Chapter 37
The Collum lying on the bed was not my cousin.
Well, it was, but she looked nothing like how I had left her the season before.
Gone was her luscious skin and rosy cheeks, and though she had always been on the thinner side, it now appeared as she hadn’t eaten in a fortnight. Sweat beaded on her forehead as I cautiously stepped toward the bed.
I placed my hand on her forehead only to immediately draw it back when I felt the fire burning there.
“Astrid?” Her eyelids moved, but didn’t open, her voice hoarse.
“It’s Runa,” I whispered, moving my hands over her body, trying to discern the cause of whatever was ailing her. I’d never wished to have healing powers more.
If a book with those powers even existed.
“Runa? Is Milo here too?”
I shook my head before realizing her eyes were still closed. “No, you’re in Malheim, do you remember being transferred here?”
“Malheim?” Her forehead creased. “I’ll be up in a moment to read.”
She was delirious. Which was no surprise based on what I felt on her forehead. I was no healer, but I did know a few potions which could break a fever. I began mentally running through them, trying to remember if I had seen the ingredients I would need when Leif and I had visited the lake.
“I’ll be better soon.” The whisper was low and didn’t sound much like the cousin who used to come up with any excuse to ask me to bake her a pie. “As soon as Hansen takes me to the king.”
The title struck me. “You’re going to the king?”
“Yes, it’s why I’m here.”
It was surprising to hear the clarity in these words when she had appeared delirious not a moment before. I touched her forehead again. It was still entirely too warm for me to believe the words falling from her lips.
“I’m going to make you a potion,” I assured her, my heart twisting in my chest at the realization that even with my skills, it could prove futile.
“Always the chemist.” Her lips twisted, but before I could reply, they parted, a heavy breath passing through. She had fallen asleep instantly.
Knowing I couldn’t linger here, I scoured the room. While I’d had a plan to get in here, I hadn’t thought I would stay much longer than to tell her I was here too, and hadn’t exactly figured a way to sneak out.
Finally, I decided that just walking out of the room, acting like I belonged there, would have to do.
Pushing open the door, I slipped past the guard, avoiding his gaze as I closed the door and made my way toward where I had drawn him deceptively before.
“Miss?”
I stopped in my tracks, fear rolling in my gut. I turned. “Yes, sir?”
“Be careful out there.” He pointed toward the door. “There was a disturbance earlier.”
I nodded. “I will.” I spun back, resuming my path before he could say anything more, suppressing the smug grin that was rising on my lips.
Men really did see only what they wanted to see.
It didn’t take long to collect the items I needed.
Luckily, there were the flowers I was searching for, right on the bank of the lake.
There was also a willow tree, granting me the willow bark necessary.
The only issue now was where I would get the water to boil the ingredients together before reducing it to a syrup I could give Collum.
I spent the walk back scheming, only to come to the same conclusion that I’d come to before. I would just have to walk into the kitchen and start making the mixture, acting like I belonged there. Hopefully it would continue to work.
At this point, the moons were high in the sky, and when I arrived at the kitchen, it was shrouded in darkness.
Not wanting to waste the gift I had been given, I hurried to build a fire in the fireplace, lighting it with the stone left nearby just for that purpose, before handing a pot over the burgeoning flames.
It had been a long time since I’d been able to experiment, and I longed for my garden briefly before remembering that Helene had taken it over anyway. The life I longed for was gone, not that I was happy then anyway.
And I would never get it back.
Continuously stirring the mixture was arduous, but as the moons finished their journey across the sky, and my eyelids drooped, it was finally thick enough for me to pull the pot from where it lounged over the flame before pouring the syrup I had created into a small jar I hoped the kitchen servants wouldn’t miss.
I stomped on the edges of the fire, hoping it was small enough that it would die out before anyone arrived for breakfast service.
There simply wasn’t time to wash the pot as I would have liked to do, but a quick rinse under the pump had the bulk of the willow bark smell dissipating.
The next soup cooked in the pot might be a bit bitter, but it wouldn’t harm those consuming it.
As I made my way back to my room, it was a struggle to keep the jar concealed in my armpit, as my feet seemed to disobey my directions and I was nearly stumbling as I passed the guard in front of Collum’s door.
He too must have had a long night, as his own eyelids were closed as he was standing and leaning against the door.
I would remember that for later.
For right now, I was much too tired to care for my cousin, not even bothering to slip off my shoes before collapsing in my own bed, asleep just as my head hit the pillow.
The next night, it was far easier to sneak into Collum’s room. Mostly because it was the same guard and he had observed me leaving the night before. Maybe he thought I was a healer, or another Malheim servant. Either way, I wasn’t about to correct him.
Collum was in the same condition she had been the night before. It took all my energy to help her sit up enough that she wouldn’t choke on the potion as it went down her throat. It was like moving a child; she was so light, even in her fevered state.
“Runa?” Collum didn’t open her eyes.
“I’m here.” It was a struggle to keep my voice from wavering, a fight to keep the exhaustion and sadness from weaving its way into my voice. “I need you to drink this.”
“Okay.” She didn’t fight as I lifted the jar to her lips, tipping back about one swallow of the potion. Still, she nearly choked. I would need to provide smaller swallows.
Thus commenced the rhythm of me pouring a small amount in her mouth, helping her tilt her head back and swallow, allowing her to take a breath before pouring in the next.
When the jar was empty, I eased her back into a lying position.
“I’m glad you came back, Runa.” Collum’s words were airy, like she was far away.
I didn’t know if Collum had been told that I had been in Malheim before, or if she thought we were still in Ralheim. Either way it didn’t matter, and I smoothed the hair off her forehead.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
I debated telling her the truth, knowing that no one would believe her delirious ramblings. But knowing she had moments of clarity made me rethink the lie coming to my lips. “For you, of course.”
“Oh. I don’t need saving.” A smile ghosted her lips. “I’m happy here.”
She was wrong of course, and this confirmed in my mind that she didn’t know where here was. Regardless, I kept those thoughts to myself; it was clear it was strenuous for her to speak.
Instead, I sat on the bed near her head, pulling her into my lap. I leaned back against the headboard, running my hands through her matted hair, which gave me an idea of just how long she had been sick.
I allowed my own eyes to drift closed; it had been a long day.
Not only had I barely slept before Leif had come knocking on my door to take me to the library, but I had spent the entire day pouring over texts—none of which had mentioned anything about weighteds.
But Leif had been desperate, and though he stole kisses from time to time, we had found nothing of note, and I still felt very little for him. Much to Leif’s dismay.
It didn’t take long before I too was drifting into dreams. One of the few happy ones, where I was a full-fledged chemist, working at the university and teaching other women about chemistry . . .
And there was no war brewing on the horizon.