Chapter 11
Eleven
Neel forced back the panic threatening to consume him.
She wasn’t moving. He put his head to her chest, checked her pulse, and breathed out a ragged sigh of relief.
She was alive. His hand inspected her head.
There was only a small amount of blood on his glove when he checked, but a large goose egg was forming below her crown.
Fortunately, they were close to the edge of the ice, so he pulled her to the grass, ripped off his skates, and scooped her into his arms.
He hesitated to put her in the coach, not wanting to leave her.
But the bloody carriage couldn’t drive itself.
With Di safely inside, he climbed up onto the driver’s seat and cracked the whip.
While he wanted to go full speed, he didn’t know the extent of Dinah’s injuries and didn’t want her bumping around overmuch.
Why had he agreed to the ridiculous game? They weren’t children anymore. Why had she worn the mantle instead of a short spencer? Why hadn’t he caught her before she hit the ground?
Why and what if doesn’t change the past, his mother had always said. No, it had been an accident. A person could go mad trying to second guess a situation like this. He pulled up to the front of the manor, and Mr. George had the door open before Neel could put down the reins.
“Send for the physician,” he yelled. “Her ladyship had an accident and is unconscious.”
“Yes, my lord,” said the butler, turning to yell instructions to the staff inside.
Cornelius jumped from the seat and threw open the door of the carriage. No signs of movement yet. He took the stairs two at a time, and Mrs. Hokum appeared behind him. She opened the door to Dinah’s bedchamber and went straight to the four-poster bed, pulling back the curtains and the counterpane.
“Let me get her undressed, my lord. Hot water and cloth for bandages are on the way.” The housekeeper gently pushed him away and began tending her mistress.
The authority in her voice soothed him. His head dropped, and he saw his hands were shaking. “I can’t lose her. I can’t.”
“No one is going anywhere, my lord,” she said with certainty. “Why don’t you sit and rest for a moment. Perhaps say a prayer.”
“Yes, yes,” he mumbled, wondering if he could even remember the words to a prayer right now. His mind was jumbled with images of Dinah. Happy, angry, testy, full of desire. “She is my world, Mrs. Hokum.”
“And that won’t change, Lord Cornelius.” The housekeeper quickly had Dinah out of her clothes and down to her shift, pulling the counterpane over her.
A maid appeared with hot bricks for Di’s feet, and the hot water arrived. Mrs. Hokum inspected the back of Dinah’s head and tsked. She dipped a cloth in the water, parted Di’s hair, and dabbed at the angry knot. She shook her head at the spot of blood on the white cloth.
“It’s only a cut, my lord, but the bump is large. She is as comfortable as we can make her for now. Why don’t you bring your chair next to the bed. Hold her hand and talk to her quietly until the physician arrives.” The housekeeper and maid left the room.
Cornelius held her warmed fingers in both of his, leaning his forehead on their joined hands. “I love you, Di. I should have told you long ago, but if we get through this, I will tell you every day of our lives together.”
He kept vigil, cursing the old physician for living so far away. He had retired from his practice in London and lived in a small manor two villages over. Dinah tossed her head and began mumbling but nothing legible. When Dr. Broggin came through the door, Neel almost wept with joy.
Neel told the physician what happened and then waited in the hall while she was examined. He paced up and down the hall, making promises to the heavens and feeling totally helpless.
“Lord Cornelius,” Dr. Broggin said behind him.
Neel took in a deep breath and turned to find the man smiling. He let out the held air in a rush. “She will be fine.”
He nodded. “Yes, my lord. She woke briefly, which is very reassuring, but is sleeping comfortably again. Her main concern was for the babe, but I think the main force was to the head. All should be well. I am prescribing bed rest until we know for certain the babe is out of danger.”
“Oh, that’s a relief.” Neel swept a hand through his hair, then froze. “The b-babe?”
“Yes, she was worried she might lose the child, but I’ve assured her—”
Neel didn’t hear anymore. He pushed past the physician and rushed to his wife’s side. Her eyes were closed, and he’d never seen her more beautiful. More dear. He fell to his knees and wrapped his arms about her, laying his head against her belly. His child was inside her, its tiny heart beating.
Why hadn’t she told him?
Memories surfaced. The ride to the top of the hill when she’d spilled her accounts. Her wan complexion in the morning. The return of color to her cheeks in the afternoon. Her fuller figure he’d attributed to good food. Her happiness the past weeks.
Neel had hoped her joy came from realizing she loved him. But it had been about the babe. He swallowed, his mouth dry. His throat closed, and he fought back tears. So many emotions surged through him.
Relief. Dinah was fine.
Joy. They were to have a child.
Anger. Why hadn’t she told him?
Worry. Had he been wrong about her love for him?
Hope. All his dreams might come true.
Neel woke to find his wife stroking his hair. He was still on his knees, his head against her stomach. When he moved, a crick in his neck sent pain down his spine. His knees were stiff.
But Dinah was smiling weakly at him, and his heart squeezed.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I had such great plans for the afternoon.”
He tugged her hand to his cheek and kissed her palm. “What kind of plans?”
“I was going to tell you I love you and that we were going to have a baby.” She blinked back tears, her bottom lip trembling. “But I bungled it all.”
He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I had to learn from Dr. Broggin.”
“I was hoping you would profess your undying love for me first, so I knew it was sincere and not just because I’d conceived.
” She sniffed. “Jo told me I was wasting precious time, and I finally agreed with her. I was going to tell you at the pond while we were warming our feet and eating cold beef.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, chuckling. His chest tightened at the thought of her not knowing how he felt. “I was waiting for you to tell me. You had been so adamant about our friendship when you proposed our arrangement. I wanted to give you time to realize we were in love without rushing you.”
He kissed each finger of her hand. “I told Jo when I was fourteen that I would marry you one day. I made her swear to keep it a secret. I had plans to court you, then Father mucked it all up.”
“You love me?” she whispered.
“Always,” he said. “And you love me?”
“Always.” Tears darkened her violet eyes. “Two years have gone by because of our foolishness.”
“Nonsense. We’ve had two years to become accustomed to marriage, and we’ve been together.
That’s not wasted time.” He loosened his grip on her hand and sat down on his arse, rubbing his knees before he pulled off his boots.
Neel lay down beside her and gathered her in his arms. “I think I might explode with happiness.”
She nodded against his chest.
“When you came to me the other night, and we lay together with your back against me, I noticed a slight swell to your belly.” He snorted. “I thought it was because of our excellent cook.”
Di let out a soft snuffle. She had fallen asleep again. He closed his eyes, deciding it was a good idea. With a contented heart, he slept beside his wife, his love. His hand rested upon her stomach, protecting their child.
Two days later
“Out with it. I see there is something you want to tell me,” said Dinah, sipping her morning chocolate. She was already showing signs of boredom, wanting to get up but knowing it was best for the babe.
He grinned. “Now that we’ve declared our mutual love, I feel silly for not telling you this before. Remember the two investments we discussed the first month we were married?”
She nodded. “Yes, the consols were a safe investment with a guaranteed return. I can’t name the other right now. Why?”
“The other was a bit risky. It involved foreign state loans, but the promised yields were high.” He swallowed, then rushed on. “It was the same type of investment I’d made a few years before. But the first was a much heftier sum. And it ended up making a small fortune.”
“The earlier one?” she asked, taking another sip of her chocolate.
“Yes.” He told her the amount, and she gasped. “When did it come to fruition?”
“About six months after the wedding.” He let that sink in.
Her gaze locked with his. She blinked. “You wouldn’t have needed my dowry.”
He shook his head. “But I needed you, sweetheart.”
She nodded.
“I also confided to Jo, before my father’s debacle, that I planned to court and wed you. So when you came to me, offering a solution, I didn’t hesitate.” He took her hand. “It wasn’t the way I’d planned it, but it was what I’d always wanted.”
She gave him a watery smile. “Me too.”
“I was afraid you would think you had married me for nothing.”
“Not for nothing, Neel. For love. We must never keep secrets from each other again.” She wiped her cheeks dry. “I think this babe produces tears. I’ve never been one to cry so much.”
“As long as they are tears of happiness.”