heated gaze clashing with mine. “I want this, Rems.” He brushed his lips against mine. “I love you. I always have.”
The longing inside me surged as he took my mouth, caressing, teasing, owning it with a fierce gentleness.
My fingers trailed over his broad shoulders, savouring the physical feel of him.
The weight of my body lifted, and my mind fell into contentment.
All my cares evaporated—the worry, the dread, the jealousy—it all melted away, freeing my sanity from the mental chains it had been buried under.
This was what I wanted, what I needed. I’d lived so long without the bond, deprived myself of it.
I had only been half alive. We were two halves of a beating heart.
Without the other, we didn’t work, we couldn’t thrive.
But now, everything fitted, everything connected.
I was complete. He was my Damson, and I now understood why the bond was so compelling, so important.
“Torz—”
He kissed away my words, and I laughed on a breath. Smiling against my lips, he hummed his amusement.
“Are we really doing this?” I managed to ask.
“Say the words, and we’re on the next transport.”
My heart fluttered as I searched his beautiful, dark eyes. “Okay.” I smiled bashfully. “We’re doing this, Torz Benoit. I want to walk on Quoram’s surface with you. I want to live the rest of my days with you by my side.”
Torz lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. “It’s about time. I’ve been waiting nine damn years.” He kissed me again. This time harder, deeper, more passionate, confirming how long he’d been holding his desire at bay.
“Next transport is at seven this morning,” he said against my lips.
“We should pack.”
“We should.” He nuzzled my neck, breathing me in. “But I can think of something else we could fill the hours with.” He walked us to my sofa, and the boyish mischief I hadn’t seen since he was a teenager danced in his eyes.
“You know what…” I nibbled his earlobe and whispered, “I can think of several.” I glanced at my dining table, memories of my dream flooding my mind with wanton desire. He followed my line of sight and smirked. “Did you have that same dream?”
My jaw dropped before I smiled back at him. “It appears the Damson God has been busy scheming.”
Torz laughed. “He sure has.”