Chapter 13
STONE
Idrive back from the stable, relieved that everything went smoothly with Prince and Unicorn. It’s also frankly a relief that those horses seem to have been named already. I’ve had so many animals go through this ranch that I’m running out of ideas.
I’m worried that something is wrong with Remy, though.
I don’t understand. Things were going so well. We were growing together, making progress, and I thought I was doing my best to learn what she needs.
Our date certainly went well. I felt like a king with Remy on my arm. But this morning our energy felt a bit…off.
I park the truck and go inside, hoping Remy isn't glued to her laptop. I respect a strong work ethic, I really do. But if this is supposed to be her vacation, she needs to rest. Especially if she's been working two full-time jobs at once for quite a while.
When I go inside, Remy is in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water. As I walk by her laptop on the dining room table, my eyes automatically glance at her screen.
It's as if a brick materializes in the pit of my stomach.
“Glad to see you getting a change of scenery by adjourning downstairs. How’s your work going?" I force myself to ask casually.
"Good." She hurries over to her laptop and snaps it shut. "I've gotten a lot done."
Staring up at the ceiling, I take a slow breath. "Baby, I didn't mean to look and see those bus schedules. You know how the human eye is – you see a screen lit up, you glance at it." Her head drops. "I feel we need to talk about this."
"Do we, though?" Her chin jerks up, her bottom lip trembling. "We both knew I would only be staying here for a week or two."
I reach out to casually stroke her hair, keeping my voice soft. "That was our assumption in the beginning, yes, but it felt to me like things were changing. What about you, beautiful?"
She hesitates, biting that luscious bottom lip. For the first time, I'm not aroused to see it.
"Remy, if there's anything you need, I want to get it for you. Or help you get it." Taking her hands, I try to catch her eye again, but her eyes are riveted to the center of my chest. "Or…stay the hell out of your way, if that's what you need."
She's still quiet.
"Talk to me, baby. Please. I just want to help."
"That's just it, though," she blurts, her fingers tensing in mine. "You want to help and fix and nurse everything back to health…"
She's still staring at my shirt.
"Keep talking. Please."
"You seem to think I'm going to abandon my goals and just move in with you. Just be your girl… I can’t be just another animal for you to shelter and heal.
I can't be a real partner if you see me as a broken bird.
Here you are getting me proper shoes like one of your horses, overfeeding me, making sure I get enough daylight and fresh air.
I'm not a project, Stone. I've had my life the way it is for a long time. I can't just change everything because maybe I kind of fit into the one hole you have in your otherwise perfect world. Don’t you see, I’ll only fit if I drop my entire life. "
Shit.
She tears her hands from mine, stepping back abruptly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please…please don't get mad."
Shit shit shit.
I’ll bet any money her father yelled at her mother, so she thinks this is how arguments work. Well, I'm going to have to show my sweet girl that I do things very differently.
I walk into the living room and get right down on the carpet by the fireplace. “Would you like to come sit with me, please?"
She looks completely confused but comes over to sit cross-legged in front of me.
"This way, I'm not towering over you," I explain. "Look, Remy… If you think I'm going to yell, or get angry, you're mistaken." My hand reaches out to massage her knee, anxious to keep some point of contact.
"My parents have been happily married for over fifty years. When they have a disagreement, they have a system. They sit down and just breathe together. Then they hug for a full minute. Then and only then do they talk it out. It's important to remember that we're on the same team here."
Remy finally meets my eyes. "How can we be on the same team if we want different things, though?"
"We want what's best for both of us. Right?" She nods. “Do you want to try my parents' system?" When she hesitates, I add, "Or I can drive you to the bus. I can drive you all the way home, if you like. I'm not holding you hostage, beautiful. You’re in charge here.”
After a long, awkward pause, Remy bursts into tears.
I pull her into my arms, stroking her back as we sit on the floor. "Let's do the silence and the hugging parts at the same time, okay? Let it out, baby. All of it."
She nods, her face buried in my shirt as she cries and cries. From the way she clutches me, I think I understand. She's overwhelmed. A new environment, a new schedule, a new person in her world. It's a lot all at once.
Good thing that I love this woman so much that I have all the patience in the world for us to figure it out.