Chapter 6
Six
The next day
Dinah heard the crunch of gravel on the drive and tossed her book on the side table. She picked up her skirts and ran to the entryway, almost running into Mr. Simpton, who was hurrying to open the front door.
“Pardon me, my lady,” said the older man, stepping back and smoothing his misplaced strands of gray. “You practically flew down the steps.”
“I hope you are all right,” she said, thankful she hadn’t knocked the poor man over. He was of her height and probably didn’t weigh as much as she did. “I was in such a hurry to greet Lady Hardingson.”
“Quite fine, my lady. And yourself?” he asked, opening the door.
“Good, very good,” she said over her shoulder as she practically skipped down the portico.
The carriage had just reached the end of the long drive, and she could see Jo hanging out the window, waving furiously.
When the two of them were out of the ton’s view, social proprieties were dashed out the window.
It took all of Dinah’s self-control not to blurt out her news when Jo jumped from the carriage and threw her arms around Di.
“You’ve been naughty,” scolded Jo with a grin. “How dare you write about a surprise. Of course I came early.”
“Remember, you’ll be the only one to know, so shush.” She watched the tiger climb on top of the coach to toss a trunk to the waiting footman. Then a second. And a third.
Jo laughed at her friend’s expression. “I’m going straight to Surrey after our visit, so I packed enough for the next few months. Don’t worry, I’m not moving in with you.”
“We wouldn’t mind a bit, and you know it.” Dinah slipped her arm through Jo’s and led her into the manor. “I’ll show you your room and then wait for you in the sitting room. Wait until you see the drawing room. It turned out splendid.”
“First, I must know the secret,” pleaded Jo.
Dinah shook her head. “Get settled first. I’ll have Mrs. Hokum make us tea.”
An hour later, the women sat in the drawing room instead of the sitting room. Once Jo had seen the transformation, she insisted they have tea there and “drink it in.” They began with the usual chitchat.
“I’m rested, and we’ve covered the polite conversation. Tell me,” whisper-shouted Jo.
Dinah had practiced what she would say, but the words vanished. “I’m with child.” She couldn’t help the smile spreading across her face.
Jo dashed from her chair with a loud squeal and wrapped Dinah in a tight hug. “Oh, Neel must be beside himself. I’ll soon be an aunt.”
“No!” she burst out, grabbing Jo’s shoulders. “I haven’t told him yet.”
Jo’s brown eyes narrowed, then understanding dawned. “You’re waiting until you know for sure. Mama said she didn’t tell anyone outside the family until she started to show.”
“It’s not that. I’m sure. It’s just our relationship has changed in the last couple of months. I feel we are so much closer, but he hasn’t yet said that he… loves me,” she finished lamely.
“Of course he has,” argued Jo. “He’s loved you since—oooh. Romantically.”
Dinah nodded. “I proposed, and I’m the one who insisted marrying a friend was better. I wanted to save the man I loved, but I didn’t want him to feel beholden to me.”
Jo gasped. “You’ve never told him you love him? In that way?”
“No. I foolishly thought things would just work out. I never found a way to broach the subject, though I was sure he could feel my love whenever we…” Heat crept up Dinah’s neck. “I can’t tell him about the baby when we’re so close.”
“You think he’ll say it because you’re pregnant?” Jo sighed. “My brother would never lie to you.”
“No, not on purpose.” Dinah stood and began pacing the room. “What if I tell him at Christmastide? That gives me time to find a way to profess my feelings and pray he returns the sentiment before he learns of the babe.”
Jo grimaced. “And I’m sworn to secrecy?”
“I’m not asking you to lie to him. It’s not the sort of thing he would ask you out of the blue. ‘By the way, has Di mentioned if she’s enceinte?’ Just don’t bring it up.”
“Or blurt it out the way you did.” Jo crossed her arms and began pacing beside Dinah. “I feel like we’re eight years old again. You told me he was your true love and made me swear never to tell a soul.”
“And you didn’t.” Dinah slapped her forehead. “Maybe you should have and I wouldn’t be in this predicament.”
“But Di, you must know how much he cares for you. He does love you and not in the same way he loves me.”
“Has he told you so?” asked Dinah, hearing the doubt and hope in her voice.
“Well, no. But I remember he told your father that he would marry you someday. And your papa laughed and said Cornelius was telling the wrong person.”
“Papa said that?” Dinah snorted and blinked back tears. “It sounds like him.”
“Did you ever consider he was waiting for you to say it first?” asked Jo, one pale brow raised.
“Why? Isn’t the man supposed to proclaim his love?”
“Well, he usually professes his feelings when he proposes. But you played that part,” reminded Jo. “Maybe he didn’t think you’d believe him since you presented marriage as a practical solution to a problem. Neel might worry any words of affection would sound hollow.”
Dinah hadn’t thought of that. “When we are together, er, as man and wife, I feel such a strong union with him. Or is it just the act that brings us close?”
“Well, it didn’t bring Horace and I closer. At least, not in my opinion. While it wasn’t painful—after the first time—it was never pleasurable.” Jo put out an arm to halt Dinah. “I believe there has to be genuine caring for the act to be enjoyable.”
I’ve seen glimpses of my sweet Di lately. I’ve longed for her return. If your purchase from the curiosity shop has brought her back to me, I’m happy.
“When I told Neel of my experiences with the quizzing glass, and how I’ve seen the world differently, he said his Di was coming back to him.
Have I been so awful?” She had tried to be a dutiful daughter and then a good friend.
But she and her mother were different people.
Behaving like her hadn’t turned out well for Dinah.
Jo shook her head and hugged her. “No, my sweet friend. You just haven’t been yourself, and we’ve missed that exuberant, laughing girl. It was as if becoming a woman sucked the life from you.”
Dinah’s mouth fell open. “That’s exactly how I’ve felt lately. Alive.”
“Good. I would hate for my brother to be married to a corpse,” Jo said with a straight face. Then both women began laughing. As soon as the guffaws died down, one of them would begin again.
Cornelius walked in to find them holding their stomachs, tears running down their cheeks. “You must let me in on the joke. I’m in need of a belly clutcher.”
“She f-feels alive,” Jo finally managed.
“So, you aren’t stuck with a corpse,” added Dinah.
The look of horror sent both girls into peals of laughter again.
Over the next two weeks, Jo and Dinah made numerous plans. They chose rooms for the nursery and discussed furnishings and colors. The baby would arrive early summer, so Dinah would need the local seamstress to let out a few of her gowns.
“What about a nursemaid?” asked Jo. “Once Cornelius knows, would you like Mama and I to inquire.”
“He will most likely want someone local. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about another woman taking care of our baby.” Dinah remembered her father being with her daily. Her mother had rarely visited the nursery, preferring for Dinah to be brought to her.
“She will work for you. So, you will set the schedule and decide how much time to spend with your child. But someone should watch over the babe at night, which is why we chose the connecting room.” Jo tapped her bottom lip as she thought. “You could learn so much from a woman with experience.”
Dinah hadn’t thought of that. She would want some of her nights free to be with Neel, and neither of them had an inkling of how to take care of an infant. “I shall discuss it with Cornelius next month.”
“You haven’t changed your mind?”
“Not unless he proclaims his love before then. Otherwise, he’ll find out at Christmastide.”