Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
“Do you understand what we must do?” Edward asked Celestine. He sat across from her in the carriage, so close that their knees gently touched. “I can go through it again, if needed.”
“No, it is fine,” she responded. “Perfectly simple and straightforward.”
“So, no notes?” he followed up. “No objections?”
“Ought I have?” she asked with a raised eyebrow as if in question. “It is almost as if you lack confidence in this idea of yours.”
“Me, lack confidence?” Edward chuckled. “Never. I just know you well enough by now that I expected some sort of pushback. A comment or two. An argument made for the sake of an argument.”
“Clearly, you do not know me nearly so well,” she said, keeping that eyebrow raised on him. There was a smirk on her lips too, one that was playful.
“Apparently not,” Edward said with a smirk to match. “Alas, and time has since run out for me to learn. However will I survive?”
“Oh, I am certain you will manage somehow,” she said with a deep sigh as if the thought upset her. “Finally, you will be free to go back to your old ways. Seducing poor and unsuspecting women only to spurn them at the first instant. How you must have missed it.”
The comment was made in jest, and Edward knew by now that Celestine did not believe such things of him. Still, it stung to hear, and he had to force himself not to wince with shame or disappointment that she would say such things. Even if it was only a joke.
“I might not know you, but you clearly know me,” he said with a forced grin as if he agreed with her. “It has been too long…”
She must have known that he was joking, as she was. But his words did not land with as much humor as he wanted, and Celestine flinched slightly and squirmed as if suddenly uncomfortable. Then, she looked away, and if Edward did not miss his guess, he would have said that she was upset.
Should I say something else? Make her understand that I was joking?
There was no point in doing so, and every reason to not do such a thing.
Edward was not supposed to care about Celestine, her feelings, or her opinion of him.
Just as she was not meant to care about him either.
And while it was easy to say that this was the current state of things, even a man who was blind and deaf would surely have felt the tension between them, just as he would have known without having to ask what it meant.
Edward looked at Celestine. He felt the urge to reach across the carriage for her in comfort. His hand shook as he forced it to remain on his lap, and then he looked away as she was doing, content to pretend that this was a night to look forward to, and not one to bring dread.
A shame then that dread is all I feel…
It was to be their last night together. Before this evening, neither Edward nor Celestine had discussed specifically when they would end their engagement, almost as if both were happy to leave it for the other, the false hope that doing so might see it not end…
but that was never an option, and I doubt Celestine would want such a thing.
However, following Edward’s moment with Celestine and her family two days ago, it became apparent that this engagement needed to end. And soon.
He never intended to enjoy Celestine’s company the way he was. He never desired to grow so close to her, a state of being where he looked forward to seeing her, and where he wanted their time together to continue. That was not the plan, and it was the very antithesis of who Edward was.
Thus, a decision had to be made, and it was far more difficult than he ever imagined.
“Here we are,” Celestine spoke softly, a sense of regret coloring her voice.
“Oh…” Edward looked through the window of the carriage, noting the theatre down the end of the road, and the crowds of fellow peers who had come that night to enjoy a pleasant evening. “Yes, we are.”
“I can’t believe it is almost over,” she said, a soft chuckle of disbelief. She glanced at him, a smile behind her eyes, and she looked away.
“You must feel relieved,” he said, but only because he thought that he must.
“So much,” she said a little too quickly. Another glance, that one hopeful, as if she thought he might argue with her. “And you?”
“I count the minutes,” he said as his stomach twisted with regret.
It wasn’t until they were in the carriage that Edward had announced his intent to end their engagement once the opera was finished. As he saw it, tonight was perfect for it, as there would be dozens of peers about; witnesses to see the implosion of their love.
An argument would do, loud and unruly, one that would confirm the fight to be Edward’s fault so that Celestine would be saved embarrassment.
However, she would not be left completely unscathed, and both agreed that following the end of their engagement, there would be few men willing to waste their time courting her.
She would be free from expectation as she wanted, just as Edward would be free from having to marry. A victory for both… even if it feels dreadfully hollow.
“Shall we?” Celestine said as the carriage came to a gentle stop and the door opened from the outside.
“Please, allow me…” Edward shuffled forward. As he did, his knees grazed Celestine and he felt a pulse ripple up his body at the merest touch.
That was the other difficulty from which Edward could not escape.
As he shuffled across the carriage, he allowed his gaze to drift over Celestine.
She wore a formal gown of dark blue, one with a scooping neckline, that was tight across her bodice, that pronounced her curves and the softness of her body in ways that he would have rather not noticed but couldn’t possibly ignore.
Her face too, those soft lips… their single kiss would haunt him for longer than he was proud to admit.
“What?” she asked when she noticed his eyes linger on her. “What are you…”
“Nothing.” He looked away quickly. “I just… you look beautiful in that gown, Celestine. I forgot to mention it earlier.”
Her cheeks blushed. “Why would you when there was no one around to hear it?”
“Some things should be said, regardless of the audience,” he said with a smile that spoke to his disappointment. “Just as some truths cannot be ignored.”
Her cheeks colored further and he saw how touched she was by his comment. Once, she might have accused him of teasing her, but she seemed to understand that they were past such things.
Edward climbed down from the carriage and offered Celestine his arm. She took it gratefully and he helped her onto the street. There were dozens of people about, all peers, and they noticed Edward and Celestine’s arrival. Not that Edward cared at all, and for once he wished that they were alone.
Tonight would be their last night together, and it did not feel nearly so triumphant as Edward might have liked.