Chapter 20
CARSON
Ayla’s video is a hit with the family. It’s fun to watch them taking in all the images, laughing at funny pictures, awwing at romantic photos and baby photos. But it’s most fun to watch Ayla, watching her own video and smiling softly as she eats the dessert I got for her.
So there was a little blip in the carefully planned event.
Nobody cares and I’d say it’s still a success.
Gia seems genuinely thrilled with everything, but most of all, I’d say, she’s thrilled that her whole family, or nearly, is here to celebrate with her.
It makes you think about the kind of life you need to live to have your whole family show up for your ninety-ninth birthday.
It’s inspiring. And also a little depressing.
Because I don’t have that kind of family right now and I’m not sure I ever will again.
I can’t keep my hands off Ayla. It’s been like that all night: sitting beside her, dancing with her, comforting her. It’s supposed to be putting on an act, but it’s fucking real. What am I going to do after this?
I have thoughts. Do I have the guts?
The party wraps up soon after the slide show. Nonna’s tired.
“We still haven’t talked,” Ayla says to Nonna as she prepares to leave.
“I know.” Nonna looks as sad as Ayla. “Let’s do this—we can have breakfast together. Just us.”
“Okay.”
They make a plan for the morning and Vince and Melissa take Gia back to their cottage.
The kids never came back to the party; Hannah and Lyla stayed back to put them to bed.
Unlike last night, there doesn’t appear to be an after party happening, so I help Ayla with a few last things and then we too head back to the cottage.
Ayla throws herself down on the couch, arms outstretched. “Oh my God. I’m exhausted.”
“You’re amazing. It was a fantastic party for Nonna.”
“Thank you.” She lets her head fall back. “It was worth it, for her. But some of the others…” She exhales a long breath. “I’m not so sure of. I can’t believe they all left before my video.”
“But they came back.”
She lifts her head and gives me a narrow-eyed look. “You left, too. Where did you go?”
“I…”
“Did you round them up and tell them to come back?”
“Well, yeah.”
A slow smile spreads across her face. “Carson.”
Okay, she’s not pissed. I was hoping I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t handle her being so disappointed and hurt. Once again, her family took her for granted and I wasn’t having it.
“That is the—” She stops, sounding a little choked up. “Well. Thank you.”
I walk over and crouch next to her. I pick up one foot and slip the thin strap off her heel, then slide her foot out of the sandal. Then the other foot. I set the sexy shoes aside.
“Ohhh, thank you. My feet are killing me.”
I lift a foot again and wrap my hands around it, digging my thumbs into her arch.
“Ohhhh God.”
“Feel good?”
“Yessss. But I think my feet stink.”
I choke on a laugh. “They do not stink.”
I massage both feet, then move on to her calves. Her legs are silky smooth and warm. I don’t know if her calves are sore, but she doesn’t stop me.
“Would the hot tub feel nice right now?”
She lifts her head to peer at me. “Yeah. But…”
“We’ll make sure we don’t stay in too long.”
“We probably won’t have it all to ourselves this time.”
“Maybe not.” I frown. A tub full of cousins isn’t what I had in mind. But whatever. “Okay.” I stand. “Get your bikini on. Did I tell you I like that bikini?”
“You did not.” She stands, too.
“I do. Although I hate to see this dress go.” I slide a hand from her shoulder down her arm.
She shivers.
“It’s sexy, too.”
She bites her lip. And yeah, that’s also sexy. Okay, breathing makes her sexy.
I’m fucked.
We both change into our suits, this time not bothering to hide in the bathroom. I’ve seen her naked body a million times; it shouldn’t be hot. But it is. I can’t get enough. My damn dick is excited, too.
We sprint along the sidewalk because, fuck, it’s cold! And I’m happy to see we’re the only ones here. Like last night, the pool is quiet, glowing blue, and steaming. I set my phone on the concrete deck near the pool with the timer set so we don’t overdo it.
“Ahhh.” Ayla sinks into the water up to her chin. “Nice.”
This time, we sit side by side, feeling the water burble around us, letting the jets relax the tension out of our muscles.
“Do you think the Loch Ness monster is real?”
I turn my head to look at Ayla. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“I don’t know.” She swishes a hand through the water. “I think I’d like to go there and see.”
“Yeah? That would be cool. But I thought you were going to Paris.”
“That’s first, yes.”
“Why Paris?”
“I don’t know. It feels like goals. It’s iconic. Beautiful, French, old.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“I’ve never really traveled much. We went to Canada every summer. A few times to the Caribbean for winter breaks. But that’s about it. And there’s nothing keeping me here now, so why not?”
“You’re kind of a homebody.”
Her chin lifts. “True. I like being home. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Did I say there was?”
“Er, no. But I can travel and still love coming home.”
“Sure.”
“You think I’m just talking shit, don’t you?”
“No!”
“You do. I can see it on your face. Anyway, you never answered my question.”
“What question?”
“If the Loch Ness monster is real.”
“Oh. Right. Well… I think people have seen something. But it’s probably just a big fish.”
“That’s not very exciting.” After a beat, she says, “What? Why are you smiling like that?”
“Because you’re cute.”
Her mouth twists. “That feels condescending.”
“Saying you’re cute is condescending?” I glide through the water so I’m in front of her. “When have I ever been condescending to you?”
She tilts her head. She’s thinking. “Okay, I don’t know. Never.”
“When I say you’re cute, I mean that sincerely.” I touch her nose. “But you’re also beautiful. And hot. Sweet but also sexy as fuck.”
Her face lightens. One corner of her mouth lifts. “Thank you.”
“I probably didn’t tell you that enough.”
Her eyes widen, then lower, eyelashes fanning on her cheeks. “You’re taking responsibility for something you did wrong?”
“I know I did a lot of things wrong, Ayla.”
Her mouth softens. We regard each other silently for a moment. Then she says, “I probably did, too.”
“Probably?” My lips quirk.
“Okay, I did.” She lowers her eyes, looking sad.
I move closer and find her waist with my hands in the water. “Do you think it’s too late?”
Fuck. My gut cramps up.
She slowly lifts her eyes. Studies my face. Then whispers, “Too late for what?”
“For us.”
The pulse in her throat flutters. With parted lips, she gazes back at me. “I don’t know.”
Well. That’s not a no.
“Carson… you’re seeing someone else.”
“No. I’m not.”
“No?”
“No. I told you Emma and I went out twice. I thought maybe it was time to get out there, so when she asked me out, I agreed. That night at the gallery was the first time. Then we had dinner one night. She’s great. Pretty and smart.”
Ayla’s eyes narrow.
“Smart enough to know that I wasn’t ready to date again.”
Ayla blinks. “Oh.”
“Yeah. She told me…” I pull in a breath. “She told me I was a nice guy but clearly not over my wife.”
Her eyes widen.
“At first, I was pissed off, because what the hell did she know? But she was right.” I give Ayla a searching look. “I’m not over you, Ayla.”
Fuck. I said it. Anxiety hums over my nerves.
“Carson.” She floats closer, into my arms. I turn us so I’m sitting on the seat and she’s on my lap, facing me. “I… I’m really confused.”
“I know. Me too.”
She drapes her arms over my shoulders and leans in to touch her mouth to mine. A soft, shy kiss. Then she pulls back. “I don’t know if it’s too late. And I’m scared. But… maybe we could talk about it?”
Oh Jesus. Relief flows through me. And hope flickers. “Okay.”
“But right now…” Her gaze drops to my mouth. “I just want…” She tilts her head. “This.” And she kisses me again.
I kiss her back, lifting a hand to touch my fingertips to the side of her neck, my thumb rubbing her cheek.
Our mouths open and she touches her tongue to mine.
A knot of need deep in my gut tightens. Her mouth is warm, wet, lush.
I slide my other hand around the back of her neck into her hair, our kisses deepening, mouths wider, trying to inhale each other.
My phone alarm chimes.
We both jump apart. Then laugh.
“Out of the tub,” I say to her, smiling. “I want you fully conscious and aware tonight.”
“Oh, I am.”
We’re quick out of the water, wrapped up in towels and hustling down the sidewalk in seconds.
Our sense of urgency doesn’t stop once we’re inside the cottage.
I reach for her hips and pull her back against my front.
She lets go of the towel and it drops to the floor.
My hands cover her abdomen and I kiss and suck on the soft flesh at the side of her neck, then I undo the bathing suit fastening at the back.
Her top loosens and I push it down over her arms. I fill my palms with her tits, soft and full, and responsive; her nipples tighten into hard points and I pluck at them with my fingertips.
She shivers against me, her head falling back on my shoulder.
“We need a shower,” I say in a low voice.
“Okay.”
I lead her into the bathroom and strip her out of the little bikini bottom, then shuck my shorts. I turn on the water and hold my hand under the spray until it’s warm and then I step inside with Ayla.
We stand beneath the water, my hands on her neck, thumbs caressing her jaw. I press on her chin to open her mouth and slide my thumb inside. Her eyes meet mine as she sucks on it. Fuck, that’s hot.
We draw back, heat rising, and I caress her shoulders down to her tits again, enjoying the slickness of wet skin and supple flesh. She takes my jutting cock in her hand and tugs.
“Fuuuuuuck.”
I slip my hand between her thighs to explore her pussy, bend my head to kiss her again, the sound of the water pattering down around us and steam filling the small space.
I have to stoop to get a better angle in her slit, and she caresses the back of my head, my wet hair, her other hand still jerking me.
A stream of soft moans slides from her throat as we kiss and touch each other.
Then she lowers herself, her mouth gliding down my pecs, my abs, and, sweet prancing Christ, she takes me in her mouth.
I lean back against the wall of the shower and watch her, mascara smeared around her eyes, mouth stretch wide to encircle my girth.
She gazes up at me, eyes hazy, crouched in front of me, her hands resting on my thighs.
I let my arms fall to my side and cant my hips.
“Oh yeah.” I groan out the words. “That feels so fucking good.”
She slides her mouth up and down my shaft, uses her tongue on the head, and hot sensation pours through me. My breathing goes harsh and my heart is a heavy pounding in my chest.
“Yeah… suck me… just like that…”
Tension builds painfully in my spine and my thighs tremble as pressure builds.
Ayla stands and wraps her arms around my neck. I replace her hand on my cock with my own, giving a couple of desperate strokes, then grab her ass in both hands, pulling her as high and tight against me as I can as I kiss her long and deep.
“Your make-up,” I say gently, running a thumb beneath one eye.
“Oh.” She blinks and takes a bottle from the shelf.
She rubs suds between her fingers, then washes her face, eyes closed, and lets water stream over her to rinse.
I take the bottle from her and do the same, but I run my soapy hands over her body, everywhere, the scent of musky amber hitting my nostrils and making my head spin.
She peers up at me with wet, spiky eyelashes and parted lips as I wash her, then rinse her.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” I growl. “But not here. In bed.”
“Yes. Please.”
I quickly scrub my own body and then we can’t get out and get dry fast enough, laughing as we kiss and towel off and stumble out to the bed. I push her down on the bed and come down over her, between her legs, my mouth at her sweet nipples, and I catch one between my lips and suck hard.
“Ohhh!”
I know the reaction I get from that. I know how much she loves that, how her body responds to that. I keep sucking, one nipple, then the other, plumping up her soft flesh to my mouth, playing with my fingers, too, until her hips are lifting and she’s writhing beneath me.
“Carson…”
“Mmm.” I’m not done. I lick lower, around her navel, then down to her pussy. She still has a patch of golden fluff there, but her pussy lips are bare and smooth. I lick over them, my hands pushing her thighs farther apart. “Christ. You taste amazing. I missed this.”
She lets out another long sigh.
I lick over her, into her leg creases, lower to her back entrance. She quivers and gasps and pushes against my mouth. “Easy. Patience.”
“Oh God.” Her fingers twist into my hair.
“Is this what you want?” I rub my tongue over her clit.
“Oh! Yes…”
“Such a sweet pussy.” I open my mouth on her and use my lips to suck so gently, then kiss her, then suck again. I draw back and use my fingertips to open her, studying her shiny pink flesh, the creamy center of her. My balls draw up tight against my body. “Christ, Ayla. So pretty here.”
With my index finger, I softly probe her opening, my mouth watering at the sight of her arousal.
“I need to taste this.” I dip my head and lap at her with my tongue, long, slow strokes all the way up, all the way down, then delving the tip of my tongue as deep inside her as I can.
Her taste makes me drunk. “Fuck. So sweet. I wanna make you come.”
“Uhhhh…”
She’s so wet now, my saliva mingling with her creamy fluid. I lick over her clit, making her shudder, and I do it again. And again. I want to worship her with my mouth.
Her soft sounds float around me.
I slide two fingers into her and crook them, remembering exactly where that spot is for her. She cries out and I move my tongue fast on her swollen clit, fingering her and licking her until her muted whimpers get louder and faster and her body tightens.
“Oh God!” Her hands are in my hair again, holding my face to her pussy as she arches and vibrates against my mouth, her inner muscles clamping on my fingers. Her head tosses on the pillow and I draw out her orgasm, sucking on her clit, then slowly licking it again as she calms.
“Fuck, I love making you come. I would do this all night long.”
My dick desperately needs inside her and I crawl up over her. Hands planted into the mattress, I kiss her mouth, then lick her taste again from her lips. She licks me back and I know she’s tasting herself and fuck, that’s hot.
I gaze down at her flushed face, a weird fizzy sensation filling my chest.
“Ayla. I never really let you go.”