Chapter 19
“See over that hill?” Otho whispered into my ear, his hand lightly touching my back in a way that forced me to repress a shiver.
“Yes.”
“That’s the front line. There isn’t a battle raging today yet, but there will be soon . . .”
Otho’s voice was deep enough that it didn’t carry on the pre-dawn wind.
The sky was just beginning to fill with the light of day, and it had been rough to leave the comfort of my cot in my tent to climb this hill with Otho.
But it was a good vantage point. I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes, squinting in the direction the general pointed.
At the end of where he pointed, there was nothing but dead grass.
I’m not sure what I expected to see, but something more dramatic at least.
“As soon as the battle begins, you and I are going to head east, and then, when I think we are far enough from the battle, you’ll head north again and try to get behind their lines.
Fake an injury, play the damsel in distress, anything for them to underestimate you.
Then, we will meet back where I leave you every fifth day and you will let me know any information you find out.
” His lips were pressed into a line, a crease present on his forehead.
He didn’t have to say anything, but I could sense he was concerned for my well-being.
I could still feel where his hand rested on my back.
“If you can’t get away one time, that is okay, but make sure you come the next time.
After ten days of not checking in, I will assume you are dead.
” He turned his dark gaze to me, and I swore his eyes flickered down my form, but as soon as I thought that he was looking at my face once more. “I will not come for you, understood?”
“Yes, sir.” It almost seemed like Otho was giving me a chance to sneak away. To start a new life in Malheim. But I didn’t say that out loud. If it wasn’t true, and I was likely to die on this mission, I didn’t want my fears to be confirmed.
“All right. Ensure anything personal you need is hidden in what you are wearing now, I will let Askel know I am heading out to walk you. Meet back here as the sun crests the horizon.”
I barely waited for him to finish speaking before I was jogging down the hill and back to my tent.
It was harder to run in the more formal dress I had been given, but I had a feeling I would be better perceived as a woman in distress wearing this that the riding dress I had pulled on in the woods two nights prior.
This dress contained a bodice which made it more difficult to breathe. Collum had complained about them when we were growing up but had promptly stopped wearing them when she had taken the factory job, and now I understood why.
The dress fell almost to the ground, and the skirt contained quite a bit of material. It was not a gown, that was for sure, as it was still made from some sort of cotton that was heavy and restrictive.
Returning to my tent breathing hard, I shifted through my backpack before realizing there wasn’t anything there I really wanted.
I had no true personal effects. I owned no jewelry, and my parents had forbade me from writing in a journal from a young age—my father claimed it was like creating a map to our secrets for the world to see.
And though I wished I had something left of my brother, I didn’t.
Even if I never returned to this tent, there was nothing in the bag I would miss.
Nothing I would need for my new life. So, with a frown, I closed my bag again and set it on the cot before returning to the hill to meet Otho.
As he walked up, this time he definitely gave me a once-over, frowning when he noticed I carried nothing.
“You have everything you need?”
“Yes,” I replied as he gestured for me to begin walking east. “A backpack would be too suspicious, and I don’t have any mementos of my life anyway.”
He raised his eyebrows at that, but said nothing, clasping his hands behind his back as we fell into step, side by side.
We walked mostly in silence, but as the sun began to climb the sky, my nerves got the better of me and I felt questions bubbling in my chest. “Otho, can I ask you something?”
His gaze didn’t move from the ground in front of his feet. “You can, but I can’t promise I will answer.”
I thought over my question again. Did I really want to go through the embarrassment of asking and him not answering? I decided it was worse to never know. “Why did you help me? At Adis’s house, and now?”
His lips twisted to the side, and for a moment I though he wasn’t going to answer and then, “Adis and I have been . . . working together . . . for a long time. While he might mean well, I know he can get irrational at times. I never appreciated his method of reacting to everything with violence.”
“. . . says the general of his army.” I couldn’t help the joke that slipped out, and I swore I saw his lip tick up at the end. The Otho who could joke was back.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love fighting. There is something so . . . rewarding about taking someone to the ground. But I do believe in consent, something Adis overlooks.”
I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t believe in forced military service, and I wish Adis would stop the mandatory conscription for both first and second sons. I also believe that war should be retaliatory only.”
I evaluated his words, my mind flashing back to his training. “But you said Adis initiated the war we are in right now.”
“That he did.” He dipped his chin. “And that is why we haven’t been getting along very well as of late.”
The next words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I don’t think there should be war at all. I think everyone should be peaceful.”
I heard what I thought was a scoff come from him. “I think that’s a na?ve point of view.”
“Why?” Something blue sparkled in the distance and I knew our time together was coming to an end.
“I believe in peace too, and though I love fighting for sport, even as a general I admit a world without war would be nice, but . . .”
“But, what?” I pushed, wondering why it was so hard to get him to talk.
“All it takes is one person. One evil person to decide to break the peace and when they do, if the world is accustomed to only peace, they are immediately squashed by the evil person and he wins.”
He had a point. “So as long as there is at least one evil person in this world, even if there is only one, we can never have total peace and we have to be prepared for when that evil individual may come.”
He turned to me, his feet planting themselves in the dirt. “Exactly.” He sighed. “This is where I leave you. See those brown spots on the horizon?”
I squinted. “I think so.”
“That’s the village where their army refills their supplies. Start there.”
I nodded, looking back the way we came to see the hill we had stood on earlier that morning. It was barely a raised speck on the horizon.
“I’ll see you in five days,” he said, the tone of his voice carrying an emotion I didn’t recognize. His gaze searched my face, but he must have found what he was looking for.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, watching as he began to walk the way we had come.
He didn’t look back, and I was starting think I had made a mistake, agreeing to scout for him.
But it didn’t matter now; I had a job to do. So, I squared my shoulders and set off in the direction of the brown dots on the opposite horizon.
After walking for what had to be hours, I realized I had made a vast mistake in not bringing my water skin. I had assumed it would make me look less vulnerable, but now I had a feeling that I would just look like an idiot when I arrived in the village dehydrated.
Oh well, too late now.
I had glanced over my shoulder a few times on the walk, but Otho had disappeared from view long ago.
As the town grew closer, I picked up my pace, hoping to appear out of breath by the time I arrived.
The good news was, I had become somewhat out of shape in the past fortnight, whether because of my low rations or the fact that my ribs had been broken twice, I wasn’t sure.
But it helped in this situation at least.
“Hello!”
The call came from my left, and I looked over to see a young boy who appeared to be no older than eight, a ball clutched under his arm. “What are you doing?”
I couldn’t believe my luck. “Sorry,” I breathed, my panting not faked. “I went for a walk and got lost. Are there any adults around I could talk to?” It was a lie, but I didn’t want to bombard the poor child with the fake sob story I had been preparing. He didn’t deserve that.
He nodded. “My mom is in the field.” He frowned as he said the words, his mood seeming to change in an instant. But then he turned and led me, not to the village, but to a farmhouse to the east I hadn’t seen as I had been too focused on getting to the village.
“Mother!” the boy called out as we got closer, and a head popped out from the tall grass, her blonde hair glinting in the sun. I glanced back at her son, who had dark hair and dark features. I figured there was a story there, but I knew it wasn’t my place to ask.
Her gaze flew to me, and I could see her visible relief, likely at the fact that I was female and not in a soldier uniform. Something which caused my heart to twist. I felt bad deceiving these people. “Nil! What have I told you about talking to strangers?”
“She said she’s lost, Mom!”
The woman sighed, bending back over to pick up a basket before making her way toward me.
As she approached, I could see the lines on her skin which indicated she likely spent most of her time working in the hot sun and worrying about her son.
“Go back and play, I’ll help her.” She flashed me a sheepish smile.
“There’s no one to play with, Mom. Can you come play with me?”
She shook her head. “I already told you I have to collect food for dinner. Why don’t you go see if anyone is in town?”