Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
LIGHT AND DARK
The coach sways as we head towards home.
I sit on the sofa, my knees pulled up to my chest. Michael is on the coach following ours, with the Raven guards, blood dancers, Varin and Bertrand.
He’s coming back with us because he’s my lieutenant.
And because I’m fairly sure his brothers will rip him apart if he goes back to them.
Apparently, it’s quite normal for lieutenants to live on the estate, something I never knew before.
‘Mistral didn’t live at the estate with us. And he was your lieutenant.’ Thank darkness he didn’t.
‘He did, actually,’ my mother says. ‘Until I met your father. Then he left and set up his own family.’ Her gaze dims briefly.
‘It’s how things are. Your lieutenant stays with you, as does your champion, until you take a consort.
Even then, they might still stay, if your consort doesn’t take on either role.
So, it’s appropriate Michael be on the estate.
He can live in the gatehouse. It’s where his father was, for a while. ’
‘He was?’ I frown.
‘When I met your father … it was complicated. Mistral moved in there initially, before leaving. I suppose he hoped…’ She shakes her head. ‘It doesn’t matter what he hoped. Anyway, the place is furnished, and we’ll make sure it’s all as it should be for Michael.’
‘So, he won’t be in the main house?’ This might not be a bad thing, to be honest.
‘Joaquin is staying in the main house.’ Along with his entourage. My parents invited him, in the wake of his declaration to court me. ‘He won’t stay the entire time, though,’ my mother continues. ‘He has things to do, he told me, before your coronation.’
Good. Hopefully it will give me the space I need to sort my mind out. We haven’t spoken since our argument in the snowfield, but I can’t escape spending time with Michael, now that he’s my lieutenant. I just need to make it clear there can be nothing else between us. That I’m with Joaquin.
I can do that.
I think.
* * *
The passage is as I remember. No cobwebs, I told Kyle, when he took me down it to what I thought would be freedom. Now I make my way carefully down crumbling stone steps, one hand on the wall for balance, the other holding my phone torch high to light the way.
I open the door at the bottom of the stairs, letting in bright daylight. No need for me to hide; no one can see me from the house, and I told Bertrand I’d be sleeping and not to disturb me.
I carefully tuck a piece of leather between the door and the wall.
I should be back before dark anyway, but I’m not taking any chances.
I run across the lawns, my breath puffing in the frosty air.
It feels good to be outside. The pale golden stone of the gatehouse’s little tower stands out against trees showing the first mist of green, light twinkling in the leaded glass windows. I bang the knocker twice, then wait.
The carved wooden door opens. ‘I wondered when you’d show up.’ The words are tight, Michael’s arms folded.
I blink. ‘We need to talk.’
He says nothing, moving to the side so I have to brush past him to enter.
We go into a living room with a high ceiling decorated with plaster roses.
There’s a bay window with a wide-cushioned seat, and a comfortable-looking sofa and chairs, all in shades of blue.
A fire burns in the huge fireplace, the room smelling of woodsmoke and lavender polish.
‘So, talk.’ Michael’s hands are on his hips. I try not to notice his long legs, the muscles under his long-sleeved top.
‘I need to make sure you know where you … where we stand.’
‘Oh? And where is that?’
‘You know what I mean! You’re my lieutenant, so we have to work together. But that’s all we can be.’ My hands twist together.
‘Work colleagues?’ He shakes his head, walking over to the window. ‘Fine. If that’s what you want to tell yourself.’
‘I’m with Joaquin now.’
‘Yeah. He seems like your type, tall, dark and bloodsucking.’
‘You have no idea what my type is!’ I snap the words out. How easily he rouses me to anger.
‘Funny. Because I thought it was me, for a while.’
‘You walked away, not me! I wanted you to come with me when I left.’
‘And here I am.’ He moves towards me, his arms wide. ‘So, is that it? Or do you have anything else you want to share?’
‘You’re impossible!’ I take in a breath and blow it out, because if I don’t, I’ll scream. ‘I’m trying my best to make this work.’
‘Make what work? I want you, E, and I’m not giving up so easily.’ He comes closer, looming over me.
‘You can’t. We can’t.’ My voice is a whisper.
‘Why? He’s not here, is he? But you are. Alone, during the day, when no one can see you. Interesting choice, that.’ He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. Oh darkness. I’d forgotten the heat of him, up close.
‘You’re an ass.’ But my words lack bite.
‘After all I’ve done for you.’ His hand comes to my chin, tipping my face up to his.
‘I should go.’ A last breath of defiance.
‘You know where the door is.’
I start to move. At least, I think that’s what I do. Yet somehow, I end up in his arms, his mouth on mine. Oh God. He’s so warm. Our tongues tangle, things deepening, until it seems the room is full of sparks. His hard length presses into me as his hands explore, my fingers tangled in his hair.
I should not be doing this.
I might want Michael, but Joaquin is who I need, for the good of my realm. And kissing my lieutenant, though it might run in the family, is not part of my plan. I manage to get my hands between us, pushing until he lets go.
‘E, wait—’
I don’t look back, wiping away tears as I run from the gatehouse.
Cool air blows the heat from my face, the scent of him from my hair, my clothes.
What in darkness was I thinking? I race up stone stairs, not caring about cobwebs or anything except getting back to the safety of my room.
Once there, I close the panel, leaning against the carved fireplace.
A sob bursts out, despite my best efforts, my chest heaving.
I tear off my coat, pull my gown over my head, rough as though to punish myself for how stupid I am. I run the shower hot, scrub my skin until it’s pink, wanting every trace of his touch gone from me, no matter how I might crave more.
I need to be so careful. Joaquin has declared for me.
It doesn’t mean I have to accept, but I’d be a fool not to.
With Michael, I feel like an equal. I’ve always felt safe with him, from the first time we met.
Always felt drawn to his warmth, to the feeling that he is home.
Joaquin, on the other hand, feels like …
possibility. Complicated, yet exciting. And someone who chose me, in front of all the assembled Raven families.
The fact that Michael’s touch sets me aflame needs to be set aside.
Which would be manageable, if I hadn’t chosen him as my lieutenant.
I bang my fist against the tiles, my head hanging as water sluices over me. Eventually, I get out and dress, drying my hair and spritzing myself with anti-feed just to be sure. I wish I could go to bed, but it’s Joaquin’s first night in my home. And I want to spend time with him too.
I grab a portable candle lamp and leave my room, the golden glow lighting the hallways, glimmering from the sweeping gold banister as I descend to the foyer. It’s deserted, apart from two guards either side of the main door. I wonder where Joaquin is.
He emerges from behind the golden curve of stairs, almost as though he heard me thinking of him. ‘Emelia, my dove. Where have you been?’ He prowls towards me, taking the candle lamp and switching it off.
‘What—’
‘You don’t need it,’ he purrs, one hand lifting my hair away from my neck. ‘Let me be your eyes in the dark.’ A graze of teeth against my throat, a flicker of tongue. My body responds, my back arching. Darkness. ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’
‘I’m sorry. I slept late.’
He huffs out a laugh, his hand at my waist. ‘You are fascinating.’ He draws out the last word, like a lingering caress.
‘The way you sleep. The delicious way you smell.’ He brushes his lips against mine.
His other hand tangles in my hair, pulling so my head tilts, as he sniffs along the line of my jaw. Oh God.
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘That you’re fascinating? Oh, my dearest, you have no idea. I wish to know you, Emelia Raven.’ He’s all coiled strength, a violet-scented predator, his voice a rumble. ‘In every way a person can know another.’
Darkness enfolds us like a cloak. I feel myself responding to it, to him, something awakening in me.
I relax in his arms and he growls, a soft purr against my throat.
My vision adjusts and I realise I can see more of him, the dangling jade earring, the angle of his jaw as he leans in for a kiss.
He presses against me, his hands sliding down the curve of my hips, his mouth on my neck.
I gasp, blushing. I might not be able to see much, but there are guards in here who can.
‘We should find my parents. And your friends. Where are they?’
‘I sent them out to play. Tonight is about me and you.’ He takes my hand, kissing the inside of my wrist. I remember being bitten there, by another vampire, my body heating at the memory of what we were doing.
‘Yess,’ he murmurs, his mouth descending on mine once more, ‘that’s it, my Raven. Let me feel you.’ He deepens the kiss until I see stars, my heart pounding as he presses against me. I put my hand on his smooth chest.
‘Please.’ It’s a breathed word, but there are footsteps, the guards by the door coming closer. Joaquin steps back, linking his arm with mine.
‘Your parents, I believe, are in the main sitting room.’ He sighs. ‘I will do this, for you. If you promise to let me take you out tomorrow night?’
‘All right.’ I can do that. I want to do that.
And I’ll figure out what to do about Michael later.