Chapter 34
Friar and I were solemn as we left Signa’s home.
Though she had agreed to help with the war, she had mentioned the fact that our numbers were lower than ever because of the Purge.
So many members had lost their only parent, or both, and had thus ended up without magic and a limited ability to read.
Regardless, she planned to put out a call to have them all bring their books and to ask if they would join our cause.
If there were no readers among them, she would send word for Friar or I to read to them, which had caused something else to niggle in the back of my mind.
“Friar?” I asked as we increased the distance between ourselves and Signa’s home.
“Hm?”
“Can you read?” It felt awkward to state it like that, but I was unsure if there was another way to ask for the knowledge I was digging for.
The confirmation of the validity of the information Otho gave me.
“A little, but I didn’t finish my lessons.” She sighed. “My brothers were also against magic. They still are.”
I swallowed. They weren’t the only ones with that sentiment.
We walked in silence the rest of the way, careful to take a roundabout way back to the keep where Friar was a secret from any prying eyes at Adis’s estate. I had forgotten to ask how she had gotten away in the first place.
We stopped just outside of the exterior wall, Friar pulling me into a brief hug. Which, though unexpected, was comforting. “I’ll send word if Signa does.”
“All right,” I agreed, returning her hug, though it felt a bit awkward.
We broke apart, and she headed toward the palace as I made my way to where I had left my horse, swiftly untying it and urging it in a gallop toward the camp.
Coming into town earlier that day had been my first time horseback riding alone.
While I had ridden a horse a few times as a child, my parents hadn’t owned one themselves, so the only experience I’d had prior to being taken by Otho was via school or friends, and those opportunities had been few and far between.
Earlier that morning, when Otho had offered me the horse, though I had never ridden alone, I didn’t want to tell him that, and I had jumped on its back without a word.
Luckily for me, things had gone well, and the horse seemed easy to please, especially now as I nudged it into a gallop, allowing the wind to flow through my hair as we moved swiftly over the hard-packed ground.
I didn’t want to be close to Adis for any longer than I had to.
I don’t know why, but I still feared he would see me and force me back under his servitude.
Though I had betrayed him, I knew one reader was likely not enough for his master plan, especially not now that I was becoming more aware of it.
Light slid from the sky, darkness moving in by the time I finally reached the outcropping of tents that had quickly become my home the last few days.
There were a few soldiers still moving about, but no one gave me a second glance as I entered the circle of larger tents where Otho’s tent resided before sliding off the horse’s back to lead it to the post where I had gotten on it this morning.
My thighs cramped as soon as my feet touched the ground, still not used to the amount of horseback riding I had been doing.
Noticing that the wooden bucket there was empty, I took the time to fill it from the creek nearby before giving the horse a final pat and heading toward Otho’s tent, rehearsing what I would say to him when I got there.
I was so busy with my mental conversation, it wasn’t until my hand rested on the tent flap that I realized there were two distinct voices coming from Otho’s tent. One I knew all too well.
Syrus.
“Adis wants your help finding out where the Reader disappeared to,” he grumbled. “Now that the cousin has been taken by Malheim, he’s realized the punishment he issued was too harsh.”
“You mean he’s desperate for magic, so he will take anyone who can read.” Otho’s voice was low, a lace of absolute malice threaded through it.
“It doesn’t matter. Just tell me where you last saw Milo.”
“I told you, he wandered off weeks ago with nothing but the clothes on his back. Not even a pack. He’s dead.” The lie sounded natural as it came from Otho’s lips.
Realizing I was standing in the tent doorway and could be discovered at any time, I swiftly stepped to the side, crouching down, around the corner, and slightly out of sight.
It wasn’t the best hiding spot, but my stomach was in knots as I pieced together what happened.
My cousin Collum had been taken from Adis .
. . by Hansen. While I still didn’t feel we left things on the best terms, I knew for a fact I still cared for her and didn’t want her taken anywhere against her will.
She was still my only family, other than Milo.
“Take me there,” Syrus demanded.
Though Otho protested, I could hear the sounds of clothing against skin and boots being pulled on just before the tent flap opened.
Otho’s shoulders were nearly to his ears as he stalked out of camp, Syrus on his heels. Neither glanced in my direction, and if Otho noticed the horse I had borrowed was returned, he gave no indication to Syrus, bypassing it on his way out of camp.
It only took a few seconds to make my decision.
No matter what had happened when I was imprisoned by Adis, Collum was my cousin. I needed to go after her.
I moved back to the horse I had just tied to the post and began untying her.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I stopped breathing at the sound of Otho’s voice at my back.
“Um . . . just got back from the errand, s-sir,” I stuttered, not sure if Syrus’s gaze was also settled on my back.
“Askel took Syrus to where Milo disappeared.”
My body instantly relaxed.
“Now, I know you got back earlier, so tell me where you were really going.”
There was something in his voice that made my body so aware of his presence it sent chills down my spine just to be close to him sometimes. I shook my head to clear it before turning to face him. “I overheard you with Syrus. I was going to ride to Malheim and trade myself for Collum’s freedom.”
All the color drained from his face. “You . . . can’t,” he whispered, his voice so far from what it usually sounded like. His hand reached toward me but paused midair.
As if he hadn’t meant to reach out.
“Why not?” I asked, tilting my head to the side, keeping my eyes on his arm. I don’t know where this confidence suddenly came from, but now that I was indulging it, it wasn’t going to fade—not even in the presence of Otho.
“You were just settling into your role here,” he insisted as he lowered his hand, though I could tell that his tone was off.
I turned back to the horse, preparing to pull myself onto its back. “I can’t let Collum be taken against her will for a second time.”
“Like you were?”
His words caused me to grimace. I wasn’t sure why I felt so strongly about Collum being in Malheim, and I was afraid to confront the fact that it might be jealousy, or unresolved feelings for Leif. “I can’t just leave her, Otho.”
He sighed, and when I turned back, he was threading his hands through his black hair. “I won’t stop you, but let’s at least discuss how we can spin this in our favor.”
I paused. “What do you mean?”
His eyes darted from side to side, a frown occupying his lips because of what he saw. He motioned me forward into his tent, his hand brushing my shoulder as I stepped through the flap.
I couldn’t stop the tingle that wove through me, even as I forced an image of Friar in my mind’s eye.
Once we were inside, a single candle flickering on the wooden table in the middle, he spoke again. “It was Leif who took her, so I think he knew it would draw you out.”
For some reason his words didn’t shock me as they once had.
I had long learned that Leif was not the man I had thought he was.
He wasn’t my friend. He probably wasn’t even my weighted, despite his insistence.
But I didn’t know what else to say to that, so I let my gaze rove over Otho’s tent, which was similar to mine, except he had a double cot instead of a single one—a thought I didn’t want to follow any further.
He also had far more uniforms than I did, all of them tossed about haphazardly.
“You don’t seem surprised.” His words interrupted my visual tour of his room.
“I’m not.” I sighed. “Malheim thinks the only way to win this war is magic. As does Ralheim. That makes both Collum and I pawns.” Without thinking, I sank onto the edge of the cot.
“When Friar and I were in Ralheim today, we saw the Seid leader, and even she acknowledged there are very few readers left, and even fewer books to read magic from.”
His hand rose to scratch his chin. “And you still think it’s best to just ride in there and demand your cousin’s release.”
I shook my head. “You’re right; I was being impulsive. Is there a way we can turn this in our favor?”
To my utter surprise, Otho sank down on the cot next to me, his gaze focused on the tent cloth.
“I had hoped to solve this war with as little battle as possible, but Adis and Hansen have long made it impossible, so I think it is time we go on the offense.” He grimaced as he said it, and I knew how much it pained him to put himself on the path Adis wanted him to take.
“The Seid will never be safe until we put an end to both Hansen and Adis, so we will start with Hansen.”
I, too, did not like the sound of being an aspect of battle plans, but I knew that he was right.
This was larger than us at this point, and peace wasn’t an option.
Otherwise, we were no different than Milo and his indecision.
My mind briefly flickered to Signa’s words, that this war was bigger than we realized, but I pushed them away.
Instead, my attention fixated on the fact that I could feel the warmth radiating from Otho’s thigh.
My mouth was dry and I had to wet my lips before voicing my proposition. “What if I exchange myself, but then you use it as an excuse to attack? Technically, I am property of Adis.”
Otho emitted a groan, his weight shifting. “I don’t want to put you in the middle like that.”
“It’s too late,” I insisted rubbing my neck. “I’m already in the middle, and you know I won’t rest until Collum is free.” She was still my cousin.
“All right. Then here is what we will do. You will trade yourself, insist Collum be allowed your horse, and she will return here.”
I nodded as he moved about the tent, pulling items into a bag that I didn’t recognize in the low light.
“You will say you are acting alone—you can even say you ran away. Leif may not believe it . . .” His lips twisted in an odd way before he continued.
“And you may have to engage in drastic measures to ensure he doesn’t raise the alarm.
” He pushed the pouch into my hands. “There is a vial of poison in here, if you find yourself in a bad situation. Just tell him to calm down and have a drink with you. The leaves in the other jar are the antidote. Since it will be too hard to poison just him, you must poison yourself as well and take the antidote as soon as possible.”
I opened the bag, observing the two glass jars. Although it was terrifying that I had the ability to kill someone in this tiny pouch that I held in my hands. It was also exhilarating, and I hoped after this was all over I would have the option to use the plants used to make these in my experiments.
“Six days after you arrive, we will attack when the moons are at their peak in the sky. When that happens, you run for the woods. I will find you there.”
It was suddenly hard to swallow. It was one thing to discuss my distrust of Leif, another to plan the deaths of what could be hundreds of people.
“If you meet anyone you trust not to betray you, drag them to the woods with you. But we will surround the palace, and my soldiers will only know to watch for you, so anyone not within your arm’s reach is fair game.”
Tingles skittered over my skin as the reality of what he was saying settled in. This was the side of Otho I had only heard rumors of and seen in action, briefly, once. The Otho who was a well-regarded general, a killer, and the sight of blood didn’t bother him.
“Do you understand?” His words were firm as his dark gaze searched my face, the corners of his lips downturned.
“Yes, sir.” I clutched the pouch to my chest, still unable to calm my racing heart. My eyes were drawn to his lips, and I forced myself to look away.
“Good. You will leave at first light—give the horse tonight to rest.” His voice was firm, and he kept his gaze pointed away from mine.
I wanted to protest, say that Collum shouldn’t spend more time there than absolutely necessary, but I knew he was right. The horse had just ridden all the way from Ralheim, and it was fully dark when I stepped outside of the tent.
It was awkward to leave the tension that was between Otho and me in the tent, but I knew that it was probably inappropriate for me to be in there in the first place, considering he had Friar, and I would never want to put her and my relationship at risk.
Plus, I already had a weighted.
I grimaced at that thought as I crossed the camp. I couldn’t believe Leif was the one the universe had decided I should spend the rest of my life with.
It didn’t take long to find my tent, and when I peeled back the flap, my mouth dropped open at what I found inside.
Everything I owned had been shredded.
I didn’t have the time to deal with it now, and I didn’t want to bother Otho either, so I simply pushed aside the shreds and lay on the cot without a blanket (as they had shredded that too). It wasn’t my first night without a blanket and it certainly wouldn’t be my last.
Whoever had thought they could scare me by shredding the two dresses I owned and my army-issued blanket obviously didn’t know me. Because if they did, they would know I had no attachment to the possessions which had been mine for only a few fortnights.
A few possessions were the least of my problems right now.