Chapter 30
JESSICA
I’m feeling all kinds of conflicted when I return to the ballroom after my confrontation with Luke.
I knew I probably would see him today, but I didn’t really expect him to come after me.
Sadly, nothing seems to have changed.
Even though I can tell he’s been feeling as awful as I have, with dark circles under his eyes and even a little more hollow cheeks, he still doesn’t want to fight for me, for us.
I just don’t get it.
Everything felt so right between us, then suddenly he decides we’re done.
Just like that.
A small glimmer of hope appeared when he chased after me in that corridor, hoping he was coming to make things right again, to make us right again.
But then he crushed me all over again, making it clear that even if he feels just as awful as I do, he’s made up his mind.
It feels like the wound has been ripped open again, although it never really closed and probably won’t for a while.
I’m grateful for the small break we have before the first European leg of the F1 season.
I’ve booked my flight home and will travel after my meeting with Anne on Monday.
We will discuss the progress of the internship so far and what lies ahead.
We reach the part of the evening when all the motorsport legends are honoured on stage.
I zone out and try to think of an excuse I can make to get out of this and go home to my bed.
I started this evening full of fire, feeling beautiful and confident.
My run-in with Luke sent me right back into the hollow shell, and I don’t want to continue socializing more than I have to.
Just as I’m about to make my escape, Lily approaches me, looking gorgeous as always. The dress we chose fits her perfectly. The light blue complements her blonde hair and hazel eyes. It accentuates her in all the right places, making her look like an entirely grown woman.
She’s been turning heads all evening, but I know she’s aiming to catch the attention of one specific man.
I haven’t met Sebastian, and I probably won’t now that everything is over between Luke and me.
Still, I want to be a good friend to Lily and hope she finds more success in love than I have.
“So? Has the man of your dreams noticed you yet?” I ask her, and she rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, he noticed me, but it wasn’t enough for him to do anything about it. I think he’s afraid that Luke will flip out.” I ask her what happened, and she tells me that Sebastian was taken aback when he saw her, and just as he was trying to say something to her, Luke walked up and ruined the mood.
“Give him time. When he finally grows some balls, he’s going to be all over you, how can he not?” I tell her, and we spend some time talking before both of us decide to call it a day.
◆◆◆
Monday morning, I’m sitting in Anne’s office, ready for our meeting about my internship.
We spend the first few minutes talking about how everything has been for me.
“It’s honestly been like a dream come true.
Seeing all the action and being included in the process, even more so when several from the team were down bad with food poisoning.
” Anne chuckles at that, and I tell her that I’ve learned a lot and can’t wait to continue the adventure over the next few months.
The internship has been everything I dreamed of and more.
“There is actually something I wanted to discuss with you,” Anne says, and I immediately feel on edge, anxious, like I’ve done something wrong.
“Nothing bad, quite the opposite. Your work on our social media platforms is doing so well, Jessica. And we see that the other media outlets are starting to follow in our footsteps, your footsteps,” She tells me with pride on her face and a kind smile.
We are experiencing great success on social media, and although it would never have been possible without the rest of the team, this aspect has been my own little project. I’m proud of myself for pushing through and creating something for Star News.
“We would like to offer you a full-time job after you finish your internship. The job would be similar to what you’re doing now, but you would also be responsible for our social media.
Based on the growth you’ve achieved so far, it’s only a matter of time before someone else offers you a position, so we’d like to give you a job offer to consider. ”
I’m speechless.
Every journalism student’s dream is to land a job through their internship, but we also know that the industry can be tough, especially in sports, and even more so in a male-dominated sport like F1.
Landing this internship was a step on the way to having my breakthrough in F1-media, but I never would have dreamed that it would happen so soon.
Working full-time with Star News would be a fantastic opportunity.
“I’m honoured, Anne. Working with Star News has been an invaluable learning experience, and I’m truly grateful for your trust in me. I promise I won’t let you down,” I tell her, and she hands over an envelope to evaluate.
We spend some more time talking about this weekend and the gala when something Anne says catches my attention.
“Yeah, Harold was a little overwhelmed with the whole thing, but it’s a beautiful thing to see your husband honoured for the role he’s played in the sport we’re both passionate about.”
It takes me about two seconds to catch on.
Anne is married to Harold Grier, one of the motorsport legends who were honoured during this weekend’s gala.
How I never made that connection is beyond me, seeing as they share the same surname and Anne was by his arm all evening.
It also raises my questions about dating a driver, and I see my opening as asking her how they met.
“Oh, it was quite romantic. I was just getting started in media, kind of like you, actually, and he was an up-and-coming driver trying to get into one of the top teams in Formula 1. The paper I was working with at the time had chosen a few drivers to write a detailed story about their road to F1 and all their dreams and goals.” Anne gets a dreamy look on her face, and I can tell she’s just as in love with her man as she was back then.
“I was young and clearly smitten with him. I was assigned to work on his story, and he made it his mission to make me his girlfriend by the end of it.”
We both chuckle at Harold’s determination, sportsmen, and their need to conquer the next challenge.
“Well, it’s safe to say that he succeeded and we’ve been inseparable ever since,” she finishes, and I sigh at the beautiful story.
“It sounds rather lovely, Anne. Hopefully, I’ll find the same kind of love someday,” I tell her, and she looks at me with a glimmer in her eyes.
“You’re young, Jessica. You should enjoy your youth and beauty. I’ve certainly noticed that you’ve gotten the attention of several of the drivers in the paddock.” She winks at me, and I blush.
“Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t want to do anything against the rules, I’m here to do my job.” Anne rolls her eyes at that.
“Don’t let any sexist idiots tell you that you can’t enjoy a little male attention. You’re doing an amazing job, and if any of those thick-headed men driving around notice not only your beauty but also your brains, I wouldn’t let any doubts stand in my way. If I’d done that, I’d never have Harold.”
Part of me has a feeling that Anne knows more than she lets on, but I’m happy to play along and get some answers.
“Anyone give you a hard time about dating a driver?” I ask her and hold my breath, waiting for her reply.
“Oh yes, dear. A lot of people had lots of opinions about us, but we were willing to fight a little, and soon enough, everyone went on with their own lives,” she tells me.
Before Luke broke up with me, I had decided I was willing to make our relationship public, consequences be damned.
I cared, still care, so much about him that I believed no matter what, I had to give us a chance. Before I could even tell him this, he broke my heart.
Still, it feels good to know that even if I got together with a driver or anyone in the circus of F1, no one could really do anything about it.
When I was with Luke, I checked my contract to confirm, and it stated nothing about it, but it still feels good to have Anne’s assurance, even if it came a little late.
I decide to try to do as Anne tells me and enjoy it if I get a little male attention, even if it’s not from the man I want. You only live once, and all that.
We spend some more time talking about the upcoming races and what to expect before saying our goodbyes, and I head for the airport.
◆◆◆
When I land in Chicago, Sarah waits for me in the arrivals hall, and I rush over to hug her.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I tell her, and she smiles at me.
“Tell me about it. FaceTime just isn’t the same.” We’ve been trying to FaceTime whenever we can, but with time differences and our schedules, it can be days, sometimes over a week, between our chats.
We head out of the airport and to her car before driving straight to the nearest junk food place to get some food in our system.
The trip from Australia was long and tiring, but I still feel energized because I get to see my best friend and family.
Coming back home feels good.
We’re catching up on our internships, but when we’re all done with our food, Sarah turns to me with a serious expression.
“Okay, so now that all the school and work stuff is out of the way, spill what’s happened between you and Luke.”
Even though she has her strict tone on, I can feel her emphatic expression on my face, and I sigh.
I start telling her about the amazing time we spent together, exploring new cities and getting to know his sister.
Then I tell her about the breakup, how he shut me out, and the following heartache I’ve been going through. I finish by telling her about the gala, our talk and the devastating feeling of loss when I realized he hadn’t changed his mind.
I can tell Sarah is eager to ask questions, but she waits for me to finish and get it all off my chest.