Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
ELLA
Charity Flag Football Game
Lightning sirens cleared the rest of the stands. A few diehards remained on the edge of the parking lot. Small groups of players formed on the sideline to collectively shiver and chat.
"He’s a bit odd, that one." Misha wrapped her arms around herself in her boyfriend’s jacket; she looked like a toddler playing dress-up. She jutted her chin out in an effort to point at Maddox. "Ricky likes him so there must be something more to him. Seems a little dull to me."
"He’s not dull. He just has—" an intensity in his eyes… God, when he’d looked at me like he wanted to devour me? "He, uh, he helped me out last year. When I needed a friend."
"I can tell you like him," Misha said. The mist changed. Fat drips of water hit my scalp and ran down the side of my face. "You’re coming to the dinner tonight, right?"
"Oh, no, I wasn’t going to. Thanks, though." My heart fell into my stomach. A weird swooping sensation caught them both as my insides began to burn.
"Mmm, these boys will be in tuxedos. If they can’t find a woman in a tux? There ain’t no hope."
Big, slow drops dripped faster and turned into rain. Thunder rumbled overhead. Squeals rose from the remaining spectators. Several players ran for the parking lot.
He could be with some other woman. I took a deep breath. My stomach pitched, sloshing acid around my aching heart.
"Hey." Kanami moved next to me and did some half jog, half dance thing as she puffed clouds of air. "Nice catch."
"Thanks."
"I’m pretty sure the girls on both sides are done," Kanami said. "Time’s up anyway. But, it’s a tie, if you can believe it."
I blinked. "Is it? I lost track." I glanced up at the sky. "The rain’s cold."
"Seager wants sudden death overtime." Kanami rolled her eyes.
I blinked raindrops out of my eyes. "Is that a thing?"
"He just wants to call it that," Misha said with a huff. "I can almost guarantee it.”
"There’s a hopeless one for Valentine’s Day."
"He has a whole fan club." Misha shook her head. "He grouses about it, but I’m pretty sure he secretly loves the attention."
"Can you still sign up for Mick’s table?" Kanami crossed her arms and shuddered.
I shook my head. "I’m not going to the dinner thing."
"Well, if you’re not," she said with a shrug, "would you mind if I ask him out?"
The world stopped. What. The. Fuck? Heat washed over me and filled my lungs with fire. I was pretty sure I could have breathed flames at her right then.
"I mean, I don’t really know him that well or anything"—she started with that weird jog-dancing in place again—"but we talked a few times when he was over. I just thought…"
I gritted my teeth as an image of Maddox kissing Kanami popped into my head.
"Yeah, so I’m gonna head out." Misha’s eyes darted back and forth between me and Kanami. Misha held up a loose cuff. "If you change your mind, Red, you can text me. This rain, yeah." She shuffled off, tennis shoes slapping against the mud.
"You’re going to ask Maddox out?" My whole body might have been on fire. "On a date?"
"I dunno." Kanami stopped her exercise and stood still. "You’re over him, so, why not?"
A thousand scenarios ran through my head.
Of him leaving that night and coming back after I went to sleep—to be with Kanami.
There were a few times I returned from class to find them both at the apartment.
It had never occurred to me. God, I was still so damned blind.
"I didn’t realize I was standing in your way.
" My gloves creaked as they formed tight fists.
Grey eyes widened and she took a step back. "What?"
"Were you hooking up that whole time?" Pain punched through the wall of my abdomen and twisted. "Is that really why he hung around? Because you two were screwing behind my back?"
"Oh my God, no. What the hell?" Her face turned ashy. "That man only had eyes for you the entire summer. Even now."
Halos pulsed in the corners of my vision.
"Geez, Red, if you’re still that hung up on him, you need to tell him."
"What’s the point?" I rubbed a hand over my wet forehead. "They always leave. He’s no exception."
"Mick isn’t Ash. Ash had problems you overlooked for too long. For your own reasons. Only you know why. But Mick—"
"He left, Kanami. It’s not a ‘me’ decision. He just pulled away and left." I huffed an achy breath. "I felt like such an idiot."
"Why?"
"I don’t know." That churning acid feeling took root, again. "I don’t know what I did wrong. Just like with Ash. What’d I do? Why do they need more than me?"
In the center of the field, the ref whistled. He made an "X" with his forearms, calling the game over. The few remaining players on the field moved to the sidelines.
Maddox and Seager remained rooted in place. The two faced off, arms crossed, like they were each daring the other to walk away.
Kanami put her hand on my shoulder. "I meant why did you feel like an idiot for going after what you wanted? Even if he’s not into you that way, what has anyone ever gained by holding back? Asking for permission? Waiting around and just hoping?"
I let my head drop into my hands. Why the hell were we having this conversation? In freezing cold rain—when I felt like pushing her face-first into the mud? She’s my friend, that’s why she asked. I took a deep breath and held it for a count of three before breathing out.
"You know, I have this friend, her nickname is Red because she’s bold and passionate and a fighter. And she’s a badass softball player who was named All-American last year."
I looked away. "I’ve wanted to talk to him a thousand times.
Thank him for his help. Ask him why he left.
I’ve thought of confronting him, or even being mild and ‘mature’ and acting like we were always ‘just friends.’ I didn’t know the right way to handle it, so I just didn’t do anything.
" I stared across the field at my duffel bag sitting next to Kanami’s.
Everything’s probably as wet as we are. I sighed. “I cut him out, blocked him, tried to erase him from my life. But, being here today…I know that’s not what I really want.”
"Well, I was just messing with you anyway," she said with a laugh. "I have a hot date." She moved away, shuffling through the mud toward the sideline.
I blinked, watching her get farther away. What? I hustled to catch up. "Wait, who? Not just a date, but a hot one? Where’ve I been?"
"Well…" We fell in stride as we jogged to the side of the field where we started the day—closest to the grandstands and the locker room.
"Remember that weird guy after practice right when we came back from break? I saw him in like three different cars the same day, hanging out in the parking lot?"
I frowned as I kept pace beside her. "Not really. No?"
"We called security, who called the sheriff. Remember?"
We slowed to a walk as a vague memory of a seriously unimpressed deputy sheriff dimly flit through my brain. "I thought they didn’t find him."
"Oh, they did. In this one-horse town? His name's Chann, short for Channing, and he's a deputy marshal."
I stared. Is she serious?
"I couldn’t really talk about it, but he met me at the sheriff’s office and apologized for alarming me." She shivered and clutched her jacket as we slowed to a walk. "He’s seriously the sweetest guy."
"That’s like, literally insane."
"Crazy or not, he’s my date." She retrieved her bag, hefting it over her shoulder.
"A hot older guy, huh?" I sighed and picked up my sports bag. Another shudder grabbed my spine and shook.
"Well, not too much older. He’s not really happy being a marshal, so he’s applying to SWAT school. Like, he’s seriously hardcore."
Fitting, actually.
Kanami stopped mid-stride. She fished something out of the pocket of her duffel. "Oh, uh, here. In case anyone needs the bathroom before they go." She handed me a set of keys, her eyes straying to the long building situated behind the bleachers and off to the side. "I’m desperate for a hot shower."
Sounds like heaven.
"Maybe I’ll get to take one with Chann." She waggled her eyebrows and did a little shimmy. "Happy Valentine’s Day to me. Don't wait up."
"Have fun." I watched her leave. "Wait, you're not going to the group date? The one you've been hounding me over, and—”
She picked up her pace into a jog.
“You did this on purpose.” I stamped my foot into the ground, only to have cold rainwater splash my socks and soak into the tops of my cleats. “I know you can hear me!"
Out of the corner of my eye, Seager grabbed the front of Maddox’s shirt at the same time he raised his fist. "Oh shit!"
I broke out into a run.