Chapter 11 #2
“No pistol.” Her heart hammered, hard, as she looked up at him. As she tried not to hope what his presence meant.
“I fold,” he said.
“You...what?”
“I fold, Cricket. I’m done. I surrender to this, to you.
And you’re right. I was afraid. I was a coward.
A damn coward. Because I didn’t want to face the fact that I wasn’t really afraid of being my father, I was afraid of being my mother.
Sitting all bitter and hollow at my kitchen table and telling my teenage child I was only in a marriage for their sake.
That there was no love. No, the real thing I was afraid of was being the one who felt unloved.
Because I have to tell you, when my mom said all that to me, that’s how I felt.
Like a burden and an obligation that she should never have had to take on.
And I couldn’t stand being that for the rest of my life.
Not with you. But I love you, Cricket. And I’m willing to be that.
I’m willing to do anything if it means being with you, having you.
I’m willing to be an obligation, and to earn your love later.
I know you want to be free. I know you want to start a life, and I know that having a child right now, and settling down with me, doesn’t have much of anything to do with that.
But I think...this is fate. And far be it from me to go against her. ”
“Jackson,” she whispered, her heart expanding in her chest. “You’re not a burden to me.
I went to my sister’s house last night and I complained to her about how you rejected me.
And then they asked me if I told you that I loved you, and I realized that I hadn’t.
That was me protecting myself. I wanted to know what you felt, what you thought, before I put myself out there.
It was easy to talk about marriage, and so much harder to talk about my heart.
Because I’ve never done it. I’ve never seriously talked to anyone about how I felt.
Except for you. And I’ve done more of that over the past month than ever in my life.
Told you more about who I am, what hurt me, and what made me who I am.
The bottom line is, above all else, and with everything else shoved aside, I love you.
I have loved you for years. And I would want to be with you, pregnant or not.
It was just the thing that got me up the mountain.
It was just the thing that forced me to be as brave as I was, and even then, I wasn’t all that brave.
So I didn’t really have a right to yell at you. ”
“You had plenty of right.”
“Jackson,” she whispered. “I really, really love you. And I have never wanted much of anything in my whole life enough to fight for it. Except for you. Only you. I can’t imagine another person, another feeling, another anything that would ever be worth all this hassle.
You’re not an obligation. You’re my inevitability. ”
“Cricket Maxfield,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and looking at her, square in the eye.
“You’re the surprise I didn’t see coming.
Little Cricket, you’re the thing I’ve been missing.
I didn’t know the right place to look to fill the hole in my heart.
But you’ve known all along. You are wiser than me.
Smarter than me. Braver than me. And I am going to love you today, and every day after.
I don’t care if some days are hard. I don’t care if there are sleepless nights, or if I have to move out of my house and into your farmhouse.
Because nothing matters but you. And that’s...
My dad said to me, that obligation and love often go together, and I expect that he’s right.
Love is what makes you want to fulfill that obligation.
But this is different. Everything else feels like an obligation.
You feel like breathing. And that’s as deep as I can explain it. ”
“Is it in your blood?” she asked, her voice a whisper.
“Yes,” he responded. “It’s in my blood. My bones. My heart.”
“Mine too.”
And then he kissed her, and she couldn’t think anymore.
Couldn’t breathe. She could only feel. And somehow, she knew she felt the same thing he did.
Somehow, she knew that in this moment they were one.
And it wasn’t a pregnancy or marriage vows that would make it so.
They could never have parted even if they’d wanted to.
Because it was too late. The chips had already gone down. The game was over.
And in the end, they had both won.
Cricket Maxfield had won any number of specious prizes in her life.
And she had often felt uncertain about her place in the world.
But the biggest and best prize she’d ever won was loving Jackson Cooper and having him love her back.
And if all the years of feeling misfit and frizzy and gap-toothed and like she didn’t belong was what it had taken for her to get here, then she counted them all worth it.
She wouldn’t change a single thing, not about herself, not about anything. Because it had brought her here. To this man, to his arms.
And that was truly the greatest prize of all.
In Gold Valley, Oregon, lasting love is only a happily-ever-after away. Don’t miss any of Maisey Yates’s Gold Valley tales, available now!
Gold Valley Vineyards
Rancher’s Wild Secret
Claiming the Rancher’s Heir
The Rancher’s Wager
Gold Valley
A Tall, Dark Cowboy Christmas
Unbroken Cowboy
Cowboy to the Core
Untamed Cowboy
Smooth-Talking Cowboy
Cowboy Christmas Redemption